Idols Go Home, Or Did They?

So it appears that Wonder Boy has been selected by Vote for the Worst as their pick, which is surprising since David Archuleta has been considered the favorite of the judges and producers to win ever since he warbled though “Imagine” so many years, I mean months, ago. Though now that Wonder Boy’s Stage Dad has been banned from rehearsals and from choosing David’s songs for him (see, Captain Jack was right) perhaps the judges and producers views of David will be different. Chances are, though, that the tweeners and middle-age women who have been screeching for Wonder Boy every time his name is mentioned will still be screeching for him no matter how badly he mangles the lyrics or sings out of tune.

It is always interesting to see what songs the judges select for the Top 3 contestants. Two years ago it definitely played a role in Elliott Yamin’s elimination. Elliott was asked by Paula to sing some sappy song, while Simon selected “Over the Rainbow” for Katherine McPhee. Yamin did his best with a bad song while McPhee aced a good song, and sure enough the next night Yamin was sent packing. It didn't seem to matter last season since it was more of a popularity contest than a singing competition. This season, who knows? I can’t tell if it is a popularity contest or a singing competition since none of these Top 3 contestants have been especially popular or have stood out with their singing.

One last wish before we begin, I sure hope next season is better….

Ryan sported some facial stubble tonight, perhaps to make himself look almost like an adult. Either that or he forgot to shave this morning. Mourning over the fact that this season has been the worst in recent memory, the judges are all wearing black tonight, though keeping in character Randy is wearing a black Hawaiian shirt, Paula has on a glittering blouse (though not as tight as usual), and Simon maintained his usual stylish T-shirt look.

Murray City, Utah’s David Archuleta: “And So It Goes” by Billy Joel, chosen by Paula. Paula spoke in general terms about why she chose the song. Nothing I can insult, but nothing worth noting either. Wonder Boy started out strong, and then he missed a couple of notes when the violins kicked in. The rest was decent. Not great, but not awful either. Typical Wonder Boy stuff. His eyes only opened, though, at the end of the song. Stage Dad was shown in the audience, so I guess the ban wasn't the retraining order that it should have been. The Dawg loved it as usual, despite the pitchiness. I don’t think Randy has said one critical thing about Wonder Boy all season. Paula thought David was a “storyteller”. Simon called it “very good” but “predictable” and “not outstanding” and got booed by the Peanut Gallery. Simon then toyed with the sorority chicks that booed him.

Ryan pimped iTunes from Randy’s chair, until the judges jumped in and stole Trained Seal’s lines.

Tampa, Florida’s Syesha Mercado, “If I Ain't Got You” by Alicia Keys, chosen by Randy: Funny, I thought The Dawg would want to choose Wonder Boy’s song. Interesting that Syesha got her song via text message (no doubt on her iPhone) while riding alone in a limo when previous contestants got theirs from the governor of their state, or at least with someone else in the room. Randy thought Yes In Her Name could be commercially successful with a song like this. Somehow I kind of doubt that she can commercially successful with anything that doesn’t involve a director or a key grip. She started out in tune and on pitch but rather boring, and then of course once the big chorus came up she came back with the big voice. Like Wonder Boy, it was decent but predictable, like most of Yes In Her Name’s performances. But since that is what got her in the Top 3, well that and the fact that she was the only African American chick in the Top 12, it could have been worse. Randy thought Syesha was amazing and peaking at the right time. Simon thought Randy chose the wrong song for her but that she still sang it well. Trained Seal accused Syesha of bagging it until now. Syesha argued that only now does she feel relaxed enough to “be herself,” or as much as this actress chick can be.

Kansas City, Missouri’s David Cook, “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack, chosen by Simon: This was an interesting song choice, almost as if Drunk Chick chose it instead of Captain Jack. Simon sent his song choice via text message also, but instead of being alone Rocker Dude got his while on the air at the local Fox affiliate. I loved the anchor dude’s reaction to the song choice, “Are you really going to sing Roberta Flack?” Simon wanted Rocker Dude to do something different, unlike Randy who wanted Syesha to sing her usual stuff. At the start Rocker Dude struggled a bit with the high notes but he put a lot of feeling into it. He slowly morphed the song into a big hair power ballad, complete with the big note at the end. You know, I really liked this performance. For the first time all season I actually felt a goosebump developing. Randy returned the favor and criticized Simon’s song choice. Paula thought that David was her “second favorite person who sings” this song, but doesn't bother to identify her first favorite. Simon thought it was one of Rocker Dude’s best performances to date and Randy cannot believe it. Ryan acknowledged that the Idol stage manager and David’s mom had tears in their eyes during the song and an awkward silence descends into the studio. Ryan, a word of advice, leave the awkward comments to Drunk Chick. Rocker Dude wished a happy belated Mother’s Day to everyone!

We've been told over and over by Trained Seal that we've gotten to know these contestants more this year than in any season before, and yet tonight, when in the past we saw long videos of the contestant's trips back to their hometowns, all we saw was David Archuleta's mayor and the morning news crew at Fox's Kansas City affiliate. No big ceremonies, no keys to the city, and only one elected official. We don't even know for sure if Syesha ever went to her hometown. That limo could have been in the studio parking lot for all we know.

David Archuleta, “With You” by Chris Brown, chosen by Wonder Boy: Coca-Cola interview time. Ryan asked why David chose the song and he looked scared while answering the question. I think he said he sang this song before but I could not tell for sure. He still looked scared, though. Ryan almost had to push Wonder Boy to the center of the stage. I don’t know if he is naturally this way or if the fact that he chose this song without Stage Dad’s backing put the fear of God in him. David started the song looking at the Peanut Gallery and five chicks screeched and fainted. Indeed, every time he looked down about a dozen of the sorority chicks screeched and collapsed in ecstasy. Eventually Wonder Boy stopped looking down, perhaps out of concern for their safety. He slurred about half the words so I couldn't tell if he missed any. Overall it was rather flat for me, but then I’m not 18, female, and attending UCLA. OhmyGod, Randy was actually critical, dumping on Wonder Boy’s song choice. Paula thought the song choice was perfect and that it was nice that it wasn't a ballad. She also pointed out the slurring. OhmyGod, she almost made sense. Simon thanked David for not singing a screechy ballad but thought it was like “a chihuahua trying to be a tiger” in its awkwardness. Ryan thought his “boo” (yes, he really said that) was being too personal.

Syesha Mercado, “Fever” by Peggy Lee, chosen by Yes In Her Name: For some reason Syesha slipped into her Florida accent tonight. After going with conservative clothing for her first song Syesha came back with another short cut sleeveless dress like she wore last week. She teased Ryan and me with having some fun with a chair but all she did was sit on it and walk around it a few times. So disappointing. The low camera angle did get close enough to some dangerous territory to keep my interest. Her vocals sure weren't doing it. Honestly, I paid no attention to her singing because I was too preoccupied with watching her hem line. No question in my mind what audience she was appealing to, pretty smart since the Peanut Gallery has been preoccupied with Wonder Boy and Rocker Dude all season. Randy apparently was paying attention to the singing but didn't say much about it. Paula didn't think the song choice showed what type of artist Syesha is. Are you kidding? It showed exactly what type of artist she is, an actress with nice legs and a big voice who is destined for the next travelling company of Rent. Simon thought it was a lame cabaret performance. Well, it was a cabaret performance, but lame? I guess it depends on what y’all were looking at.

David Cook, “Dare You To Move” by Switchfoot, chosen by Rocker Dude: Ryan used Syesha's prop to do the Coca-Cola interview with Rocker Dude. David thought the song described what he felt about the show, which to me sounded like he was describing an existential experience. David struggled to get out the soft notes at the start, but sounded more confident when the band kicked in for the chorus. A fairly standard Rocker Dude performance, but it was certainly better than Wonder Boy and Yes In Her Name. At the end I thought, “You know, I could almost see myself buying a record with this song on it,” with the emphasis on “almost.” Randy thought it was a little pitchy. Paula, “as an artist”, related to what David was going through in that the song never really got started until it ended, or something like that.

David Archuleta, “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg, chosen by The Producers: Oh boy, another screechy ballad. Oh, it’s this song. Sadly, I did recognize it. For most of the song David’s singing was drowned out by the back-up singer, even during the screechy parts. One change that the Idol producers might consider for next season is another sound mixer. Well, this one was again okay but nothing fancy. Interestingly, the reaction from the Peanut Gallery was more subdued than it was after the first two Wonder Boy performances. When the camera pulled back there appeared to be less of them. Perhaps the rest were still recovering from Song #2. The Dawg thought it was an interesting song choice as if Wonder Boy or Stage Dad had chosen it. Simon was even more critical of the song choice, calling it “gooey.” Didn't either of these dudes hear Trained Seal say that the producers chose the song? It’s not Wonder Boy’s fault that the song lyrics were gooey. You can’t even fault Stage Dad for this one. Captain Jack, though, all but conceded that Wonder Boy will be back next week.

Ryan pimped the summer tour and greeted Justin What’s His Name from Season 1.

Syesha Mercado, “Hit Me Up” by Gia Farrell, chosen by The Producers: Syesha ditched the dresses and went with an outfit more up tempo along with the song, basically tight jeans and your standard sleeveless blouse. Without the distraction I ended up paying more attention to the singing and I wasn't impressed. To me, it sounded like “blah, blah, blah, BIG NOTE” repeated over and over about 30 times. If she comes back next week I’ll go back to just watching her instead of listening to her. Randy thought it was just OK and got booed. Paula pointed out that the song was from the Happy Feet soundtrack, which sent the judges off on a tête-à-tête about whether or not the song was about penguins. This time it was Drunk Chick who didn't like the song choice and openly wondered if it’ll be enough to get her through to the Nokia finale. Simon was not too excited about her prospects either. Yes In Her Name was not too pleased. I could tell because her smile faded just a little bit. She must have figured out the code and determined that she was the one The Producers want to go home.

Even though there was only three minutes to go before the show ended Trained Seal still had time to pimp iTunes again.

David Cook, “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith, chosen by The Producers: I was curious to see if this song was as inspiring to Rocker Dude as “Dream On” was to Poser Mate. David was surrounded on stage by string players as the Peanut Gallery shrieked after just the first note. Instead of singing it straight he turned the song into a quiet power ballad before he pulled out the big notes and the guitar sound at the end. It may not have been his best performance, but I saw something from Rocker Dude in this performance that the other two contestants didn't show tonight, emotion. He at least sounded like he wanted to win this competition. The other two sounded like they were just going through the motions. Perhaps sensing that his kid Wonder Boy was in danger of elimination Randy declared that Rocker Dude was just okay and too predictable. Paula was in tears and raced thorough her comments. Simon declared Rocker Dude the winner of the night. Let’s see if that ends up being the kiss of death.

And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen… I wonder how that Chef Ramsey will survive without the Idol lead-in.

The Final Score: 9 shots at Paula, 8 shots at Simon, 11 shots at Randy (a new record for The Dawg I think), 10 shots at Ryan, and 7 shots at the audience. Pretty even this week. No references to Chris Daughtry but there were 4 references to other former Idol contestants and 5 references to David Archuleta’s father. 2 iTunes pimps, 1 summer tour pimp, 3 judges in black, 2 links, 2 references to acting, 2 references to musical theater, some penguins, and 1 amazed Kansas City anchorman. And yes, 1 goosebump performance. Finally.

Your Three Stars of the Night: David Cook’s first and third performances, followed by Syesha's dress in the second number. The rest were just okay.

The Fearless Prediction: Let’s see, David Cook was clearly the best of the three tonight, but then so was Melinda Doolittle last year and she got the boot. David Archuleta was the worst of the three but did nothing to scare off the tweeners and middle age chicks supporting him, and Syesha Mercado was her usual boring self but still has the demographics on her side. So I’m faced with a tough choice here. At this point I’m rooting, albeit only three-quarter heartily, for David Cook, so I won’t pick him. Dial Idol is predicting that Syesha Mercado will be voted off so I will go with her. That way if I’m wrong I can blame someone else.