Connecting the Dots

I normally don't do posts between shows but there are few things from last night's results show that are worth discussing now rather than next week. I may also not be able to post my comments next week, but more on that later.

So now we finally know why no one has been singing Beatles songs during theme nights that you would normally expect to hear them, such as British Invasion night. It appears the holders of the rights to the Lennon/McCartney library have been holding out, but now because this year's talent pool is so wonderful according to Ryan Seacrest (good boy, Ryan, here's a treat, now go get the ball) the Top 12 contestants will be able to sing Beatles songs.

One day after Seacrest makes this earth shattering announcement we hear that Michael Jackson is falling behind on his mortgage payments. Now let's play connect the dots....Michael Jackson needs money....Michael Jackson owns the rights to the Beatles songs....American Idol has lots of money and wants their oh so talented contestants to sing Beatles songs....cha-ching$$$!! Neverland is saved from the repo man and we get to hear these kids butcher songs from the Lennon/McCartney songbook. Now watch them all sing Wings' songs.

Too bad for Alaina Whitaker. Granted, she is a poor woman's Carrie Underwood and Tony Romo may be the only one who wants more of those, but there are plenty of other chicks who sing far worse than her who are still in this thing. The other three departures were accurately and fearlessly predicted by your truly so I don't feel all that sorry for them.

You notice that The Dawg and especially Ms. 3 Sheets to the Wind are telling every contestant who leaves at this stage that "it is only the beginning of your music career "? The beginning of what? Has there ever been a contestant who has been eliminated at this stage of the competition who has ever gone on to have a musical career with any kind of success? Can anybody even name even one? I remember there was a girl two years ago who's now playing college basketball and there was that girl last year who had topless pictures on the Internet, but somehow I don't think even Paula would consider that a successful career. At least Mr. Happy is honest when he tells these losers, oops I mean winners, that they should consider doing something else with their lives.

Now for a brief announcement for the 2 or 3 of you out there who read this blog regularly. My posts next week will be later than usual because other engagements will be taking up The Judge's valuable time. Have no fear, I will do my best to do my duty, for God and my country, if I can get access to a computer and don't mind staying up until 2 am.

A Box of Nilla Wafers

After a lackluster opening round the dudes stepped it up for Round 2, at least some of them anyway. Now let's see how the chicks respond after clearly outclassing the dudes last week.

Ryan introduces the girls and then criticisms them for their lack of enthusiasm. Ohh, snap! He then introduces Randy by revealing his shoe size (13-1/2, BTW). Paula can’t stop praising the guys last night, even though only 4 of them were any good. Ryan and Simon get into a philosophical discussion on the nature of criticism, though this time Ryan refrains from commenting on Simon’s haircut.

Carly Smithson, “Crazy on You”: She reveals that she works in an Irish bar and loves to clean and cook. I would say that it sounds like an Irish lass to me but I’m part Irish and thus resent the stereotypes. Fortunately she’s not wearing green. For the first time that I can remember she breaks out the rocker voice, and it’s much better than her ballad voice. She’s letting it all out tonight for sure, so much so that she’s nearly breathless at the end. Carly reveals that “Crazy on You” is her favorite song and it showed. The best opening performance thus far this season. While Randy was getting all technical I thought for sure that she would pass out. Simon still thinks she’s not living up to her potential but thought it was better than last week.

Syesha Mercado, “Me and Mr. Jones”: She’s done a lot of commercials in Miami. How is this a secret? She did tell us that she was an actor. She tastefully changes the gender of the song subject. It starts off slow and quiet, far different from the original, and then she belts out the chorus like one should. I don’t know if it was the best song choice but she did show off a nice voice. It was alright. Surprisingly, both Randy and Paula agree with me. Simon thought it was a “silly” choice of song. Essentially he says the same thing as Randy and Paula but because it’s Simon he gets jeered. Thankfully Paula spares us another “s-yes-ha” moment.

Brooke White, “You’re So Vain”: No, her secret isn’t that she’s had sex at age 16, but that she went to beauty school, which she ditched when she went for singing instead. She breaks out the guitar for an acoustic start, exposing lots of pitchy notes. It started to sound like it was getting better as she built up to the chorus, but then suddenly it got worse. It seemed to improve again after she stopped playing the guitar, like B.B. King. Randy asks if the song was about Simon. Paula thinks that it was the perfect song choice. Then why didn’t she sing it better? Simon loved it, probably because he too thinks the song was about him. Make that definitely after Ryan calls him on it. The judges clearly liked it much more than I did.

Ramiele Malubay, “Don’t Leave Me This Way”: Ryan breaks out the Tagalog and then talks to Ramiele about how sad she was when two of her buds left last week. Apparently she and Colton were tight. Hard to picture. She was a hula dancer when she was little. She’s still little so it must not have been that long ago (yeah, I know, I resist the Irish stereotype but jump right into the height stereotype. Me bad. At least I stayed away from Asian stereotypes). It’s not as good as last week but as usual she’s on point with tune and pitch. I think we’ve found this year’s Melinda Doolittle. This time she has added a little bit of an edge to it. Randy criticizes the song choice big time. Apparently the Dawg wants her to belt out ballads every week. Granted it wasn’t the best choice to show off her chops but it wasn’t that bad. Even Paula was critical, though in a nice way. Astonishingly Simon agrees with both Paula and Randy. Even more amazingly he doesn’t get booed for it. To complete this mind blowing experience Ryan agrees with Simon. What did they all hear that I didn’t? Ramiele later reveals that she changed her song choice 4 times because she didn’t want to do yet another ballad and be known as Ramiele “Lullaby”. Well, at least Ryan would have found it easier to pronounce her name.

Kristy Lee Cook, “You’re No Good”: Kristy thinks we would be surprised that she’s a tomboy. Let’s see, she rides horses, lives in a log cabin, wrestles, I’m not sure who would be surprised by this (though interestingly the MMA stuff hasn’t been mentioned since her audition). She starts out much stronger than last week, then hits some rough spots midway in. She pulls it out at the end. It didn’t blow me away but it was much better than last week. Song choice seems to be the theme of this week as all three judges yet again bring it up, only in Kristy’s case in a good way. Simon is still seeking to label her, which would annoy me but seems to be OK for her, so much so that she pledges to follow Simon’s advice and try country next week. Fight the power, Kristy! Don’t let them stereotype you! It’s a sure ticket to watching the Final Two in the audience.

Amanda Overmyer, “Carry on Wayward Son”: Speaking of typecasting. The Rock and Roll Nurse reads books and believes that knowledge is power. Well she is the only one that seems to have a job requiring a skill set beyond high school level. The Idol hairdresser went wild with the highlights this week, too wild perhaps. She looks about 50. The interesting anti-Idol song choices continue. It may or may not be the first time a Kansas song has been sung on Idol but I’m willing to bet no chick has ever done this number. However this time it’s a little flat. Make that a lot flat. The band blew down the doors but not Amanda. I was expecting better, and so was Randy, who gives some very good advice and gets jeered. Paula delivers off the wall advice, something about her dancing, and the audience is silent. Can’t be in shock after all they've heard Paula say for the last 7 years. The judges are clearly disappointed by this performance, and frankly so am I.

During the break we see the strange water commercial with Kelly Clarkson charming snakes. That’s what happens when you sue the producers of Idol to get out of your recording contract.

Alaina Whitaker, “Hopelessly Devoted to You”: She likes to keep the food on her plate separate from each other. What’s so weird about that? I feel the same way. I must admit I hate this sappy song, so I will try and not be biased. She’s got the full Carrie Underwood wavy hairdo thing going on. She does a decent job with this crappy song. It was good in spots, shouted in others. Randy jumps on the song choice yet again. Paula loved it for reasons she can’t explain. Simon thinks her grandma dressed her for the show. Since it’s 70’s night she might have. The fashion discussion continues until the break and again Ryan’s masculinity comes into the mix after he claims that he’s no expert on women’s fashions, eliciting lots of guffaws from the judges and the audience.

Alexandréa Lushington, “If You Leave Me Now”: Ryan nails her name correctly this time. She was a poster child for the Atlanta fire department and went around singing on their behalf. Quite a different song choice from the bouncy number last week. Nice vocal but nothing to write home about. She ended it with an original phrase that made it a little more interesting. Randy thought it was too safe. Paula lauds her for taking a chance with the arrangement. And these two are the ones that are supposed to agree with each other. Simon thought she was OK but the song was awful. Her father the Atlanta firefighter shakes his head in disbelief. You can imagine what he was thinking: “How dare that Brit criticize my daughter.”

Kady Malloy, “Magic Man”: She can sing opera as well as imitating Britney and Cher. Now that’s diversity. After being accused of being a pencil last week (a very pretty pencil though) she brings out the attitude tonight. The vocal was still flat though. The song choice didn’t show off her vocals much but it did show off more of her attitude, so it was better than last week. Randy’s stuck on the notes, though. Paula still thinks she needs to cut loose and I’m wondering what more Kady needs to do. A low cut dress with a high hem line might help. Simon is very frustrated, and millions of viewers with dirty minds all over America thought the same thing, Viagra. Instead, it’s because Kady is such a bombshell on tape but so bland live. He still seems to be pushing her to do the Britney thing, minus the insanity. In a pure blonde moment Ryan asks Kady is she’s overanalyzing. She gives him a blank stare and says that she’s just having fun. She’s still hot though.

Asia’h Epperson, “All by Myself”: She was a cheerleader through high school. Funny, she seems too cool for cheerleading. She has plenty of spirit, though. She breaks out a smile at the start of a depressing song, and then quickly realizes that she needs to be serious here. She’s really fighting this one, missing notes both low and high. Half way through it sounds like she’s regretting choosing this song. It is rather depressing. She busts out a big ol' note to break out of her funk and powers her way to the end. That was one heck of a fight. I think she won by split decision but it was close.

The Final Score: 8 digs at Paula, only 2 at Simon, 1 at Randy, but 6 digs at Ryan and 5 at the Idol audience, mostly referring to Simon. 1 reference to Kelly Clarkson, 1 reference to Carrie Underwood, 1 reference to Melinda Doolittle, and that’s it for the former Idol contestants. 3 references to the contestant’s health (Carly and Kristy are better, but Asia’h now has the bug, which of course was used to judge all 3 of their performances), 1 reference to a blues legend, 2 references to Britney (which will likely continue as long as Kady Malloy is on the show), but Ryan didn’t say anything about the talent level. Everything was pretty bland tonight, the singing, the mindless bantering, my witty barbs. Even Paula and Simon seemed to be mailing it in.

Your Three Stars of the Night: Carly Smithson was probably the only one tonight that didn’t run into some kind of bump in the road. Ramiele Malubay was better than the judges thought she was. The judges thought Brooke White was better than I thought she was. The star guys were much better this week.

Idol Looks Back: I start out 2-0 with the girls. Amy Davis was a no brainer. Too bad she didn’t stay long enough for her Maxim pictorial to become an issue. I was sad to see Joanne Borgella go because she seems like a sweet girl with a pretty face, but sadly it really wasn’t meant to be.

The Fearless Prediction: It’s a really tough call since everyone did about the same. Kristy Lee Cook needed a good performance to stay in and, while it wasn’t bad, it was probably not good enough. I hate to vote against the hot chick but after two so-so performances Kady Malloy may be in trouble, but for now she stays in. I hate to vote against Amanda Overmyer too but for very, very different reasons, so rather than put myself into a complex I’ll select Alexandréa Lushington to be the second departing contestant, more by default than anything else.

Posing for Authenticity

The opening sequence is accompanied by an unusually loud audience today, including lots of little girl screams for David Archuleta. Ryan starts it out straight and then starts teasing Simon again. Pun semi intended.

Last week everyone sang 60’s tunes. Tonight we progress up the musical chain as everyone will be singing songs from the 70’s. Let’s see how many of the 20 songs I’ll be able to recognize. When they get to 90’s songs they better announce the song titles or I will be completely lost. Each of the contestants also reveal their most surprising secret before they sing. I can hardly wait.

Michael Johns, “Go Your Own Way”: Instead of revealing that he abandoned his band right after they signed a recording contract, he instead tells us that he’s a tennis player, a good one according to him of course. He starts out a little out of pitch. I’m not sure if he’s singing it in a different key or what exactly is going on, but he seems off his game for some reason. Maybe it’s the song selection. He’s really struggling with the pitch, more than we have ever heard him do thus far. Paula of course lauds him for his consistency. Randy and Simon both agree that it was his weakest performance. Simon agrees with me and gets booed by the audience and trashed by Paula. I am still pleased, though, because we've finally seen a chink in the armor of this poser.

Jason Castro, “I Just Want to Be Your Everything”: He really hates doing interviews apparently. Now we know why we didn’t see him during the auditions. I get the impression that he is a really quiet guy. He's got that quiet look, if there is such a thing. He’s back with the guitar again doing an Andy Gibb number. I thought it was pretty good, really smooth and clean and in tune. Randy trashes his vocals because “it is a singing competition.” Yeah right. Don’t get me started on that, Dawg. Paula actually gives constructive advice for a change. Simon trashes the song choice because it didn’t have enough pizzazz. It was an Andy Gibb song for Christ sakes, what do you expect?

Luke Menard, “Killer Queen”: He’s part of an all dude a capella group that’s traveled the world for the last 6 years. In the clip he is singing way off tune. If you can’t sing in tune even when you’re being paid to there’s not much hope for this guy. You would think that a guy with a high pitched voice would do well with a Freddie Mercury vocal but I don’t know about this one. His vocal was still pretty weak, though perhaps better than last week. Randy liked that he was a little theatrical. Simon hated it for the same reason. Paula thought it was a “great week for you.” Why, Paula, why? Was it because you fought to get Luke in the Top 24 as you so eloquently revealed to us? Are you hoping to sleep with him or something? Would you feel the same way if you found out that he is gay? He has been in an all boy band for 6 years, aren’t you a little suspicious? Especially after Ryan calls him Dawson Creek, one of those gay code words your dancer friends told you about?

Robbie Carrico, “Hot Blooded”: Ryan brings up the authenticity question in the Coca-Cola red room, of course using Simon as an excuse. To try and boost his authenticity Carrico tells us that he’s a drag racer, just like my Dad was when he was Carrico’s age. I don’t think Pop was in a boy band though. 5 notes into the Foreigner tune and it’s all clear to me now, he’s a poser. He sounds like Justin Timberlake trying to sing a Foreigner song. That’s so unauthentic on multiple levels. Still, it was in tune and on pitch, so it wasn’t all bad. All three judges latch on to the authenticity theme, even Paula, though she did so in her usual indirect style and right after criticizing Randy and Simon for questioning Carrico’s authenticity.

Danny Noriega, “Superstar”: Danny was a punk rocker and had a girl friend who was the drummer. I’m not sure which one surprises me more. He starts far away from the pitch and struggles to find it for the rest of the song. I’m trying to remember who first recorded this song because his performance isn’t keeping my attention. Randy urges Noriega to loosen up when he sings, which Danny listens to obediently without even half a snap. How much you want to bet Danny comes out with a Sanjaya Mohawk next week? I think Randy has told every contestant so far tonight to loosen up. Maybe he needs to get a copy of the book of witty criticisms that Simon is writing. Paula agrees with Randy and then identifies that it was a Carpenters song. Thanks Paula. I take back all those questions about your authenticity. Simon is actually somewhat complementary. Noriega is too stunned to snap back.

David Hernandez, “Papa Was a Rolling Stone”: He was a gymnast as a kid, eliciting screeches from a couple girls in the crowd who apparently share his childhood passion for cartwheels. Another interesting song choice, though he hasn’t monkeyed around with the arrangement as much this time. There’s only so much one should do with the classics. It’s a decent vocal, but to be honest it sounds like he’s singing in a musical. There might be a touring company of Grease out there that would love to have him. Still, it’s the best of the night so far. Simon has a mea culpa and admits that he now likes him.

Jason Yeager, “Long Train Runnin’”: This dude prevented me from entering this week with a perfect record. Judge for yourself if I’m bitter about this. There’s a fascinating video of a country music show here that features Yeager. Try to guess which one is him. I don’t think he’s the guy in drag but you never know, it is Branson after all. Jason tells us that he is a self-taught player of the piano, guitar, and drums. This guy is a regular Mozart. He’s singing one of my favorite songs so he better not screw it up. Unlike the original Doobie Brothers version you can understand all the words though he avoids the section that Tom Johnston really slurs through. Despite navigating around the nasty bridge, it’s clear that this is not the best song choice for him. It’s a really gritty song and he sang it like a lounge singer. Or like Justin Timberlake maybe. Paula’s having a tough time finding words to criticize him. Simon looks like he’s in pain, and not just because he thought the performance was bad or because of Paula's inability to say anything critical. It’s almost as if he sympathizes with poor Jason. The audience, of course, has no sympathy for Simon. The jeers from the audience that come up every time Simon criticizes someone are really getting annoying. Jason claims that he’s “all about” the soul of the song, but honestly I didn’t hear that at all. I don’t understand it either.

Chikezie Eeze, “I Believe to My Soul”: We finally learn a useful secret, the origin of his name. Chikezie is a Nigerian word that means “something well created by God.” Ryan said beforehand that it was a Donny Hathaway song but I don’t recognize it. Bet you Paula does though. Unlike last week he starts this one strong and it never lets up. Gosh, this was a million times better than last week and the best of the night so far by a mile. It was the first goosebump song from the guys this year. Old school soul is clearly his strong suit. Chikezie and Simon get into a tête-à-tête about each other’s fashion sense for the second straight week that gets so personal that it scares Chikezie’s mom.

David Cook, “All Right Now”: The rocker is a “word nerd,” “a geek for vocab.” That confirms it, he’s a poser too. Betcha Chris Daughtry doesn’t do crossword puzzles. Cook breaks out the electric guitar to do Stanford’s fight song. Last week I thought Cook had lost his rocker, he seems to have found him this week. Maybe it was hiding in his guitar. He was the only rocker tonight who actually sounded like one, but he’s still a poser until he proves me otherwise. Like Chikezie he too was much, much better than last week. Simon can’t seem to get passed the word thing, though, claiming that the video showed that Cook lacks charisma. Cook challenges Simon’s credibility as a judge (only the umpteenth millionth contestant to do this) and then retreats like the poser that he is. The audience of course loves the challenge. Paula tries to defend Cook by claiming that “women like smart men.” If only that were true, my dear Paula. From the way she said that it, though, it sounded like Paula didn’t quite believe it either. Wasn’t she married to Emilio Estevez once? Yeah, now there's a guy with an off the chart IQ...

David Archuleta, “Imagine”: The mere mention of his name by Ryan elicits screeches from the audience. Oh dear God, we’ve got another Blake Lewis on our hands. I guess it’s better than another Sanjaya. How long before Paula predicts that he’ll be in the Final Two? Archuleta’s secret is that he got to meet the contestants on the first season of Idol. I hate to break it to you kid, we already know your dirty little secret thanks to the Idol producers. The kid’s got guts for trying this song, and doing it as an acoustic ballad no less. He’s got the pipes and he’s showing them off well here. Man that was good, no wonder the girls are screeching. Make that two goosebump songs tonight. Randy claims it was one of the best vocals he’s ever heard on the show and David almost collapses in shock. Paula is equally blown away. Even Simon was impressed and declares David is the one to beat. After that performance I would tend to agree. He might actually make it to the Final Two.

The Final Score: 9 digs at Paula, 3 at Simon, 2 at Randy, 3 at Ryan and 1 at the Idol producers. 1 Chris Daughtry reference, no Kelly Clarkson reference (though she was featured in Archuleta’s secret video), 3 other references to former Idol contestants, 2 references to Britney Spears' ex, 1 reference to Paula Abdul's ex, yet another reference to my Dad, 1 song that I had to look up on Wikipedia, and one final reference to Leif Garrett. Garrett, we hardly knew ya.

The 3 Stars of the Night: They saved the best for last. David Archuleta, Chikezie Eeze, and David Hernandez were the best of the night, with David Cook close behind. The rest were miles behind. It was like there were two different shows tonight. The first half of the show sucked, the second half rocked with one notable exception.

Idol Looks Back: I was 1 for 2 on the dude’s side; I correctly predicted Ellen look-alike Colton Berry was a goner but I thought Garrett Haley’s resemblance to Leif Garrett would keep him around another week. Once again I learn that I am apparently older than the average Idol viewer, who likely has no idea who Leif Garrett is. You could say worse things about America’s youth.

The Fearless Prediction: Jason Yeager stood out like a sore thumb and not just because of the blonde patch in his hair. Everyone around him sang so much better, and it’s not like he has a lot of strong performances to fall back on. He’s gotta be a goner now. I can’t be wrong two weeks in a row. I suspect Robbie Carrico will be joining him. David Cook out rocked him and Michael Johns out posed him so he’s the odd rocker out. I bet though that Amanda Overmyer can kick all their asses.

Rockin’ Pneumonia and the Boogie Woogie Flu

Ryan begins the program by inviting us all to play judge. I swear he’s reading this blog (hey Ryan, how you doing? My Dad thinks you poisoned Dick Clark to steal his New Years Eve show by the way). Of course Ryan has to promote the talent in this year’s competition, and so he proclaims for the umpteenth time that this is “the best Top 24 in Idol history.” He then starts making excuses by saying that many of the girls have been hit with the flu. I wonder why he didn’t say this last night before the guys sang.

Paula is looking better than last night. Simon is looking the same as last night. Randy still can’t stop talking about dogs. For some reason Ryan finds it strange that Simon likes it when the contestants fight back to his criticisms and asks Simon what universe he lives in. Paula thinks it’s the black hole. I would have guessed Sanjaya.

Kristy Lee Cook, “Rescue Me”: We hear about the horses but not the MMA hobby. I suspect an image make-over here, which apparently has carried over to her appearance as well. This may be the first time we’ve seen her in make-up, and I must say it’s working. Her vocals are flat and a bit pitchy. I’m not sure if it’s the nerves or what. After calling Kristy "Dude", Randy agrees with me and gets boos from the audience, presumably for the comments and not the gender thing. “It’s OK, though,” Paula reassures us, and gets cheers from the audience. Simon was critical of course but was actually softer than he could have been. Of course it still gets jeers. Then we get bombarded with excuses about how sick she was. I doubt the flu caused her to make that song choice though.

JoAnne Borgella, “I Say a Little Prayer for You”: The last of the 12 girls to get in. She slowed it down from the original, which is good because it’s a very technical vocal that would have likely buried her if she tried it straight. I think she did alright. It's a little pitchy at the beginning but less so at the end. Randy and Paula are lukewarm. Simon, take a guess. He hated the song and the singing, so much so that it almost brings JoAnne to tears. He was much more critical of JoAnne than he was to Kristy, even though she sang better. Maybe it’s because Kristy is a skinny blonde and JoAnne is not.

“Thank goodness I’m here,” Paula declares and I agree, otherwise I would have nothing else to write about.

Alaina Whitaker, “More Today than Yesterday”: The youngest contestant this year, even younger than that kid David Archuleta. I hadn’t noticed until now how much she resembles Carrie Underwood. There must be an overactive clone machine somewhere in Oklahoma churning out all these blonde country singers. Perhaps a date with Tony Romo is in her future. She starts the song as a ballad and I fear the worst, then she picks up the tempo to the pace we all know and love. This seems to be a popular trend since a number of dudes last night did the same thing. Chekezie Eeze, who sang the same song, wasn’t one of them though but he’s probably regretting it now. Toss out the sappy ballad at the beginning and it was a great performance. Paula thinks Diana Ross sang this song and I want to throw something at the screen. I was Spiral Starecase who originally recorded this song you wacky woman. Oh, she does know who sang this song. One of the producers must have been screaming at her too.

Amanda Overmyer, “Baby Please Don’t Go”: She promised not to sing Janis Joplin any more. I think all the other girls except her should take that vow. What an interesting song choice. Totally anti-Idol. This may be the first time a Yardbirds song has ever been performed on this show. I love it for how different it was. The scatting was a little off but the rest sounded good. I remember how Chris Daughtry blew everyone away on the first performance and this reminds me of that. Ryan thinks Amanda can whip Simon’s ass. I think Ryan is the one who should be worried. He and the semi-truck driver that crashed into her car. It’s hard to believe that she is 22 and a nurse. This performance seals it, she is my favorite.

Amy Davis, “Where the Boys Are”: The working class gal who is a trade show model. She don’t look like no redneck. Ohh, she starts off way off pitch. Half way through, it is not getting much better. What a difference from the performance before hers. Randy gets all technical and gets booed. Paula gets all positive and gets cheered. Simon gets only semi-critical and gets booed, though not as much as usual. No excuses though, since we don’t know if she has the flu or not.

Brooke White, “Happy Together”: The innocent nanny who looks and sounds like a co-worker of mine. She starts off acoustic though someone else is playing the guitar, then the band kicks in for a generally fine performance. It’s not bad, not great, but not bad, better than David Cook who sang it last night. That’s the second time a chick has out sung a dude on the same song. Randy urges her to “get her slaying on.” Unlike Paula, Randy can actually explain to Simon what he means. Simon, now known as Mr. Happy according to Randy, starts talking about washing liquid and then can’t explain what he means. Ryan attempts to get a clarification and just makes things worse. I cannot tell you how difficult it is to keep up with this jocularity.

Alexandréa Lushington, “Spinning Wheel”: She’s added another e, with an accent, since the auditions. She survived the do or die round in Hollywood. I had wondered if any of them made it this far. She looks like a completely different person since Hollywood. Not the best voice, it’s a bit pitchy, but she’s got lots of spirit and emotion in her performance. I’m mesmerized by her shaking shoulders. Not the best singing, but certainly one of the better performances. Simon hates it and almost causes Paula’s head to explode. His opinion of her improves after Alexandréa rags on Ryan for pronouncing her name “Alex-and-Andrea.”

Kady Malloy, “Groovy Kind of Love”: She’s a recording studio assistant, so does that make her a ringer? She’s the best looking girl in the competition, and I feel so dirty typing that since she’s only 18. She starts the song as a ballad but unlike so many others she keeps it there. It’s a little stiff but OK. Again she slurs half the words but she shows off a really good voice, better than Britney would have done it. All three judges push her to be lighter, but Simon goes the extra mile by comparing her to a pencil. He’s almost begging her to sing like Britney next time. She just stands there and pouts. Leave it to Paula to end this debate on a positive note by urging her to “just be you.” Kady’s clearly not a happy camper.

Asia’h Epperson, “Another Piece of My Heart”: The girl with the ‘tude who is singing for her dad. I’m surprised that it took 9 singers to get to a Janis song. It’s a totally different sound but she’s got Joplin’s spirit. It sounded pretty good. Nice vocal, nice voice, lots of emotion. One of the better performances of the night, and I’ve run out of things to say. The judges were all equally as brief and as complimentary.

Ramiele Malubay, “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me”: Let’s hope she doesn’t do yet another Aretha song. Nope, it’s Dusty Springfield instead. She shows off a lot more range than what we’ve heard so far, under control at first and then she belts it out at the end. Shows some good phrasing too. Simon thinks it’s the best singing performance of the night and I would agree. If she keeps singing like that she’ll get a lot more people besides Filipinos voting for her.

Syesha Mercado, “Tobacco Road”: She’s still smiling even under the pressure of the cameras. Let’s see if she still smiling at the end. She doesn’t have the flu so she has no excuse if she sings badly, especially after she survived Hollywood Week with laryngitis. Another interesting song choice. I would have pictured her as more of a ballad/soul singer and she goes rock/country. She shows off a very strong voice but it doesn’t really fit the song. I admire the chance she took though. Yes, she is still smiling after the judges all give her positive vibes. Simon thinks she got the package. Paula tries the “S-yes-ha” thing again but bails out when Syesha stops smiling.

Carly Smithson, "The Shadow of Your Smile": The dude ringer closed the show last night so of course the chick ringer closes things tonight. Oh my gosh, they actually let her admit that she once had a recording contract. OK, it took 24 singers but she’s singing a song that I cannot recognize and have to look up (it's a Tony Bennett song). She is doing it very well though. No doubt she has the pipes. Randy thinks it the best of all the 24, even though she has the flu. It was good but not that good, though she is the only one who actually coughed so I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Simon is disappointed. He was hoping for Kelly Clarkson or Fantasia and got something a little less. Interesting that he’s apparently not holding Michael Johns to that standard.

There is some time to kill at the end so we get some more babbling from Paula, more criticism from Simon, and Ryan deliberately neglects to thank Simon for the second straight night.

The Final Score: 9 digs at Paula, 7 digs at Simon, 7 digs at Ryan, and only 2 digs at Randy (I need to start working harder to develop riffs for The Dawg). 1 reference to Kelly Clarkson, 1 reference to Chris Daughtry, 3 references to other former Idol contestants, 1 reference to an NFL player, only 1 reference by Ryan to the talent level this year (though it seemed like much more), 4 references to male contestants, 1 reference to my old man, 2 names with accents, and 1 more poor attempt by Paula to sound clever. And out of 24 singers not one of them sang a Beatles song on 60’s night. There has to be some reason for this.

Your 3 Stars of the Night: I think as a group the chicks out sung the dudes. Among the girls the best were Ramiele Malubay, Alexandréa Lushington, and Asia’h Epperson. I know I’m limited to three but with your permission I would like to make it 4 and add Amanda Overmyer to this list. Heck, let’s go crazy and make it 5 by adding Alaina Whitaker.

The Fearless Prediction: The only one who really stood out on the not so good side was Amy Davis, so she’s probably a safe bet to go home. Kady Malloy got panned but I bet she has the high school and college boy vote locked up so she stays. Kristy Lee Cook’s makeover should keep her around a little longer. That leaves JoAnne Borgella. I would be said to see her go, because I do like her, but I suspect that she will.

Where The Boys Are

Thanks first to the Fox voice over guy for the title for tonight’s post.

I felt that with American Idol going to a new set that I should do the same as well. I also wanted to make this blog a little more Idol centric and less generic. I don't know, it seemed like a good idea at the time. One constant from last season is that I'm writing this while the show is airing so that I can go to bed at a reasonable time. Hope you don't mind the stream of consciousness style.

Paula’s looking a bit shaggy tonight and after Ryan asks her about the singers she spends more time talking about Randy and Simon. After criticizing Simon for delivering “standard” advice Ryan compliments the judges on their Top 24 selections. I get the feeling the producers have been pounding on Ryan all summer and fall to make sure he frequently mentions how talented this year’s contestants are.

We learn why clips from Idol are being pulled off of You Tube. Apple is selling them on iTunes instead. So if you want to see clips then you’ll need your iPod or a DVR. Sorry about that.

It looks like we have another format change, because for the first time the Top 24 show has a theme. Tonight is 60’s night, which is good news for me since it means I’ll be able to recognize the songs. This proved helpful since no one announced the song names. God help me if they do a 00’s night. You’ll be on your own if that happens. The bad news is that we may not get any groovy mentors from the 60's unless they repeat this time during the Top 12 shows. Now that is a shame.

David Hernandez, “In the Midnight Hour”: They show his initial audition and now I remember that we did in fact see him. Simon revealed on the Chair Show that he voted against David, so of course he wants to prove Simon wrong. David starts the song as if it were a gospel tune, earning him points for originality. His voice is OK, not really distinguishable, but like his version of “Love the One You’re With” during Hollywood Week the original arrangement is working for him. He was probably hurt by being the first guy out, but he does have potential, especially if he keeps pulling out these surprising arrangements.

Chekezie, “More Today than Yesterday”: He’s now doing the Fantasia thing by going by his first name only. I’m not sure why since his full name is so easy (no pun intended) to remember, and at this stage in the competition Chekezie Eeze needs all the name recognition that he can get. Nice voice but it sounded like a lounge act. The apricot (at least I think it’s apricot) colored suit didn’t help. Neither did the bland arrangement. The original version is much more of a vocal challenge and he might have been better off trying that instead of trying to contemporize it. Paula is nothing but complimentary. Simon is nothing but critical. Randy is nothing but in the middle. The usual judge infighting ensues. Yes kids, school is back in session. Chekezie chimes in but Ryan unusually stays out of it.

David Cook, “Happy Together”: We see his audition with the Mohawk haircut that he’s since ditched. He claims to thrive when under pressure. Well we shall see about that. He oddly starts the song as a ballad but mercifully switches to the more traditional up-tempo arrangement. What happened to the rocker? There are signs of him here but he seems to have been buried underneath a wanna-be pop artist. I think David would be more distinctive if he let the rocker out of hiding. Paula of course thinks exactly the opposite as me, and to think 15 years ago I had a crush on her. Still, it was better than the first two guys.

Jason Yeager, “Moon River”: One of the dudes that we heard nothing from on any of the audition shows. We find out that he is a “singing server” and we get to meet his son. He seems like a pretty ordinary guy, which may explain why we didn’t see him on the audition shows. Jason is the first guy to sing a song straight, and right away he has pitch problems. He probably should have tried to change the arrangement. Randy gives Jason some good advice. Paula and Simon of course don’t. Paula instead talks about how her first ballet recital was to that song. Simon whines about how old-fashioned his performance was.

Robbie Carrico, “One Is the Loneliest Number”: He speaks for the first time and reveals that he toured with Britney back when she was sane. Unlike David Cook he actually looks and sounds like a rocker. Not a lot of bottom in his voice but he’s more or less on pitch. Didn’t blow me away but it was alright. Paula thinks it’s “the perfect song for you,” which confuses me yet again. Simon is intrigued by the enigma he presents. Is Robbie a rocker or a popper? No, I didn't mean that kind of popper. You people have such dirty minds.

David Archuleta, “You Better Shop Around”: Clearly one of Randy’s favorites. He has a decent vocal range for a 17 year old. It’s a little on the lounge singer side but his voice is too good for a bar. David can’t believe that the judges complimented him. He was all set to here them trash him, well maybe not Paula. I get the feeling he’ll be going far in this competition, whether he knows it or not.

Danny Noriega, “Jailhouse Rock”: Unemployed at 18 but he still has something going on. I’m afraid to identify what. Last year he got cut at Hollywood Week. Maybe it was the lip ring that he had then. He’s clearly excited about this performance, so much so that he’s racing ahead of the band. Those guys are earning their money trying to keep up. He’s also shouting most of it. For once I agree with Paula, he should have picked another song that better showed off his singing voice. Then she goes on about seeing colors in his voice, which is where her, I, sanity, and soberity part ways. I don’t know, he reminds me of Sanjaya Malakar for some reason. Randy compliments him for “doing his own thing.” Now I know why he reminds me of Sanjaya. I haven't checked Vote for the Worst yet but I get the feeling he's in the running for their pick.

Luke Menard, “Everybody’s Talking at Me”: Another one unseen in the auditions. He apparently auditioned last year with an almost completely different look and was rejected. This year Luke has an actor face that should get him some votes, though I’m not sure which actor he reminds me of. He’s got a nice tone, and holds the last high note pretty steady, which is hard for an amateur. All three judges pan his performance. Paula talks about how much better his auditions were, which of course we didn’t see. Simon found it to be forgettable, and there is some truth to it. Given that this is the first time we’ve been allowed to see Luke this is not a good thing.

Colton Berry, “Suspicious Minds”: Colton was the last guy in the Top 24 and is not the Colton we saw at the Philly auditions. He thinks he looks like Ellen. Ryan can’t see it but now that he mentioned it I think Colton’s right. Hopefully he doesn’t sound like Ellen too. He showed some spirit but it was very pitchy. These kids don’t seem to realize how much of a range Elvis had and how difficult it is to match his vocals. Paula again plays up auditions that we never got to see. Doesn’t she watch this show? Simon and Ryan then get into a lengthy discussion about what a “recording artist” is supposed to sound like, which Ryan ends by insulting Simon’s haircut.

Garrett Haley, “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do”: Ryan brings up that we didn’t see him much at the auditions, and to try and comfort Garrett Ryan claims that it was the same with Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, but in Season 1 the producers didn’t know how much of a ratings bonanza the losers would be so it’s a whole different thing here. We’ll see if Paula talks about his auditions. Ryan, clearly now on a roll, brings up his resemblance to Leif Garrett. Is he reading my blog? Garrett auditioned during his vacation in San Diego. Most tourists go to the beach or the zoo instead (it is a really nice zoo, I recommend it). Garrett does the 70’s version of the song even though it’s 60’s night. I don’t know, he doesn’t seem to have the voice for ballads. He’s not hideous but it’s not all that great either. Perhaps he should try a Leif Garrett or Peter Frampton song instead. Simon claims Garrett looks like he hasn’t been outdoors in a month, sending Paula into yet another tizzy. Ryan seems to understand though. Funny, Ryan never tries to interpret Paula’s rantings.

Jason Castro, “What a Day for a Daydream”: Apparently a favorite of the judges though perhaps not the producers since we haven’t see him until now. David is the first to play an instrument, answering my question about whether or not this format change would continue. Good song choice for him, one of the better pairings of the night. It was pitchy in spots but his voice fit the song very well. Paula, with a tear in her eye, again reminds us of the auditions we never saw. He was the best of the unknowns tonight.

Michael Johns, “Light My Fire”: The ringer gets the coveted closer slot. He moved from L.A. to Georgia during the auditions I guess. His voice has a lot of passion and emotion, which is the only way anybody can do this song. He missed a couple of notes but he scored on the rest. The Rock and Roll Nurse is probably sitting in the audience thinking she needs to pick another song. I still don’t like him but he’s got too good a voice to pick against him.

The Final Score: A whopping 13 digs at Paula; she was a gold mine tonight to be sure. Only 3 digs at Simon, 2 at Randy, and 6 at Ryan. Mr. Seacrest is fair game now that they’re doing live shows. 2 digs at the Idol producers. 3 references to former Idol contestants, including 1 Kelly Clarkson reference (2 if you count the odd commercial for flavored water that she was in). No Chris Daughtry reference though, but with 4 rockers on the show they’re still time for that. 3 references to 70’s teen idols and 1 reference to a 90’s teen idol. And colors, lots of colors…

The Three Stars of the Night: Jason Castro, Robbie Carrico, and I hate to say it, Michael Johns. David Archuleta did well also.

Idol Looks Back: Will return next week to most of these same stations. Check your local listings.

The Fearless Prediction: It’s always hard to predict the results of the first show since I have so little to go on. No one really stood out as being awful, despite what Simon said, so I’ll look to the no names that didn’t get any face time during the auditions. There’s a wide variety to choose from since only Jason Castro from that group stood out. Jason Yeager was perhaps the most forgettable of the lot so I think he’ll be one of the two to go. Luke Menard and Garrett Haley didn’t do well but their looks may buy them another week, so I’ll go with Colton Berry as the second departure, though I’ll hedge my bets by saying that it wouldn’t surprise me if either of those other guys go.

Musical Chairs

Since there is no singing tonight we’ll say goodbye to the recap format and just give you the highlights and lowlights of this final broadcast before America Decides.

The show began with a promo for the new movie Slider, featuring Darth Vader (pre-mask) and Ryan doing some male bonding while pretending to be in Egypt. Young Skywalker popped up quite a bit on tonight’s show, including during a Serena Williams commercial for HP. The initial bit ends when Seacrest invites Christensen to his place to watch some home movies, but I guess Hayden doesn’t swing that way and he pops away. Now even the producers are getting in on the “Is Ryan gay?” gag.

Tonight’s show, just like last night’s, is billed to be from “Hollywood”, yet both the Hollywood Week auditions and tonight’s chair show are actually in Pasadena, about 15 miles or so away. Hollywood Week used to be in the Pantages Theater, which actually is in Hollywood, but I guess the Idol producers decided to make the locale change along with other revisions to the format. Either that or the Pantages kicked them out. Perhaps it’s no surprise that Ryan never bothered to mention where the auditions were really being held. The Tournament of Roses Parade folks would probably sue if Ryan were to use the term “Pasadena Week”.

Unlike most shows when it has been all Simon all the time, tonight Paula does most of the talking, and talking, and talking. She went on for what seemed like several minutes with one contestant before finally saying that she was through. Simon thought that Paula was torturing the contestants, and for the second time in two nights I find myself agreeing with him.

I don’t know which we heard more of, promos for the Slider movie or Ryan talking up the level of talent in this year’s competition. I think he’s trying too hard to make us all forget about the phenomenon known as Sanjaya Malakar. Good luck with that, buddy.

I noticed that no one featured in the Charleston auditions made it into the Top 24. The only one from Charleston who did make it is a guy who wasn’t shown in Charleston and was seen for only a few seconds during Hollywood Week, and as it turns out he was the last one into the finals. On the opposite side of the coin 7 out of the Top 24 came from the San Diego audition, the most from any of the 7 audition sites. I must say as a former San Diego resident I feel like puffing my chest out a little bit… Oww, that hurt.

So, without any more ado, here is your Season 7 Top 24 in order for how they were presented tonight:

Carly Smithson, 23, originally from Ireland and now living in San Diego (San Diego audition) – the “ringer” that the anti-Idol crowd hates. No surprise that she is in. Honestly, I find it hard to dislike this woman.

David Cook, 24, from Tulsa, Oklahoma (Omaha audition) – the bartender who studied Chris Daughtry videos before auditioning. He’s ditched the spiky hair for more of a messy mod look. Snappiest dresser of the night, with a grey suit and a pink tie.

Amanda Overmyer, 22, from Millbury, Indiana (Atlanta audition) – the rock and roll nurse who rides a Harley and survived a car accident. She has the most distinctive voice and look in the competition. There will be songs that only she can sing, but the teeny bopper crowd that put Blake Lewis into the final last year probably won’t care for her much. I must confess, though, that she is the one that I am rooting for.

David Archuleta, 16, from Murray, Utah (San Diego audition) – the Star Search winner who recovered from vocal paralysis to make it to Hollywood. He has the mature voice that blew Randy away and brought out Paula’s motherly instincts.

Kristy Lee Cook, 24, from Selma, Oregon (Philadelphia audition) – the girl who lives in a log cabin and wrestles in mixed martial arts competitions as a hobby. Every time we see her she has a new hair style.

Brooke White, 24, from Van Nuys, California (Philadelphia audition) – the nanny who has never seen an R-rated movie even though she’s been married for 3 years. She is an emotional wreck in the elevator going up but manages to survive the Chair even after Simon suggested that her singing career was over. She still reminds me of someone that I work with.

Danny Noriega, 17, from Azusa, California (San Diego audition) – the kid who auditioned last year and didn’t make it came back and is in the finals. He’s got a lot of potential.

Jason Castro, 20, from Rockwall, Texas (Dallas audition) – one of 5 finalists that we never saw or heard from until now. Since he’s from Texas I would assume he was a country singer, but his full head of dreadlocks might suggest otherwise. It’s rumored that he was once on a show on MTV.

Luke Menard, 29, from Crawfordsville, Indiana (Omaha audition) – another of the ones who made their first appearance on the Chair show.

Alexandra Lushington, 16, from Douglasville, Georgia (Atlanta audition) – she was the one who brought her 93 year old great-grandma to her audition. Great-grandma still has more accumulated screen time.

Ramiele Malabay, 19, from Miramar, Florida (Miami audition) – the little girl with the big voice and the built-in fan base. Everyone in the Philippines will be voting for her.

Michael Johns, 29, originally from Australia and now living in Los Angeles, California (San Diego audition) – he’s got a cocky cool thing going on as he saunters up to the Chair, befitting his reputation. He’s the other “ringer” that has got the whiners upset. He is a lot easier to dislike than Smithson is though.

Syesha Mercado, 20, from Miami, Florida (Miami audition) – she survived a father with a drug problem and losing her voice during Hollywood Week to make it into the finals, with a smile on her face the whole time. Paula confuses us all by breaking the news to Mercado this way: “What’s your name? S-yes-sha!”

Robbie Carrico, 25, from Melbourne, Florida (Miami audition) – the former boy bander who turned to the rock side. Simon and Randy shout out that they are on his side. Paula apparently voted no but then tries to deny it as Carrico walks away.

Garrett Haley, 17, from Elida, Ohio (San Diego audition) – another newcomer. All I can say about him is that he looks like Leif Garrett back when he was on the cover of teen magazines, long before Haley was born.

Kady Malloy, 18. from Houston, Texas (Dallas audition) – you knew this Jessica Alba look alike who could imitate Britney Spears and the lead singer of Rascal Flatts was going to make it to the Top 24 from the moment she stepped into the audition room.

Chekese Ezze, 22, from Inglewood, California (San Diego audition) – like Noriega he is a second time auditioner that was so good it makes me wonder why he was rejected before, especially since this year’s talent pool is supposed to be the best ever.

Amy Davis, 25, from Lowell, Indiana (Dallas audition) – she proclaimed to be from a working class background and promised Randy at her audition that she would work hard. I guess she did.

Alena Whitaker, 16, from Tulsa, Oklahoma (Dallas audition) – the country singer that was one of the throng of people that Simon thought was “not as good as you think you are.” I think she’s the only country singer in the Top 24 so she could go far.

Jason Yeager, 28, from Branson, Missouri (Dallas audition) – another unknown unseen or heard from until now. He had the best reaction of the night though, jumping for joy and shaking everyone’s hand. Being from Branson it’s possible that Whitaker may not be the only country singer in the Top 24.

Asia’h Epperson, 18, from Joplin, Missouri (Atlanta audition) – a small town girl with a raspy, sassy voice, she was the one whose father died as she was traveling to the audition. Her bravery got her this far, we’ll see where she goes from here.

David Hernandez, 24, from Glendale, Arizona (San Diego audition) – we didn’t see his audition but he was one of the stars of Hollywood/Pasadena Week with his original rendition of “Love the One Your With”. Simon reveals that he voted no. Hernandez was one of the few who learned that it was a split decision to send him though.

Colton Berry, 18, from Staunton, Virginia (Charleston audition) – he had about 5 seconds of screen time during Hollywood week but still beat out Kyle Ensley, the wanna-be politician from Oklahoma who had a roller coaster Hollywood Week and had about an hour of screen time. Simon reveals that he voted for Kyle and was upset that he didn’t make it to the Top 24.

Joanne Borgella, 25, from Hoboken, New Jersey (Philadelphia audition) – the plus size model with the Queen Latifah look and who sang the Anthem at MSG. She just beat out Cardin McKinney, the singing waitress from Nashville, for the last girl slot. Both of them look like they could make a living as a model.

Those sent home include Josiah Leming, the kid from Tennessee who lives in his car and sounded like he was from England; Drew Poppelreiter, the farm boy from Mississippi who sounded like Brett Favre and was ready to go turkey hunting after being told no; and a bunch of other people we never saw or heard of until their 5 seconds of TV time getting psychological advice from Paula.

Next week, we change sets and start judging!

Hurray for Hollywood

I had thought about taking it easy with the Hollywood Week recap. Judging from what usually happens on the episode I figured that there was no way I could keep track of who was singing what and when and with whom. However, the Idol producers decided to switch things up this year and completely revise the format for Hollywood Week. No group auditions and no groups locked in a room at the end. Instead we have instruments and lots of individual auditions, which makes it harder on the contestants but easier for me. So, off we go with the most intense Hollywood Week in Idol history, at least according to Ryan Seacrest.

So here’s the deal, this time there are three rounds of auditions. The first round features solo performances with the singers allowed to play their own instruments. Those that get a “yes” go past Round 2, collect $200, and move to Round 3. Those that get a “no” come back for Round 2, where the contestants take the stage in groups of 10 and sing a brief a capella number, no instruments, no piano, just the voice. Then the cuts are made. The survivors of Round 2 meet up with the yeses from Round 1 for one final round, this time with the American Idol band. The results are immediate yes or no, and we are left with 50 contestants for Randy, Paula, and Simon to bicker about at the end of the show.

First up is Brooke White, the innocent woman from the Philadelphia auditions that Simon wanted to deflower. She’s the first to perform while playing an instrument, in this case an organ (sorry, if it has to be plugged in it’s not a piano), and sings “Beautiful.” The judges look on adorningly until White misses a note, and then all we see are stone faces. Still, besides that one note she’s performs well and gets 3 yeses and a pass to Round 3.

Then we’re treated to a parade of no’s, including the annoying yet abstinent cheerleader Amy Flynn. We see 8 no’s in a row, all featuring Simon saying something creatively mean. Are Paula and Randy even in the building? The last no is Jake Mellema from Michigan, who plays the drums while singing “Hooked on a Feeling”. Though original, his performance was really pitchy. The song choice also left much to be desired. Even Paula, who usually likes sappy songs from the 70’s, was critical though in her own special way. “It was not my favorite,” she said. After a rant from Simon the drummer is sent away with 3 no’s.

David Hernandez, 24 from Jordin Sparks’ hometown of Glendale, Arizona, works out Steven Stills’ “Love the One Your With” without any instruments. He starts it off as a slow ballad and then takes it up tempo for the finish. His voice has a lot of character and he made the song his own. The judges agree and send him through.

Next is the Rock and Roll Nurse from the Atlanta auditions, Amanda Overmyer. Seems she got into a car accident just before the auditions and performed The Doors “Light My Fire” with 12 staples in her head and cracked ribs. Is there a better way to sing a Doors' song? I don't think so. She’s got a very distinctive voice with lots of passion; even though she slurs some of the words at least she sang them all. I can’t see her winning but she’s still pretty good and gets 3 yeses. The comparisons to Chris Daughtry are inevitable, indeed Paula did just that at the auditions, but she actually reminds me more of Taylor Hicks, another guy with a distinctive voice that nobody thought would win until he actually did. If she makes it to the Top 24 I’ll be rooting for her.

Even with all of the changes to the format there is still one constant to Hollywood Week, Simon warning the contestants not to forget the lyrics and then dismissing all the ones that do.

Ghaleb Emachah, the Latin lover from Venezuela with the Jewish sounding name, is back wooing the ladies again, especially fellow contestant and singing waitress Cardin McKinney. He sings Bryan Adams’ “I Do It for You” in monotone with an accent, which I didn’t think was possible. Paula’s still enthralled by his Latin charms though, until he botches the last note. Simon then invents a new description, calling it a “clear out” performance, comparing it to a waiter who sings so bad that it clears out the room. Maybe he really does write these things down beforehand. Emachah’s a no and that ends Day 1.

Day 2 begins with Josiah Leming, the kid from Tennessee who lives in his car. I wonder if he drove his home to Hollywood, but Ryan doesn’t say how he got there. He’s still got the British accent in his singing voice, and is now spotting a Beatles mop-top haircut to go with it. His performance is a bit over the top but he demonstrates a wide range. It was OK. The judges all love him though and give him a pass.

There are quick snippets of Danny Noriega, Ramiele Malabay, Carly Smithson, and Michael Johns, all four yeses. Though Smithson and Johns may be early favorites because of their professional experience, I’d watch out for Malabay. If she makes it to the Top 24 then every Filipino in America will be voting for her regardless of how well she does. Just ask Jasmine Trias. Malabay might even be a better singer than Trias too.

Tonight’s Medley of Semi-Losers (because at this stage of the competition they are all winners, just ask Paula) is Bryan Adams’ “I Do It for You”. In addition to Emachah, there were a whole host of contestants who sang this sappy 80’s song. The best of the lot was David Cook, the bartender from Tulsa who watched Chris Daughtry videos for pointers before auditioning. His green tongue was distracting and he shouted some parts but overall he did alright. Simon didn’t like it, though Cook and Ryan think it’s because of Cook’s hair. Randy and Paula were yeses though.

The final contestant of the opening round is Kyle Ensley, the geeky would-be politician from Oklahoma. He arrives at the hotel to find two girls in his room. He thinks that it’s a mix-up and meekly walks away, proving that he really doesn’t have what it takes to be a politician. He sings a spirited but sloppy rendition of “Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)” by Edison Lighthouse (yes, this is a song that I know well, unlike that Rascal Flatts stuff). Paula lauds his spirit several times but cannot bring herself to say no, leading Simon to leave the stage in disgust. I guess Randy said no but it’s almost as if he’s not there.

Day 3 is Do or Die Day. 48 got passes to Round 3, leaving 116 to sing for their supper, or if you believe Ryan for their very lives. The first group of 10 includes Suzanne Toon and Perrin Cataldo, the single parents from Florida and Arizona respectively. Both get their 15 seconds and even though I thought Cataldo was pretty good both of them are among those that are cut.

Another one cut was the annoying cheerleader Amy Catherine Flynn, who tried “Love Will Bring You Back”, a song that she had never heard before but sang at the recommendation of her vocal coach Angel. Angel, it seems, was a Season 4 auditioner but apparently didn’t make the cut that year, yet still Flynn admires her for her expertise. Those that can’t do, teach, which may be in Flynn’s future now that she’s going home.

Another group features Cristy Lee Cook, the mixed martial artist who lives in a log cabin in Oregon; Jeffrey Lampkin, the jolly guy from South Carolina who made it through with his less ebullient sister (little sis was ousted in an earlier group); and Angela Martin from Chicago, who auditioned for Idol to feed her sick daughter and now was singing for her father who passed away just before Hollywood Week. I must admit that I feel sorry for Martin, no joke, especially since she was sent home while Cook and, surprisingly, Lampkin moved on to the next round. Martin tries to convince the audience, and perhaps herself, that “it’s all good.” For her sake I sure hope so.

Ryan plays up the drama some more as we move to Day 4, when the first round winners meet up with the second round survivors for one more go. Yet another format change, as this time the American Idol band is brought in, complete with the back-up singers that Melinda Doolittle shared a mike with during her final performance last season. First up is 16 year old David Archuleta from Utah, the Star Search winner that got Randy going with “Waiting for the World to Change” at the San Diego auditions. He picks a Bryan Adams’ song this time, thankfully not “I Do It for You” but rather “Heaven”. You can hear the nerves in his voice but he’s sounded better than he did at the auditions when he was still recovering from vocal paralysis. His voice is 16 going on 40. Randy doesn’t sing back-up this time but he’s still all over it and votes yes along with Paula and Simon.

I guess Kyle Ensley got an answer from Paula and Randy because he’s back again, this time singing “You Raise Me Up”. This performance was 10 times better than “Love Grows”, so much so that it led Simon to actually apologize on camera for walking off the stage in a huff. Ensley is through to the Top 50 and didn’t even have to campaign for it.

Not so fortunate, though, was Jeffrey Lampkin and Joey Catelano, the guy from the Philly auditions that lost 200 pounds before the auditions and was the first auditioner featured this season. He’s managed to keep the weight off since the audition but a migraine headache does him in this time and he’s out along with Lampkin.

Also suffering from medical problems is Sayesha Mercado, the 20 year old from Miami whose father had just gotten out of rehab when she auditioned. She’s still all smiles even though she can barely talk. She comes out in a really short skirt and belts out another Aretha number, “Chain of Fools” (remember she did what she called “Think Freedom” at her audition). Like her audition she shouted at times but other times was OK. She does well under the circumstances and gets three yeses from the judges.

Michael Johns is back to sing Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Remember he’s the Aussie who ditched his band just as they were about to record their first album. He does have a really good voice, though at times he shouts it out like a big hair rock singer. Former boy band producer Simon loves it along with the other judges and he’s through.

Carly Smithson, the Irish lass who is the subject of all the Idol whiners because she once had a recording contract, comes back to sing Heart’s “Alone”. This to me was the best performance of the night. It’s the only one that I could imagine being on an album. She’s got a nice low range, kind of like Cher, but unlike Sonny Bono and Gregg Allman’s ex she’s got a good high range too. 3 easy yeses for her.

Asia’h Epperson, the 19 year old from Joplin, Missouri who has added an ‘h since her Atlanta audition but still has the ‘tude and the voice comes out and does pretty well herself. She was the one whose father died as she was traveling to Atlanta for the audition, and I wondered how she would do after some time had past since her dad’s death. She did pretty well from what I could tell, though I couldn’t catch it all because my DVR started acting funny at this point.

Brooke Helvie, Miss South Florida Fair, still has the look but not the voice, especially when she hits the falsetto part of “Unchained Melody” and shatters every glass window within a mile of the auditorium. Despite panning it as per his custom Simon still says yes, probably based on her look alone. Randy’s a no, leaving it up to Paula to decide. Well, you can probably guess what happened next. The pressure is on and Paula is cracking, and the pleading from the pageant queen is only making it worse. Finally, Paula says no, shattering both women to tears.

Josiah Leming, the last one to audition for Idol, is the last singer of Hollywood Week and he is an emotional wreck. It seems that he and the Idol Band cannot get on the same page, and even after working until 4 am Leming can’t seem to get them to perform the arrangement that is to his liking. He too has a vocal coach (how can a kid who lives in his car afford a vocal coach? Inquiring minds want to know) but that doesn’t seem to help. So he hits the stage after 2 hours of sleep and dismisses the band to sing “Stand by Me” without accompaniment. He’s giving it all he’s got but it’s not going well and the judges, even Paula, are not happy campers. Leming tries to argue that he was being brave by singing without the band and gets immediately shot down by Simon as being arrogant. For once I actually agree with the bloody bastard. Still, they all say yes. I wonder how he'll do from this point on because he'll have to deal with the band every single week.

The show ends as Hollywood Week usually does, with the three judges alone in the theater staring at Polaroids and bickering with each other as they decide on the Final 24. Since Polaroid recently announced that they were going to stop producing Polaroids I guess there’ll be yet another format change next year.

The Final Score: 7 digs at Paula, 6 at Simon, and only 2 at Randy, but that’s because he must have been out getting a hot dawg half the time. He definitely got the least amount of screen time. 3 Chris Daughtry references, 1 each of Taylor Hicks and Melinda Doolittle, and surprisingly no references, either by me or by the show, to Kelly Clarkson.

Your 3 Stars of the Night: I would have to go with Carly Smithson, who is quickly emerging as a possible favorite; the Rock and Roll Nurse Amanda Overmyer; and David Hernandez, who wasn’t even shown in the San Diego audition show, but then again I don’t recall Idol broadcasting Chris Daughtry’s audition either. Honorable mention to everyone who didn’t sing a Bryan Adams song.

Tomorrow is the Chair Show, when we find out who has made it to the Top 24. I rarely do recaps of results shows, except to review the accuracy of my Bottom 3 predictions, but I will still make sure to post the list of finalists and add my two cents in for this one. You’re on your own after that.

The Ex-Crew She Ate In

I am getting a late start to this because I wanted to see the end of the USA v. Mexico futbol match, so let’s see if I can get this posted before the clock strikes midnight.

So we have reached the final audition show for Season 7, the “best of the rest” as Ryan calls it. The “we need one more hour of Idol audition shows” show as Fox considers it. Maybe they should have another audition instead, but then there aren’t too many Southern cities left for Idol to go to.

First out of the chute is a quickie audition by 26 year old Luke Reeder from Hollywood, Florida. He’s singing a song that sounds familiar but I can’t quite figure out which one it is, mostly because he’s going into spasms and shouting incoherently as if he's become possessed by evil spirits. Simon thinks he’s mad, but at least he’s not acting like a stalker like some others did this year.

Then we get our first real singer, 25 year old Amy Davis from Lowell, Tennessee. She claims that she’s from a lower than lower middle class background, which usually bodes well for a contestant’s chances on Idol. She doesn’t disappoint, singing Linda Ronstadt’s “Blue Bayou” with a rich tone, good projection, and a bit of a working class edge to it. Randy’s digging the possibility in her voice, but only agrees to send her to Hollywood if she promises to work hard. No problem for a workin’ woman like her, so she’s off to Hollywood.

21 year old gospel choir singer Tiffany McCampbell from Anderson, Indiana proclaims that God has given her the singing voice. Randy’s all excited about that. Simon, though, heathen that he is, wonders why God “just decided to one day give it to you.” She shouts out “Hallelujah” but not the version you hear at Christmas. Simon wonders if God has a return policy. “If I was given that I’d give it back,” he advises McCampbell, who takes Simon’s witticisms without any resistance. God bless her.

After a parade of duos we get our only trio of Season 7, twins Corey and Chris Lane, 22 from Kernersville, North Carolina, and their friend Ashley Larring, 19 from (I hope) nearby Maiden, North Carolina. Seems a love triangle has developed between these three. Ashley first fell for Chris but now prefers Corey, though Chris still seems to pine for her. She is kinda pretty and came to the auditions in a short black dress so I can see why the guys are falling for her. Not much upstairs, it first appears, with any of them though. The twins are on first and do an original rap song about another pair of twins from another season. I couldn’t catch the name of the other twins but it doesn’t matter because Chris (I think) can’t remember the lyrics to his own song. So they get 3 no’s and in comes Ashley with a puppy. When Simon threatens to keep the dog (“Panda”) Larring tells Simon that he can have “whatever you want” in a classic Southern accent if she is put through to Hollywood. Since the last audition proved how much Simon values religion you can imagine the look on his face when he heard that. Ashley’s got a lot of Kellie Pickler in her and sure enough she sings Picker’s song “Red Heels”. She may have Pickler’s accent, attitude, and perhaps IQ but sadly not her voice. She wonders why Simon thought it was “ex-crew-she-ate-in” and asks “is it opposite day?” Opposite to what? In a surprising sign of brilliance the twins outside admit that Larring isn’t a good singer and that she only has her looks going for her. As the three leave the audition Larring thinks that the judges are “dumb, they don’t know talent," though apparently her boyfriends do.

We are then introduced to Carlin McKinney, a 20 years old waitress from Nashville. She looks about ten years older than she really is and sounds that way to. But I mean that as a compliment. She radiates a lot of maturity for a 20 year old. She keeps it Old School with “When I Don’t Leave” from Dreamgirls. It’s a little pitchy but she has a nice range. It’s all a little too mature for cradle robber Simon, but both Randy and Paula say yes.

After the break we meet plus size model JoAnne Borgella, 25, from Hoboken, New Jersey. She’s got a Queen Latifah look about her, and not just because she’s a plus size model. We hear that she sang The National Anthem at Madison Square Garden before a college basketball game, impressing both Randy and Paula. Maybe Paula was impressed because she’s never performed at the Garden. Oh, that’s right; she was a Laker Girl once so I guess that counts. Borgella sings “I Love You” by Celine Dion and it’s clear that the song is too big for her voice. She’s got a good tone, though, and she has a very pretty face. Simon says no with no explanation. Some might say it’s because Borgella isn’t thin and blonde but he’s been passing on a lot of them this year so I don’t know. Randy and Paula say yes, though, and she’s through to the next round. I kind of like her.

Next comes a thin blonde, 19 year old Alesha Stezel from Ontario, California. She too tries a Celine Dion song, “Surrender”, and to me she sounds a lot like Gwen Stefani. Randy and Paula, though, think she sounds more like Dolly Parton. Simon doesn’t believe it, but maybe because Stezel is thin and blonde Simon says she can try again if she can learn a Dolly Parton song. Neither Stezel nor her mother, who honestly looks a little like Dolly Parton, know any of Dolly’s songs. Ryan tries to teach her “9 to 5” but it’s not sinking in. Must be his delivery. She canvasses the crowd and the Internet and comes back with “Islands in the Stream.” It is a little better. Simon decides to bale out of this one and instead let’s Randy and Paula decide. They both say yes and she gets an unexpected gold ticket to “Dollywood”. After Stezel leaves Simon admits that Paula was right, she did sound like Dolly Parton. Paula’s so overjoyed that Simon admitted he was wrong that she hugs Simon and sits on his lap. For a moment it looked like she would give Simon a full lip lock, but she settles for high-fiveing Randy instead. Simon then goes on to admit that he was disappointed with how that turned out because he was convinced that it would suck and he could make a scene criticizing Stezel, Randy, Paula, Ryan, Dolly, and everyone else.

After a stripper and a cusser we have 25 year old Joshua Moreland from West Palm Beach, Florida, who goes by the stage name “Sjay Smove”. It’s original, I’ll give him that. He claims to be an R&B recording artist but I have the feeling that he’s not a ringer. He tries to impress the ladies with his shimmering red hoodie and by doing pushups before his audition. The ladies sitting with him look unimpressed. He tries out his own song “Beautiful Lady” almost completely in falsetto. The judges, even Paula, are not impressed, even though he added a nice visual touch to his performance by gently tossing confetti while singing. Simon first asks Paula to sweep it up, and being a Modern Woman Paula blows him off. Simon then turns to the next one up the chain of masculinity, Ryan, to come in and do it, but before Ryan can get a broom a young female stage hand comes in to do the sweeping. Simon now comes over and accuses Ryan of being patronizing and instead tries to sweep it up himself, only to fail miserably at the task. Turns out the only reason Simon got up was because the cameras were rolling. I guess he chose to take Vanity 101 in boarding school instead of Floor Sweeping.

More Simon after the break as we get a montage of him gripping, complaining, not knowing what city he’s in, and mangling contestant’s names. I noticed that there’s been no Randy montage so far this season, though Simon pretty much dominated Paula’s as well as his own.

A returnee from last season’s auditions, 22 year old Chekeze Ezze from Inglewood, California (former home of the Lakers) comes in and sings Luther Vandross’ “All the Woman I Need”. He sang it so well I wonder why he was turned down last season. Both he and the judges talk as if he auditioned in front of them last season, but I don’t know. Simon still doesn’t think he’s interesting. Randy watched the whole audition with a mean ol’ scowl on his face and then took a long time to make a decision, leading the audience to think that he would be rejected again, but Randy apparently said yes because Ezze came out with ticket in hand.

Danny Noriega, 17 years old from Azusa, CA, is billed as the last auditioner of 2007. He too is a returnee from last season and admits to the judges that he messed up then and was better now. He sings the Ike and Tina Turner version of “Proud Mary” and like Ezze I wonder why he was turned away last year. He gets 3 quick yeses and the last one in the room gets to go to Hollywood.

The show closes with a highlight package of the auditions, including only 5 seconds of Renaldo Lapuz singing “Brothers Forever”, and then we get a preview of the hell known as Hollywood week where apparently everybody yells at each other. Kind of like my job. (I’m just kidding, in case anyone I work with is reading this)

The Final Score: 163 total tickets to Hollywood. A whopping 7 digs at Simon, but only 2 at Randy, 2 at Paula, and 2 at Ryan. No Psychos of the Night or One to Feel Sorry For. And only 1 reference to a former Idol contestant. But then, it only took me an hour to write this. Can you say “phone it in?”

The Stars of The Night: I liked JoAnne Borgella the best, though she wasn’t the best singer. Amy Davis was pretty good. Both Chekese Ezze and Danny Noriega were good but one wonders given what happened last year if they can duplicate that again. Still they have potential.

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

American Idol pays its fourth visit to Atlanta in 7 seasons. One wonders if it's because it is Ryan Seacrest's hometown. Seriously, how much stroke does this guy have? It's also the 4th audition in the South this season. Let's see, they had one audition in the Northeast (Philadelphia), one in the Midwest (Omaha), one in the West (San Diego), and 4 in the South (Dallas, Charleston, Miami, and now Atlanta). Well now we know why there are so many Idol contestants from Dixieland. Among those who auditioned in Atlanta in the past include Clay Aiken, Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, and Season 3 winner Fantasia.

We are greeted by a young lad welcoming us to "E-lanta", which is either yet another annoying Atlanta nickname ("Hotlanta", "the ATL", you get the idea) or a new laxative. We're also greeted by Ryan's parents who thankfully don't talk about how great their little boy is but are seen to be very impressed by one dude's spinning wheel rim.

Our first auditioner is 26 year old Josh Jones from Atlanta. He has a "passion for glass" he tells us, though that passion appears to be only in cutting it. You would think someone with a "passion" would be into stained glass or prisms or something artsy. Go figure. He sings Queen's "Don’t Stop Me Now" with a menacing look in his eyes, so much so that it scares the judges. He's got a decent voice though, so the judges give him another chance by asking him to turn around and sing with his back to them. Simon makes his first Clay Aiken reference of the night, and then breaks out both "cabaret" and "karaoke" to describe Jones' performance. Simon is of course a no but Randy and Paula both say yes and he is off to Hollywood. Hopefully he'll buy some sunglasses while he's there.

After two chicks in firefighter garb welcome us to "Hotlanta" we meet J.P Tjelmeland from Auburn, Alabama. He had a brush with fame in Season 4 when he sat two seats away from Carrie Underwood at the auditions. He claims to have spoken to her a few times while they were waiting for their auditions and regrets not "keeping in touch". Betcha Carrie is on the phone right now trying to get a hold of him and renew acquaintances. He sings "Me and My Gang" by Rascal Flatts. Is it just me or are a lot of auditioners this season singing Rascal Flatts' songs? I don't think I've ever heard even one of their songs except on American Idol. Tjelmeland sings it in a high pitched monotone that Simon immediately criticizes. J.P. claims he's a music singing major in college, which blows Randy away. No from both guys, but Paula can't bring herself to say no even though her vote no longer counts. This leads us to a lengthy montage of Paula not being able to say no to the contestants, which actually is more of a feature about Simon pressuring Paula to make a decision than about Paula's reluctance to make one.

Next is Asia Aperson, 18 years old from Joplin, Missouri. She is tonight's One to Feel Sorry For, as her father died in a car accident while she was traveling to Atlanta for the audition. She sings "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes in tribute to her dad, which brings Paula to tears. And no, that's not a criticism of Paula, there's a line that even I won't cross. Aperson has got a lot of air in her voice but she sang it in tune. All three judges praise her for her bravery and vote yes for Hollywood. It'll be interesting to see how she does once she is several months removed from her father's death.

After a much needed break we get a parade of "Georgia Peaches", pretty much all long hair blondes. One of them, 18 year old University of Florida student Brooke Helvie, gets some additional screen time. She's been performing since the age of 4 and recently was crowned Miss South Florida Fair. Insert your own Cuban jokes here if you dare. She wants to prove that pageant girls can sing by doing "Who's Lovin' You" by the Jackson 5. Insert your own Michael Jackson joke here if you dare. Her voice is not great but decent. She gets three yeses from the judges and she rewards them with a loud squeal. Insert your own Mariah Carey joke here. After she leaves Simon claims that Helvie is "possibly the most annoying person I've ever met in my life." Even more so than American Junior Julie Dubela?

Tonight's Medley of Losers is "Glamorous" by Fergie. I've never heard that song before either, and even though I've heard very few Fergie songs I still correctly guessed that it was hers. Apparently I have a better ear for pop than I do for country. Simon comes up with possibly a better name for this segment than mine, "the American Nightmare."

Eva Miller, 26 from Atlanta, walks in with a lot of sass and attitude. After declaring her love for Simon (a popular theme this year) she tries Vanessa Carlton’s "A Thousand Miles" (another song I've never heard of). She starts dancing around, flaying her arms every which way, until she trips and falls on her number tag. She gets right back up and keeps on going, completely out of tune, until she's ordered to stop. Simon is convinced it's all a joke. "This is not no joke," Miller replies in all seriousness (and double negative). She's convinced that the judges were negative only because she fell down. In reality it was probably the only positive thing about her performance, at least Paula thought so when she complimented Miller for getting up and continuing on after she fell. This world needs more positive people like Paula. It's 3 no's, even from Paula, but Miller still loves Simon anyway even though Paula was the only one who said anything positive.

Alexandra Lushington, 16 from Douglasville, Georgia, brought her 93 year old great grandmother to her audition, and the great grandma ends up getting more screen time. I must say that Great-Grandma is looking pretty good for 93. Lushington starts "My Funny Valentine" kind of flat but it got better when she got to the chorus. She gets 3 quick yeses and a ticket to Hollywood. Ryan didn't say if Great-Grandma was going with her.

Much like the tribute Kelly Clarkson got at the Dallas auditions, it's all Clay Aiken all the time here in Atlanta with a parade of dorks who look like Clay but sound much worse. They also showed Aiken's audition from Season 2 and I couldn't believe how much he looked like a geek. I must say he's looking a lot more stylish now.

We next meet 16 year old too cool for school Nathan Hite from Savannah, Georgia. He trashes those "people" who come out of the auditions crying about how Simon can't judge talent because he's British and promises that he won't do the same. He belts out something resembling "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven, adding alternative rock to the genres with songs and bands that I'm not familiar with. Simon pulls out a new name for this one, "bedroom audition," as if it was someone in his bedroom singing along to a song. Hite is impressed by this and wonders if Simon has a written list of catchy phrases somewhere. He then earns Psycho of the Night status by bringing up Simon's boy band producing past as he leaves. I know, it's pretty weak but that was as close as anyone got tonight. I was tempted to award it to Eva Miller but she was more sad than psycho.

Time for the Chris Daughtry moment. Tonight's designated rocker is Amanda Overmyer, a 22 year old nurse from Millbury, Indiana who rides Harleys for fun. She's got a semi Goth look going with the dark makeup, all black clothes, chains, and two toned hair, though she's keeping it real but only using black and blonde hair color. Randy wonders if Overmyer dresses like this when she's working. She assures both Randy and her patients that she does not. Overmyer does a mean interpretation of Janis Joplin's "Mean Woman" (I think there's been about as many people singing Janis Joplin songs in these auditions as there's been those singing Rascal Flatts songs. At least I've heard of Janis Joplin). It's a bit over the top but it's gritty and earthy. It's 3 yeses for the "Rock and Roll Nurse" (Randy)/ "the Female Chris Daughtry" (Paula). I wonder how Overmyer will do if she makes it into the Top 24 because she's definitely not your typical American Idol popster. Then again, I seem to remember saying the same thing about Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks.

Our final Atlanta contestant is 18 year old Josiah Leming from Morristown, Tennessee. Leming has been living in his beat up Ford Taurus for the last 10 months after he dropped out of high school and ran away from home. Since Ford is a major sponsor of the show I wonder if they'll give Leming a new "home" if he makes it into the Top 12. It's not clear how he's making a living but he seems to have enough money to do laundry, judging by how full his clean clothes bag was (though his dirty clothes bag was bigger). He sings his own composition "To Run" and does an OK job of it, better than most contestants singing their own songs do. He's got a British accent in his singing voice, though, that both Simon and Randy (and I) pick up on. Simon loves it, Randy not so much. Simon challenges Leming to sing Scotland's Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" (make that 2 indie rock bands I've never heard of) and he does a better job with that than he does with his own song. Randy's still not thrilled by the British accent but says yes anyway, followed by yeses from Paula and Simon. Simon closes the audition by proclaiming that "the British are taking over." God Save The Queen.

The Final Score: 19 tickets to Hollywood, 4 digs each at Simon and Paula, 3 references to Clay Aiken, 2 to Chris Daughtry, 1 each to Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, 3 bad Atlanta nicknames, lots of long haired blondes, 3 jokes for you to finish on your own, and 4 songs from bands that I've never heard of. These auditions have been quite a musical education for me.

The Stars of the Night: No auditions blew me away but Asia Aperson, Brooke Helvie, Alexandra Lushington, Amanda Overmyer, and Josiah Leming all have potential and will be worth watching next week when they show the Hollywood auditions. I'm not looking forward to recapping that show.

Tomorrow it's the Best of the Rest, including an encore of Renaldo Lapuz's performance, my vote for best audition of the season. I still can't get that song out of my head.