To Sleep, Perchance to Dream - Ay, There's the Rub

Now that the confetti has been swept up, the red carpet rolled up, the winner fêted and the losers allowed to return home, let us step back into the wayback machine and review the season of American Idol just past.

I know, you can just look everything up in the archives, but I am going to save you the trouble but recapping it all here in this post. I have a special bonus at the end for those of you who have the courage and patience to make it that far (No, I’m not reposting “Brothers Forever” again).

The auditions this season were in Philadelphia, Dallas, Charleston, San Diego, Omaha, Miami, and Atlanta. San Diego produced the most Top 24 contestants, Charleston the least, but Omaha takes the top prize for bringing us Rocker Dude David Cook.

The Philadelphia auditions had the largest turnout of the 7. Brooke White and Kristy Lee Cook both came through these auditions, leading some to wonder if the same blond auditioned twice. We learned that Snow White had never seen an R-rated movie and Colt 45 trained horses and wrestled in cages in her spare time. Philadelphia also featured the possessed Alexis Cohen, Ben Haar (the guy wearing the Princess Leia bikini), Cristina Tolisano (the gal with the Princess Leia bagel hairdo), and James Lewis, the tour guide whose rendition of “Go Down Moses” invited comparisons to The Hulk and Frankenstein.

The Dallas auditions was all Kelly Clarkson all the time even though she didn't make an appearance. Top 24 finalists Alana Whitaker and eye candy/Britney imitator Kady Malloy came through this audition, as did fourth place finisher Jason Castro even though we didn't see him until the chair show. The highlight of the Dallas show, and perhaps the entire season, was Birdman Renaldo Lapuz and his tribute to Simon Cowell, “Brothers Forever”, a song that will live in Idol infamy along with William Hung’s “She Bangs”.

David Archuleta, Carly Smithson, Michael Johns, Chikezie Eeze, and David Hernandez all came through the San Diego auditions, as did Danny Noriega, who will probably enjoy the most successful and at the same time most notorious post-Idol career of any of this season’s contestants. The previous experience of Wonder Boy, Ringer Girl, and Poser Dude led to accusations that the producers were planting semi-professionals into the competition deliberately, a charge that haunted the show for the rest of the season.

The Charleston auditions went against the tradition of Idol winners coming from Dixie. Only Ellen DeGeneres look-alike Colton Berry made it from these auditions to the Top 24 and he was bounced after only 1 week. These auditions did feature 2 tons of fun Michelle and Jeffrey Lapkin; the proudly abstinent Amy Catherine Flynn; the attractive Air Force pilot Lindsey Goodman; Joshua Bosen, who claimed that the show was fake and rigged; and Oliver Hyman, who delayed his audition to see his wife give birth only to be rejected by the judges when he finally made it to the arena.

The Miami auditions brought us third place finisher Syesha Mercado, seventh place finisher Ramiele Malubay, and former Britney squeeze Robbie Carrico. Miami also featured Latin lover Ghaleb Emachah and teen prodigy Julie Dubela, who according to her virus tinged web site is a local legend in New England and could not believe that the judges would not give her a golden ticket.

Ryan’s hometown of Atlanta gave us The Rock and Roll Nurse Amanda Overmyer and two chicks who both had apostrophes in their names, had interesting family members, and just missed out on the Top 12: Alexandréa Lushington, who competed against Wonder Boy on Star Search and brought her 93 year old great-grandma to the audition; and Asia’h Epperson, whose father died as she was traveling to Atlanta for the audition. Atlanta also featured Miss South Florida Brooke Helvie and Josiah Leming, who lived in his car and became the star of Hollywood Week before being bounced from the competition.

Hollywood Week threw everyone for a loop. No groups of three, no common songs, no contestants locked together in a room waiting for the judges to give them the results. Instead it was an initial triage round, a do-or-die chorus line second round, and a final go or go home third round. It was here that the contestants were allowed to play instruments for the first time. Brooke White, Amanda Overmyer, and Josiah Leming were among the stars of Round One, along with David Hernandez, who stood out for the first time with “Love the One You’re With.” David Cook led a parade of contestants who sang Bryan Adams’ “I Do It for You.” Simon wanted to send Rocker Dude to the second round but was overruled by Randy and Paula, who gave him a pass to Round Three. 116 contestants out of the 164 who came to Hollywood ended up in the second round, where they stood on stage 10 at a time and were only given a few seconds to sing before being sentenced. From this group only Kristy Lee Cook made it to the Top 12. Round 3 featured David Archuleta acing Bryan Adams’ “Heaven”, a laryngitis stricken Syesha Mercado still managing to sing “Chain of Fools”, and Carly Smithson belting out Celine Dion’s “How Do I Get You Alone.” The highlight of the show, though, was Josiah Leming's meltdown. He couldn't get the Idol band to perform “Stand by Me” to the arrangement that he wanted to use, so he dismissed them and sang the song a-capella in front of the judges who promptly blasted him for his arrogance. Yes, even Paula.

It was at the chair show that we saw Jason Castro and Luke Menard for the first time. Neither of the final finalists, JoAnne Borgella or Colton Berry, made it past the next round. Randy almost caused Brooke White to have a heart attack by hinting that she was getting dismissed before telling her she was in the Top 24. Josiah Leming almost did have a heart attack after being told he was out. Paula asked Amanda Overmyer “is this the right place for you?” before saying she was in, then told Syesha Mercado that her fate was in her name, S-yes-ha. Totally unnoticed at the time was Simon’s word of advice for David Archuleta, “you need to spend more time with those below 18 to prep you for all the attention,” which in retrospect may be one of the quotes of the season.

Top 24 Week: The producers added another new wrinkle, theme weeks during the semis. This week was 60’s week and the contestants were given about 10 songs from the 60’s to choose from. Jason Castro showed off his quiet style for the first time. Ramiele Malubay stood out among the ladies. Half the chicks were stricken with the flu, or at least that was the excuse given for their performances. Brooke White and David Cook both sang “Happy Together” and Snow White sang it better than the eventual winner. Simon argued with Chikezie Eeze about clothing, got snapped at by Danny Noriega, and called Kady Malloy a pencil. All in a day’s work for Captain Jack Sparrow. Paula revealed that her first ballet recital was to “Moon River”. Colton Berry, Garrett Haley, Maxim model Amy Davis and JoAnne Borgella were all eliminated.

Top 20 Week: 70’s week was the theme and Wonder Boy was the star. David Archuleta sent the girls screaming with “Imagine” and established himself as the one to beat. Amanda Overmyer's Bride of Frankenstein hairdo scared small children. David Cook revealed that he is a “word nerd”, leading Simon to claim that he lacked charisma. Simon called Chikezie “Jacuzzi”, questioned Robbie Carrico's authenticity, and thought Brooke sang “You’re So Vain” as a tribute to him. Jason Yeager (we hardly knew ye), the un-authentic Robbie Carrico, Alexandréa Lushington, and Alana Whitaker were eliminated.

Top 16 Week: Songs from the 80’s began with Paula apologizing for popularizing the puffy hair-dos of the era and ended with Drunk Chick describing the dude’s performances in two words: “phe” and “nominal”, and to think at the time we all thought this would be Paula’s biggest brain cramp of the season. David Cook and Jason Castro established themselves with “Hello” and “Hallelujah” respectively. Ramiele Malubay and Danny Noriega subtly revealed their relationship, as she put purple highlights in her hair and he wore her glasses. Randy called Simon Mr. Happy and proceeded to beat that dead horse for 3 more shows. Simon predicted that David Archuleta would be in the final 2 and that Kristy Lee Cook would finish tenth. At least he got one right, though that seems rather suspicious to me. Eye candies Luke Menard and Kady Malloy were eliminated along with Asia’h Epperson and Danny Noriega, sending Ramiele into a nervous breakdown and putting the pressure on Amanda to make the Top 12 interesting.

Top 12 Week, “Songs from the Lennon/McCartney Songbook”: The benefit for Michael Jackson featured Chikezie turning “She’s A Woman” into a James Brown number, Carly Smithson turning “Come Together” into a Joan Jett number, David Cook turning “Eleanor Rigby” into a Chris Daughtry number, and Kristy Lee Cook turning “Eight Days A Week” into a Hee Haw number. Brooke was the only one to do a song straight, but her version of “Let It Be” put me to sleep. David Archuleta blew the lyrics for “We Can Work It Out” but The Dawg and Drunk Chick still loved him. Simon complimented Carly for the first time and told Cook that he might actually win if Idol were a talent competition. Before the show it was revealed by Vote for the Worst.com that David Hernandez worked as a stripper in an Atlanta nightclub and that, perhaps more than anything else, was why he was sent home. Syesha Mercado and Kristy Lee Cook joined him in the bottom 3, something both chicks would get used to as the finals wore on.

Top 11 Week, “Songs from The Beatles”: Since the Idol producers no doubt had to pay top dollar to Wacko Jacko for the singing rights we were subjected to a second week of Beatles music and it was not pretty. Syesha was the only one to do well, singing “Yesterday”. David Archuleta remembered all the words of “The Long and Winding Road” and Paula praised him for overcoming adversity. Captain Jack claimed that “Blackbird” was originally going to be called “Sparrow”, which gave me the inspiration for his nickname, and then criticized Carly for choosing that song. Ringer Girl’s rebuttal was that she saw herself as a broken bird. Jason learned French to sing “Michelle” and barely made it through the song before busting up in laughter. Drunk Chick brought down the house when she told Michael that he sounded better in rehearsal (hmmm…) and postulated that the reason his performance was off was because of the reverb in his earpiece, only for Poser Mate to reveal that he wasn't wearing an earpiece. Little did we know. Amanda was sent home and I worried that the rest of the season would be boring, one fearless prediction I actually got right. Kristy was back in the bottom 3, joined by a surprised, scared, and wounded Carly.

Top 10 Week, “Songs from Their Birth Year”: Everybody but Michael sang ballads and I had a hard time staying awake for the full 2 hours. Kristy Lee appealed to the patriotism of the audience and all but guaranteed a successful career in country music by singing “God Bless the USA”, the smartest song choice of the competition. Brooke did the first of her two stop and start overs with “Every Breath You Take”. David Cook did the rock version of “Billie Jean” and, unlike Daughtry, admitted that he used someone else’s arrangement. Simon questioned whether or not David Archuleta chose “You’re The Voice” and everyone wondered why. As I write this recap it occurs to me how many hidden messages there were in Captain Jack’s comments this season, especially the ones that he said to Wonder Boy. Chikezie listened to the advice of the Idol singing coach and got himself booted from the show. Syesha and Jason sat with Cheeky on the cold, hard stools reserved for the bottom 3.

Top 9 Week, “Songs by Dolly Parton”: Dolly Parton was the first mentor to appear on the show this season and I didn't make a single chest joke because that is so 80’s. Michael had his best performance of the season with “It’s So Wrong but It’s So Right“ and we found out he is a closet Dolly fan. Kristy Lee thought Ryan was hitting up on her when in fact Trained Seal was introducing Syesha. Yes In Her Name found a Dolly song that Whitney Houston did (“I Will Always Love You”) so of course that’s the one she sang. David Cook sang “Little Sparrow” and got Simon to rant about the little birds again. Paula went off on a lengthy rant about how critical both Randy and Simon were towards Carly. Ramiele was the only contestant shorter than Dolly and was so scared to sing in front of her and the rest of America that she was sent home. Kristy Lee made a return to the stools along with Brooke.

Top 8 Week, “Idol Gives Back/Inspirational Songs”: 8 performances of supposedly inspirational songs and not once was anyone inspired. Instead if you read my recap you would see that I was pissed instead. So was Randy, who argued with both Michael and Syesha about their song choices. Jason went Hawaiian with “Somewhere over the Rainbow” and drew raves. On the flip side Carly sang “The Show Must Go On” with an angry look on her face and got called out on it by Simon: “it came over… quite strangely, as an angry performance, which kind of felt out of kilter with the evening.” Indeed Captain Jack was on something of a roll this night, saying that Poser Mate was posing as a rock star, Yes In Her Name was hiding her true self, David Cook was pompous, David Archuleta was nasally, and Brooke was just pleasant. Paula just talked about her Chihuahuas. Michael thought “Dream On” was inspirational and was booted from the show after Ryan hinted that no one was being sent home. Ringer Girl was stunned, apparently thinking she was the one going home. Syesha joined the two ringers in the bottom three.

Top 7 Week, “Songs by Mariah Carey”: Finally there was a mentor that I could make fun of, though I was too distracted by the Sharks playoff game to pay too much attention to what Mariah was saying. David Cook was best of the night by a mile by taking “Always Be My Baby” outside the box and served notice that David Archuleta wasn't the shoo-in to win that we all first thought. Jason pulled off a miracle just be surviving. Syesha showed off her vocal chords by doing scales to the melody of “Vanishing”. Simon thought Brooke’s performance of “Hero” was like eating a hamburger without the meat, segueing into an endless argument amongst the judges about where the condiments were. A similar discussion took place after Randy thought Quiet Man’s performance was like being at a luau. Kristy’s amazing high wire act came to end on this night, ironically the same week that Sanjaya Malakar was eliminated last year. Syesha and Brooke joined her in the bottom 3, continuing the chicks’ dominance in that category.

Top 6 Week, “Songs by Andrew Lloyd Weber”: I couldn't criticize Weber’s comments very much because they were so good. He was the first to point out David Archuleta’s tendency to sing with his eyes closed. He also couldn't picture Jason singing a song he wrote for a singing cat and accused Brooke of not having a clue of what she was singing about when she performed “You Must Love Me”. Speaking of Snow White, this was the week that she stopped mid lyric and restarted the song, drawing an actual scolding from Paula. It took Drunk Chick about 5 minutes to work up the courage to say it though. David Cook revealed his hidden skills at musical theater with “Music of the Night”. Both Randy and Simon recommended Syesha go into musical theater after her performance of “One Rock And Roll Too Many” even though she ended up in the bottom 2. Carly finally had fun with “Jesus Christ Superstar”, finally got Simon to say something nice about her, and was subsequently sent packing.

Top 5 Week, “Songs by Neil Diamond” (aka Paula’s Futurama): This was the show that Paula gave us the number one highlight of the season and led Simon to declare that it was “the strangest show that I think we've ever done.” In case you were exploring Mars at the time, each of the contestants sang two of Neil’s songs but to save time for Chef Ramsey the judges were not allowed to comment until after the second song, that is until the producers called an audible and asked Ryan to ask the judges for their comments after the first round. Randy and Simon were both able to sum up their comments in short phrases but Paula was clearly caught off guard. After babbling for a while about Jason’s first song she started commenting on his second song even though he hadn't sung it yet. She was surprised to learn that Quiet Man had only sung one song. Some may be surprised if she returns as a judge next season. Drunk Chick tried to argue that she was really talking about David Cook, even though she was critical when she was talking about Jason’s future performance and thought Rocker Dude was “brilliant” and later called David “The next American Idol”. Subsequent explanations were equally confusing and she never did comment on the other contestants. As for the rest of the show (and yes, there was more to the show than just Paula’s acid trip), Brooke discovered that Neil was both a shaker and a hugger and Ryan revealed that he used to sing Neil Diamond songs from the rear facing seat of his family’s station wagon. Trained Seal came back at the results show to say how much we all love Paula and how the Internet rumors about her were untrue, leading millions to go online and see what the rumors were. Snow White lost her smile while singing “I'm A Believer”, perhaps realizing that she was doomed, and she was right.

Top 4 Week, “Songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame”: Syesha let it all hang out with “Proud Mary” and millions of men discovered that she has some nice gams. She came back with “A Change Is Gonna Come” and compared her experience on Idol with the Civil Rights Movement. Her tears afterward were blamed on Randy’s criticism even though it was Paula’s praise that caused them. David Archuleta inserted lyrics from another song into “Stand by Me” and as a result got his Stage Dad banned from the studio during rehearsals, then sent the sorority chicks stationed at the front of the stage into ecstasy with Elvis’ “Love Me Tender”. The best comments, though, were by and towards Jason, who butchered both “I Shot the Sheriff” and “Mr. Tambourine Man”. Captain Jack told Quiet Man to pack his bags after the Bob Dylan song and wondered what he was thinking when he chose the Bob Marley song. “I was thinking Bob Marley” was Jason’s snappy reply. Randy used the K-word after the first song and appeared ready to slug him after the second. Even Paula struggled to say something positive. Because Jason had shot the tambourine man he was sent home as punishment.

Top 3 Week: After introducing all sorts of format changes the Idol producers went back to the traditional Top 3 format. Each of the contestants sang a song chosen by one of the judges, a song chosen by the Idol producers, and a song chosen by themselves. After laying low for the previous few weeks David Cook generated goose bumps and tears in the audience with his rock ballad version of “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face”, chosen for him by Simon. It is the second year in a row that Simon chose the song for the eventual winner. Rocker Dude later brought tears to Paula’s face with his song choice, “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”. Syesha showed exactly what type of artist she is with the producer’s choice for her (“Fever”), an actress with nice legs and a big voice who is destined for the next traveling company of Rent. Perhaps in an attempt to get back at the producers for forcing them to put through all of the ringers this season Randy and Simon both criticized the producers’ song choices. Simon compared David Archuleta’s awkward version of “With You” (chosen by the producers) to a Chihuahua pretending to be a tiger. The best comment, though, came from the anchorman in Kansas City who asked Rocker Dude “Are you really going to sing Roberta Flack?” The results show was the best of the season, as we got to see extensive footage of each contestant’s personal appearances back home and each contestant was given their video sendoff before the results were announced. To the surprise of no one Ryan revealed that the final two were David and David and Syesha was sent off.

The Finale, from the Nokia Theater: The Idol producers stole my idea and used a boxing match motif throughout the show, though they played it out much more than I would have. Really, did we need to hear Jim Lampley talk about hitting the body? Clive Davis ended his boycott and came back to the show to chose one of the final songs and Weber came back to give some more entertaining advice, especially about the songs from the songwriting contest. David Archuleta put some suspense into the final results by acing all three of his sappy ballads: “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” (Clive’s choice), “In This Moment” (from the songwriting competition), and a reprise of “Imagine”. Randy and Simon both declared Wonder Boy the winner, though Simon later apologized for being disrespectful to David Cook. Paula was non-committal as usual. Rocker Dude disappointed both men with Clive’s choice “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” and his choice “The World I Know”, though at the end he finally joined the crying parade. I think every Top 12 contestant, except perhaps Amanda, cried at least one on stage this season. After the bloated finale featuring a performance by the bloated George Michael, Ryan told the world that David Cook is your American Idol for Season 7.

The Final Score: 176 shots at Drunk Chick Paula, 97 shots at Captain Jack Sparrow Simon, 92 shots at The Dawg Randy, 99 shots at Trained Seal Ryan, 35 shots at the Peanut Gallery audience, 30 shots at the mentors (with Mariah getting the most with 9), 17 Chris Daughtry references (thanks to David Cook being on every show), 6 Kelly Clarkson references, and 46 references to other former Idol contestants, including 11 on the Idol Gives Back show when I was in need of inspiration.

Your Three Stars of the Season: David Cook’s performance of “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” was my favorite this year and went a long way towards his eventual victory. David Archuleta’s performance of “Imagine” during Top 20 week was the best of the semis and set him up as the one to beat. The rest were not all that memorable, though Kristy Lee Cook’s choice of “God Bless the USA” is worth some mention for the pure audacity of it. Other notable mentions include:

David Cook, “Always Be My Baby”, from Mariah Carey week;
David Archuleta, “Don’t Let the Sun Go down on Me”, from the finale;
Jason Castro, “Somewhere over the Rainbow”, from Idol Gives Back week;
Michael Johns, “It’s So Wrong but It’s So Right”, from Dolly Parton week;
Syesha Mercado, “Yesterday”, from Beatles week;
Chikezie Eeze, “She’s A Woman” from Lennon/McCartney week;
David Cook, “Hello” and Jason Castro, “Hallelujah” from 80’s week;
Ramiele Malubay, “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me”, from 60’s week;
David Hernandez, “Love The One You’re With”; David Archuleta, “Heaven”; Carly Smithson, “How Do I Get You Alone”; and Syesha Mercado, “Chain Of Fools”; all from Hollywood Week;
And of course, Renaldo Lapuz, “Brothers Forever”, from the auditions.

Even though she is not technically eligible, I have to give three stars to Paula Abdul for her unique way of telling contestants “yes”, her contributions to the English lexicon, her sage advice about earpieces, and last but certainly not least her visions into the future. Without her no one outside of David Cook’s family and teenagers in Utah would have remembered anything about this season.

The Fearless Prediction Looks Back: I finished the season above .500 with a 12-11 record, boasted mostly by my 8-4 mark in the semis. In the finals I correctly predicted Chikeze’s, Kristy’s, Jason’s, and Syesha’s departures. I could claim that I had Danny Noriega, David Hernandez, Ramiele Malubay, and Brooke White in the bottom 3 on the weeks that they were voted off as victories, but this is not Dial Idol so I won’t add that to my record. I did not see Amanda Overmyer or Carly Smithson leaving the week that they did and the one week that I did not predict Michael Johns would be in the bottom 3 was the week he was voted off. Yes, I did predict that David Archuleta would win over David Cook, but so did my fellow judges Randy and Simon.

And now, the special treat. The Fearless Predictor Presents: What the Top 12 Will Do When They Grow Up

David Cook will have a mildly successful first album, an awful second album that will cause Clive Davis to dump him from the label, and then will end up doing musical theater and singing the Idol going home song 5 years from now, if the show lasts that long. Basically an emo version of Ruben Stoddard.

David Archuleta will make a ton of commercials, will be alienated from everyone else on the summer tour, will have a first album that will bomb, then achieve success doing Disney musicals with Miley Cyrus who he will be linked to romantically by TMZ and People magazine. By age 23 David will rebel from his Stage Dad, put out a rock album that will be poorly received but draw the attention of car crash enthusiasts, then finally go through drug rehab and emerge with a decent career on the nostalgia circuit just like George Michael, or maybe Britney Spears.

Syesha Mercado, as mentioned above, is destined for a touring company of Rent, and may get lucky and have Andrew Lloyd Weber write a part for her in his next musical, and of course your local Ford dealers will want her back to do some more spots for them.

Jason Castro will either be coming to a coffee house near you or will fade into obscurity and probably won’t care either way.

Brooke White will be very successful making albums for children, then after seeing her first R-rated movie will go into a sex and drug binge that will put her in the same rehab clinic as David Archuleta.

Carly Smithson will never get another record deal but will parlay her fame on the show to increased business at her San Diego Irish bar and tattoo parlor by offering 2 for 1 deals on either Guinness or tattoos on nights that she sings.

Kristy Lee Cook will enjoy the most successful music career of all of the Top 12 contestants making country music records because country music fans love their Idols. If Bucky Covington and Kellie Pickler can make a career out of country music then there’s no stopping Kristy Lee.

Michael Johns will make an album that will bomb so bad that his label will dump him, then after sitting at home for 2 or 3 years claiming that the label didn’t promote him well enough he will finally come to his senses, hook up with a decent rock band, and end up with an average career.

Ramiele Malubay will play before packed houses in Manila and will appear in numerous Tagalog movies and soap operas but will never be seen in the United States again except for the sex tapes that will appear on You Tube.

Chikezie Eeze has already gone back to working security at LAX and looks forward to the day he gets to go through Paula Abdul’s bags again.

Amanda Overmyer will sing and run up the tab in bars all over the Midwest as well as Carly’s bar in San Diego, then semi-sober up and have 6 kids and a home in the suburbs.

David Hernandez will set up a one-stop shop for all of your wedding entertainment needs. He’ll sing at your wedding and at your reception, and for only $50 more he’ll perform at your bachelorette party too.

That’s it, I am done for 2008. I hope you all enjoyed the ride as much as I enjoyed bringing it to you. Now I can go back to regular bed time hours and workouts on Tuesdays and Wednesdays again, at least until January rolls around and it’s time for Season Number 8. Will Paula return? Will Simon and Ryan finally consummate their simmering relationship? Will Randy find another act that he’s produced to appear as a mentor? Will the show jump the shark? Will the producers screw it up even more in a desperate attempt to regain their ratings? Will any of you care? Hopefully I will be there to lay it all on the line for you, and maybe by then I will have told my Mom that I’m writing this blog. Enjoy your summer everyone.

Happy Trails!
Taij

Sobbing in Salt Lake

Check out this report of the reaction in Salt Lake City to Wonder Boy losing to Rocker Dude:



Pretty sad in a number of ways, depending on your perspective, age, and gender. Check out some of the comments left on You Tube:

"wow yall who are just clicking on this video to make fun of Archuleta's fans are jerks. We were really upset that he placed second. David Cook is being so nice to David A...why don't yall learn from his example?"

"HAHAHAHAHOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm SOOOOO Happy David Cook won!!!!That video made my day! Nothing against Archie-Gaspy.... well.... you know what I mean ;)But yeah, I was so glad and relieved when Cook won, he honestly deserved it by a mile!He took risks the whole season, he was good and had a personnality.Archie was stage-strucked, couldnt respond to simple questions from Seacrest, and had to have a teleprompter and ear-phones to not forget his lines...Don't hate me Archie fans. Go COOK!"

"i was like them on wednesday!"

"why dont you learn to suck it up and just show your appreciation to BOTH davids. but i guess you cant do that because youre stuck day dreaming that archuleta "is what the show is all about." hahahahah i spit on that. daydreaming is what you have been doing."

"I like to see YOU get on that stage in front of millions and NOT have any issues. SHAME on you. Yes David A. has to grow up but I bet you all that he will mature into a gracious, talented singer. I could never do it. Someone told David Cook to come off his high horse, in the beginning he was arrogant, a real turn-off. Nothing wrong with being confident, but he crossed that line. He's come around and that's great. More power to him."

"sniffle...ha ha was it me or did it look like those girls were faking it just to get on tv? i'm from blue springs, and i never watched a single episode, but i still find this funny. poor losers."

"It's just a title folks. David A. is getting a contract, and is making all the same celebrity rounds as David Cook. Let's face it, David Cook appealed to more people and a larger demographic (something outside of pre-teens and teenagers). Don't hate on Cook. As someone said, Utah is a small state, there are many of us in other states that supported Cook. Also, hate to burst your bubble, but I've seen many International posts that claim to love David Cook, especially in the Phillippines."

"I'm from the Philippines, and I love David Archuleta, not Cook."

"I am seriously pist. I am mortified. This has to go down as the very worst decision in American idol history, all of the idols combined history, and reality tv history. Jealous losers and degenerates are responsible for this crap. DAVID ARCHULETA RULES. David Cook = Ryan Leaf With A Mic."

"You know Cook only won because of the votes . And I think that when it comes to talent in singing Archie is the winner . So don't feel so sad because we know the reason why Cook got the title (it's only because of VOTES not because of his TALENT!) :P"

With comments like these you'd think the decline in ratings among the teen and pre-teen set was grossly exaggerated. These people are PASSIONATE about their David! I especially loved the last comment that claims that Rocker Dude only won because of the votes. It is supposed to be a competition where the most votes wins, isn't it?

Thanks to Votefortheworst.com for posting the video.

I have completed my lengthy (and I'm serious about that) recap of American Idol Season 7 and will post it here in the next day or two.

And In The End

In the end, I think the best man won, and I do mean man. I also think that it helps restore at least some of whatever credibility American Idol has left since David Cook still qualifies as an “undiscovered talent”. The proliferation of professional ringers thrust upon us by the Idol producers leery of a repeat of Sanjayamania greatly diminished the appeal of the show. Perhaps that is why the producers decided to push Rocker Dude after all of the other amateurs were quickly eliminated. Perhaps it is also not a coincidence that Cook didn't emerge as a favorite to win until after Ramiele Malubay, Chikezie Eeze, Amanda Overmyer, and David Hernandez were all eliminated.

Since the Idol producers have already decided to cut back the results show to 30 minutes next season they should also consider making a similar cutback to the season finale. It seemed like they were really struggling to fill the two hours. Pretty much every Top 10 contestant except for Cheeky and Lullaby performed at least one song, and there were all those boy bands that the tweeners screamed for that I had no clue about. I also think that we could have done without Donna Summer, Bryan Adams, and George Michael all singing new songs that no one gives a damn about or will ever buy. While the video/subtle movie promo with Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., and a vintage 1972 Gladys Knight was entertaining, I think we could have done without the 20 minute promo for Mike Myers’ new movie even if Jessica Alba is in the flick.

I imagine I was not the only dude who noticed during the first group medley that Syesha wore a short skirted dress when all the other chicks wore pants. I also imagine that many of those same dudes also noticed that Carrie Underwood appeared to borrow Syesha's outfit for her number. And did anyone besides me noticed how stoned the Rock and Roll Nurse looked during the group medleys, and how all the male dancers during the chick medley were congregating around Trained Seal?

This year’s finale featured far fewer highlights from the season compared to the others. Jimmy Kimmel's “recap” consisted of a lame monologue and nothing else, though he gets some credit for having the cajones to mention Paula’s mental collapse three weeks ago. He also gets points for calling this season “19 weeks of karaoke singing.” Besides that there was a brief video of audition losers, Simon's cliched rejections, and a live performance by Birdman Renaldo Lapuz, who performed his famous “Brothers Forever” with the USC marching band and cheerleaders. William Hung must be jealous, especially after Birdman and the band started performing to different beats half way through.

It was nice of Captain Jack to apologize for being disrespectful to Rocker Dude last night, and may explain why Simon looked so relived when Cook was announced as the winner.

We also learned that Kansas City correspondent and self-proclaimed virgin Mikalah Gordon from Idol Season 4 has the IQ of a grapefruit, that Jordin Sparks sings pretty well for someone with a damaged throat, that Ryan is still surprised that Ringer Girl and Poser Mate were eliminated so early, that Wonder Boy’s grandpa is proud of his grandson and his Stage Dad son, that Drunk Chick “sees performances that no one else sees,” that Donna Summer and Bryan Adams are looking awfully old, that Cheeky has gained some weight since being eliminated, that Wonder Boy has seen his future and its name is George Michael, that there will be an American Idol theme park at Disney World, that they still give away cars to the winners, that Randy thinks this is the best season ever, that Paula thinks there is something wonderful about losing, that there was a winning song in the songwriting competition and it wasn't as sappy as I thought it would be, and that despite a down year in both the ratings and the vote counts 93 million people actually bothered to vote for the finale (either that or 10 tweeners voted 9.3 million times).

While the show has wrapped up for the season I still have one more task to perform before disappearing until January. Stay tuned for a comprehensive recap of American Idol Season 7. I hope it will be more entertaining than this season has been, though I can only promise that it won't be as long as this season has been.

Eye of the Tiger

We have finally reached the grand finale of this long and arduous season, at least for the audience. It’s the bright lights, the big stage, the sappy contest songs, and 7,000 screaming teens in the Nokia (nee Kodak) Theater, or Theatre if you’re watching the show or reading this blog in the hundreds of other countries broadcasting the show.

But before we begin, let’s meet the contestants:

In the red corner, weighing in at 180 pounds; he’s a bartender originally from Blue Springs, Missouri but now calls Tulsa, Oklahoma home; he rocked through his Omaha audition with Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer”; he emerged from the amateur ranks and blew away the posers with Lionel Richie’s “Hello”; after twisting “Billie Jean” into a rock ballad Simon Cowell predicted that he could win the competition and now he is just three songs away from doing just that; here is “Rocker Dude” David Cook.

And in the blue corner, weighing in at around 100 pounds “wet”; he’s a 16 year old high school kid hailing from Murray City, Utah; he came into the competition having won the Star Search competition in 2004; he amazed the judges in his San Diego audition with John Mayer’s “Waiting for the World to Change”; he knocked everyone out with John Lennon’s “Imagine” in the semis, which Randy Jackson declared was the best performance in the history of the show; he emerged as the early favorite to win it all and has become the darling of teenage girls and middle age women from coast-to-coast; here is “Wonder Boy” David Archuleta.

Now, let’s get ready to rumble!!! (Trademark Michael Buffer, all rights reserved)

Honest, I thought of the boxing intro while walking to work today, only to see the Idol producers steal my idea. I knew I was in trouble when I saw the microphone dropping down to the stage. Of course none of you will believe me, but there is only so much I can say to convince you otherwise.

Trained Seal is actually wearing a suit, perhaps so that he is not out staged by the dapper Mr. Buffer. The audience shots show about 90 percent teenage girls. Randy and Simon are wearing jackets too, but sans ties because they think they are much cooler than Ryan.

In the intro video they carry on with the boxing analogy, which Wonder Boy seems so out of place with but at least seems to be enjoying. Chris Daughtry is passively identified as an Idol winner along with Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, even though he only finished fourth in Season 5. Tonight’s mentors (alright, another first that provides blog material for me) are Andrew Lloyd Weber, making a repeat appearance (another first I think), and Clive Davis, who returns to Idol after boycotting Season 6. Apparently Jim Lampley is serving as a mentor as well since he’s got more screen time in the intro than either Weber or Davis, a theme that continued for the rest of the show. During the Coca-Cola interview we see Rocker Dude playing to the crowd and Wonder Boy acting nervous as usual. Then came words of useless advice from Randy and Paula as usual. Simon urges the David’s to hate each other, so of course all they do is complement each other in an awkward ah shucks moment.

David Cook, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2, chosen by Clive: I’ve always thought that there should be more U2 songs on this show instead of all the Whitney and Stevie (and now Beatles) songs, so Clive gets an at-a-boy from me for picking this one for Rocker Dude. Cook comes out looking like he lost a fight with a hair dryer. He starts out pitchy in spots but is putting some felling into the song. The vocals get better when the pace picks up. Cook tempts fate by roaming into the tweeners and then mounting the short wall behind the judge’s pit. Vocally it wasn’t that great. It was a bit pitchy in spots and a bit weak in others, but he performed it like a rocker should. The Dawg is “boyz” with Rocker Dude. Drunk Chick has found her second true love, her first being the screwdriver in her Coca-Cola cup. Simon thought Cook was phenomenal considering that he looked tense and emotional at the start. If that is what Captain Jack is using as criteria then he should love Wonder Boy no matter how bad he does.

David Archuleta, “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” by Elton John, chosen by Clive: While Rocker Dude seemed pleased by the song chosen for him, Wonder Boy looks like he’s about to throw up. However, considering how often we’ve seen that look maybe he really is pleased and has an odd way of showing it. Weber makes a big deal about the closed eyes thing again. He too starts out pitchy but in slightly better voice than usual, though somehow his voice faded a bit when the backup singers jumped in. Maybe that too is just natural for him and I’ve been wrong to blame the mix engineer this whole time. Archuleta does pick it up at the end and actually showed some emotion in his performance, so much that he looks drained when he is done. It looks like somebody finally woke this kid up. Stage Dad is of course beaming now that his cash cow is actually acting like one. The Dawg declares it the best performance all season, only the third time he’s said that after a Wonder Boy performance. David is ready to collapse. The crowd goes nuts when Paula declares that she has chills in her arms. Simon actually agrees with Randy and David mouths “oh my gosh” in disbelief. I wonder how Wonder Boy is going to make it through the next two numbers.

I would give Wonder Boy a slight edge in this round. He was a little less pitchy.

Another new twist, instead of forcing the final two to sing the same sappy song that allegedly won the songwriting competition; the David’s get to choose a song that finished in the Top 10 of the songwriting competition. They’ll probably still be sappy but at least, unlike last year, one contestant won’t have an unfair advantage, in theory at least. Blake Lewis must be sitting at home ready to throw something at the TV. He’s probably thinking “I could have smoked these a**holes if I was in the competition this season” after all of the format changes that would have favored him. Weber is worried that Cook is losing his voice and then trashes Archuleta’s song choice. “I think Simon wrote this song,” he said, doing wonders to boost Wonder Boy’s shaky confidence as well as Captain Jack’s ego.

David Cook, “Dream Big” by Emily Shackleton: Rocker Dude rocks up the song with his guitar, which should help make it less sappy. He belts it out like a rocker should, complete with slurred lyrics and lots of shouting. I would guess that this not the way Ms. Shackleton had originally envisioned the song, though I would guess that it is an improvement. Rocker Dude wraps it up with a big note that sends the girls screeching. I think he did as well as he could have with that song, and it was better than his first song. Randy trashed the song but admired the singing. So much for that experiment. Paula is still mesmerized by Rocker Dude and/or what is in her cup. Simon thought it was lightweight and not a winning moment. Drunk Chick correctly pointed out to Captain Jack that “it was not the winning song.” You mean there’s going to be another one?

Somehow Trained Seal made it from the stage to the balcony during the commercial break to pimp the summer tour.

David Archuleta, “In This Moment” by Randall Moore: Gosh, another sappy ballad chosen by Wonder Boy, what a surprise. Gosh, he still can’t fill out the low notes, another surprise. He’s got an anchor on the back of his jacket and on the front too. Could this be some kind of signal? How did that get by Stage Dad? Actually, it was probably his idea. Archuleta is pitchier than his first song but he still sang it relatively well, at least well enough that I cannot trash it much. Again Randy trashes the song but praises the singing, claiming that Wonder Boy is “in the zone”. Paula repeats her comments again too. Simon loved the song choice and declares Wonder Boy the winner of Round Two.

I think this round was closer to a draw, but I would give a slight edge to Wonder Boy. To be honest, though, you had to know that Archuleta would have an advantage if the Idol producers forced the two dudes to sing a sappy competition song.

For Round 3 the David’s get to choose any song they want as long as the Idol producers can get clearance ahead of time, which reduces the available choices down to about 10 songs unless Stage Dad pushes Wonder Boy to break the rules again.

David Cook, “The World I Know” by Collective Soul, chosen by Rocker Dude: Cook goes unplugged to start and handles the low notes better than Wonder Boy. When the band comes in Cook keeps in under control and keeps it that way for the rest of the song. It was his best singing performance of the night but it was more subdued than his usual material. Rocker Dude then does a un-rocker thing and actually breaks down in tears. Well why not; every other contestant on this show has done that this season. Surprisingly, Randy didn’t criticize for the subtlety or take the blame for the tears. Paula tells Cook that he is “standing in your truth” on the stage. I lost track of the rest of Drunk Chick’s comments since I’m still trying to figure out what “standing in your truth” means. Simon praises Rocker Dude’s sincerity but didn’t like the song choice. He wanted Cook to do “Hello” or “Billie Jean” again. Rocker Dude responds by basically saying Captain Jack is an idiot, albeit politely because he is so sincere.

David Archuleta, “Imagine” by John Lennon, chosen by Wonder Boy: While Rocker Dude chose a song he’s never done before Wonder Boy fell back to the song that basically put him in the finale. That should make Captain Jack happy. This time Archuleta is accompanied by only a guitar to start and appeared to miss the entry by a beat or two. The sorority chicks screech at the first high note. Half way through it appears that Archuleta is fighting to keep his eyes open. I wish the director would stop doing all those close-ups on Wonder Boy’s goofy facial expressions, but since this is likely the last performance of his that I will ever see perhaps I shouldn’t worry. His performance was good, not as good as the one he did in the semis but still decent, provided that the audience wasn’t distracted by the facial expressions. Randy declares that Wonder Boy was “what this show is all about” and declares Archuleta the winner while falling out of his chair. Paula declares herself speechless but still manages to babble on. Simon declares the bout over by knockout and defends the show in the process, drawing praise from Trained Seal.

I give Round 3 to Rocker Dude, though again by a nose.

As has become a tradition on the show, the guy who sang the going home song puts in a live performance. In this case it’s the gentle giant Ruben Stoddard, whose rendition of his home song is accompanied by scenes from the season. Gosh it seems like these scenes were years ago.

And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen… I wonder if I'm going to watch Chef Ramsey next week since I won't be typing any more recaps for a while.

The Final, Final Score: 8 shots at Drunk Chick, 12 shots at Captain Jack, 8 shots at The Dawg (can you believe it, Paula actually was the lowest one, I don’t think that has ever happened), 4 shots at Trained Seal, 2 shots at the audience, and 6 shots at the dueling mentors. 1 Chris Daughtry reference, 1 Kelly Clarkson reference, and 3 references to other former Idol contestants. 7000 screaming teens, 6 references to actual performers (8 if you count Jim Lampley and Michael Buffer), 3 references to Stage Dad, 2 format changes, 2 iTunes pimps, 1 summer tour pimp, and an infinite number of boxing references by both me and the show.

Your Star of the Night: I don’t agree with Captain Jack that it was a knockout, but David Archuleta was the better of the two tonight.

The Fearless Prediction: While the last two years the winner was fairly easy to predict, this one looked too close to call going in. David Cook looked to be the favorite but now it looks to be even close since David Archuleta was the better of the two tonight. It would not surprise me to see either one win, but I believe that Wonder Boy did just enough to eek past Rocker Dude to win the title and the record deal.

Seeya Syesha

Well, no surprise, it's David vs. David, Wonder Boy vs. Rocker Dude for the American Idol Season 7 title. Archuleta was the favorite almost from the auditions, while Cook has slowly distinguished himself as the best of the rockers. I also find it admirable that one of the amateurs, the afore mentioned Mr. Cook, actually made it to the finale in a season when over half of the final 12 either had recording contracts or previous reality show experience and 4 of the 5 without either were the first four eliminated.

Syesha had a big voice and was in my opinion the best looking chick amongst the final 6 girls, but her achievement is indicative of how weak this year's chick contestant pool was. It seems to be going in cycles. Last year the chicks were dominant. Two years ago the dudes were king. So look for another chick to win next season's show unless the Idol producers try and change that too.

Fantasia Barrino's performance was as interesting as her bright red hair. Captain Jack had his jaw on the floor. I guess he couldn't believe that this was the same chick who sang the knockout ballads to win Season 4. I hope Syseha was paying attention, because that is likely her future. Speaking of futures, I found it interesting that the music accompanying Rocker Dude's farewell song (don't panic, all three had farewell songs) was Chris Daughtry's "What About Now." Not to leave him out, there were a couple of demonstrations tonight of Wonder Boy's apprehension towards girls. He looked decidedly scared when girls were reaching for him at his hometown ceremonies, and he just stood there looking goofy while Rocker Dude gave Yes In Her Name a big hug after her departure was announced.

We also learned tonight that among Ryan's myriad of talents is being able to impersonate William Shatner, that Syesha really did go to her hometown and didn't film her song choice spot in the studio parking lot, that Syesha's Dad is still clean and sober, that David Cook went to the Omaha auditions not intending to actually audition but was told to do so by the producers, that Rocker Dude was inspired to sing by his elementary school music teacher, that oh my gosh the Murray High School cheerleaders turned out for Wonder Boy's appearance, that Simon thinks next week's finale will be a "humdinger", that all 3 contestants were driven to tears by all of the fans that turned out in their hometowns, that whenever Trained Seal is wrong it's the researcher's fault, and that the morning news crew at the Fox affiliate in Kansas City is craaaazzzzy!

One more week to go, and then I need to decide what I want to do with this blog for the rest of this year. I hope you don't expect me to watch and recap those dumb dance shows or the even dumber talent show that serves as Captain Jack's summer job. At least I'll get to go back to my regular routine.

Idols Go Home, Or Did They?

So it appears that Wonder Boy has been selected by Vote for the Worst as their pick, which is surprising since David Archuleta has been considered the favorite of the judges and producers to win ever since he warbled though “Imagine” so many years, I mean months, ago. Though now that Wonder Boy’s Stage Dad has been banned from rehearsals and from choosing David’s songs for him (see, Captain Jack was right) perhaps the judges and producers views of David will be different. Chances are, though, that the tweeners and middle-age women who have been screeching for Wonder Boy every time his name is mentioned will still be screeching for him no matter how badly he mangles the lyrics or sings out of tune.

It is always interesting to see what songs the judges select for the Top 3 contestants. Two years ago it definitely played a role in Elliott Yamin’s elimination. Elliott was asked by Paula to sing some sappy song, while Simon selected “Over the Rainbow” for Katherine McPhee. Yamin did his best with a bad song while McPhee aced a good song, and sure enough the next night Yamin was sent packing. It didn't seem to matter last season since it was more of a popularity contest than a singing competition. This season, who knows? I can’t tell if it is a popularity contest or a singing competition since none of these Top 3 contestants have been especially popular or have stood out with their singing.

One last wish before we begin, I sure hope next season is better….

Ryan sported some facial stubble tonight, perhaps to make himself look almost like an adult. Either that or he forgot to shave this morning. Mourning over the fact that this season has been the worst in recent memory, the judges are all wearing black tonight, though keeping in character Randy is wearing a black Hawaiian shirt, Paula has on a glittering blouse (though not as tight as usual), and Simon maintained his usual stylish T-shirt look.

Murray City, Utah’s David Archuleta: “And So It Goes” by Billy Joel, chosen by Paula. Paula spoke in general terms about why she chose the song. Nothing I can insult, but nothing worth noting either. Wonder Boy started out strong, and then he missed a couple of notes when the violins kicked in. The rest was decent. Not great, but not awful either. Typical Wonder Boy stuff. His eyes only opened, though, at the end of the song. Stage Dad was shown in the audience, so I guess the ban wasn't the retraining order that it should have been. The Dawg loved it as usual, despite the pitchiness. I don’t think Randy has said one critical thing about Wonder Boy all season. Paula thought David was a “storyteller”. Simon called it “very good” but “predictable” and “not outstanding” and got booed by the Peanut Gallery. Simon then toyed with the sorority chicks that booed him.

Ryan pimped iTunes from Randy’s chair, until the judges jumped in and stole Trained Seal’s lines.

Tampa, Florida’s Syesha Mercado, “If I Ain't Got You” by Alicia Keys, chosen by Randy: Funny, I thought The Dawg would want to choose Wonder Boy’s song. Interesting that Syesha got her song via text message (no doubt on her iPhone) while riding alone in a limo when previous contestants got theirs from the governor of their state, or at least with someone else in the room. Randy thought Yes In Her Name could be commercially successful with a song like this. Somehow I kind of doubt that she can commercially successful with anything that doesn’t involve a director or a key grip. She started out in tune and on pitch but rather boring, and then of course once the big chorus came up she came back with the big voice. Like Wonder Boy, it was decent but predictable, like most of Yes In Her Name’s performances. But since that is what got her in the Top 3, well that and the fact that she was the only African American chick in the Top 12, it could have been worse. Randy thought Syesha was amazing and peaking at the right time. Simon thought Randy chose the wrong song for her but that she still sang it well. Trained Seal accused Syesha of bagging it until now. Syesha argued that only now does she feel relaxed enough to “be herself,” or as much as this actress chick can be.

Kansas City, Missouri’s David Cook, “The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack, chosen by Simon: This was an interesting song choice, almost as if Drunk Chick chose it instead of Captain Jack. Simon sent his song choice via text message also, but instead of being alone Rocker Dude got his while on the air at the local Fox affiliate. I loved the anchor dude’s reaction to the song choice, “Are you really going to sing Roberta Flack?” Simon wanted Rocker Dude to do something different, unlike Randy who wanted Syesha to sing her usual stuff. At the start Rocker Dude struggled a bit with the high notes but he put a lot of feeling into it. He slowly morphed the song into a big hair power ballad, complete with the big note at the end. You know, I really liked this performance. For the first time all season I actually felt a goosebump developing. Randy returned the favor and criticized Simon’s song choice. Paula thought that David was her “second favorite person who sings” this song, but doesn't bother to identify her first favorite. Simon thought it was one of Rocker Dude’s best performances to date and Randy cannot believe it. Ryan acknowledged that the Idol stage manager and David’s mom had tears in their eyes during the song and an awkward silence descends into the studio. Ryan, a word of advice, leave the awkward comments to Drunk Chick. Rocker Dude wished a happy belated Mother’s Day to everyone!

We've been told over and over by Trained Seal that we've gotten to know these contestants more this year than in any season before, and yet tonight, when in the past we saw long videos of the contestant's trips back to their hometowns, all we saw was David Archuleta's mayor and the morning news crew at Fox's Kansas City affiliate. No big ceremonies, no keys to the city, and only one elected official. We don't even know for sure if Syesha ever went to her hometown. That limo could have been in the studio parking lot for all we know.

David Archuleta, “With You” by Chris Brown, chosen by Wonder Boy: Coca-Cola interview time. Ryan asked why David chose the song and he looked scared while answering the question. I think he said he sang this song before but I could not tell for sure. He still looked scared, though. Ryan almost had to push Wonder Boy to the center of the stage. I don’t know if he is naturally this way or if the fact that he chose this song without Stage Dad’s backing put the fear of God in him. David started the song looking at the Peanut Gallery and five chicks screeched and fainted. Indeed, every time he looked down about a dozen of the sorority chicks screeched and collapsed in ecstasy. Eventually Wonder Boy stopped looking down, perhaps out of concern for their safety. He slurred about half the words so I couldn't tell if he missed any. Overall it was rather flat for me, but then I’m not 18, female, and attending UCLA. OhmyGod, Randy was actually critical, dumping on Wonder Boy’s song choice. Paula thought the song choice was perfect and that it was nice that it wasn't a ballad. She also pointed out the slurring. OhmyGod, she almost made sense. Simon thanked David for not singing a screechy ballad but thought it was like “a chihuahua trying to be a tiger” in its awkwardness. Ryan thought his “boo” (yes, he really said that) was being too personal.

Syesha Mercado, “Fever” by Peggy Lee, chosen by Yes In Her Name: For some reason Syesha slipped into her Florida accent tonight. After going with conservative clothing for her first song Syesha came back with another short cut sleeveless dress like she wore last week. She teased Ryan and me with having some fun with a chair but all she did was sit on it and walk around it a few times. So disappointing. The low camera angle did get close enough to some dangerous territory to keep my interest. Her vocals sure weren't doing it. Honestly, I paid no attention to her singing because I was too preoccupied with watching her hem line. No question in my mind what audience she was appealing to, pretty smart since the Peanut Gallery has been preoccupied with Wonder Boy and Rocker Dude all season. Randy apparently was paying attention to the singing but didn't say much about it. Paula didn't think the song choice showed what type of artist Syesha is. Are you kidding? It showed exactly what type of artist she is, an actress with nice legs and a big voice who is destined for the next travelling company of Rent. Simon thought it was a lame cabaret performance. Well, it was a cabaret performance, but lame? I guess it depends on what y’all were looking at.

David Cook, “Dare You To Move” by Switchfoot, chosen by Rocker Dude: Ryan used Syesha's prop to do the Coca-Cola interview with Rocker Dude. David thought the song described what he felt about the show, which to me sounded like he was describing an existential experience. David struggled to get out the soft notes at the start, but sounded more confident when the band kicked in for the chorus. A fairly standard Rocker Dude performance, but it was certainly better than Wonder Boy and Yes In Her Name. At the end I thought, “You know, I could almost see myself buying a record with this song on it,” with the emphasis on “almost.” Randy thought it was a little pitchy. Paula, “as an artist”, related to what David was going through in that the song never really got started until it ended, or something like that.

David Archuleta, “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg, chosen by The Producers: Oh boy, another screechy ballad. Oh, it’s this song. Sadly, I did recognize it. For most of the song David’s singing was drowned out by the back-up singer, even during the screechy parts. One change that the Idol producers might consider for next season is another sound mixer. Well, this one was again okay but nothing fancy. Interestingly, the reaction from the Peanut Gallery was more subdued than it was after the first two Wonder Boy performances. When the camera pulled back there appeared to be less of them. Perhaps the rest were still recovering from Song #2. The Dawg thought it was an interesting song choice as if Wonder Boy or Stage Dad had chosen it. Simon was even more critical of the song choice, calling it “gooey.” Didn't either of these dudes hear Trained Seal say that the producers chose the song? It’s not Wonder Boy’s fault that the song lyrics were gooey. You can’t even fault Stage Dad for this one. Captain Jack, though, all but conceded that Wonder Boy will be back next week.

Ryan pimped the summer tour and greeted Justin What’s His Name from Season 1.

Syesha Mercado, “Hit Me Up” by Gia Farrell, chosen by The Producers: Syesha ditched the dresses and went with an outfit more up tempo along with the song, basically tight jeans and your standard sleeveless blouse. Without the distraction I ended up paying more attention to the singing and I wasn't impressed. To me, it sounded like “blah, blah, blah, BIG NOTE” repeated over and over about 30 times. If she comes back next week I’ll go back to just watching her instead of listening to her. Randy thought it was just OK and got booed. Paula pointed out that the song was from the Happy Feet soundtrack, which sent the judges off on a tête-à-tête about whether or not the song was about penguins. This time it was Drunk Chick who didn't like the song choice and openly wondered if it’ll be enough to get her through to the Nokia finale. Simon was not too excited about her prospects either. Yes In Her Name was not too pleased. I could tell because her smile faded just a little bit. She must have figured out the code and determined that she was the one The Producers want to go home.

Even though there was only three minutes to go before the show ended Trained Seal still had time to pimp iTunes again.

David Cook, “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith, chosen by The Producers: I was curious to see if this song was as inspiring to Rocker Dude as “Dream On” was to Poser Mate. David was surrounded on stage by string players as the Peanut Gallery shrieked after just the first note. Instead of singing it straight he turned the song into a quiet power ballad before he pulled out the big notes and the guitar sound at the end. It may not have been his best performance, but I saw something from Rocker Dude in this performance that the other two contestants didn't show tonight, emotion. He at least sounded like he wanted to win this competition. The other two sounded like they were just going through the motions. Perhaps sensing that his kid Wonder Boy was in danger of elimination Randy declared that Rocker Dude was just okay and too predictable. Paula was in tears and raced thorough her comments. Simon declared Rocker Dude the winner of the night. Let’s see if that ends up being the kiss of death.

And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen… I wonder how that Chef Ramsey will survive without the Idol lead-in.

The Final Score: 9 shots at Paula, 8 shots at Simon, 11 shots at Randy (a new record for The Dawg I think), 10 shots at Ryan, and 7 shots at the audience. Pretty even this week. No references to Chris Daughtry but there were 4 references to other former Idol contestants and 5 references to David Archuleta’s father. 2 iTunes pimps, 1 summer tour pimp, 3 judges in black, 2 links, 2 references to acting, 2 references to musical theater, some penguins, and 1 amazed Kansas City anchorman. And yes, 1 goosebump performance. Finally.

Your Three Stars of the Night: David Cook’s first and third performances, followed by Syesha's dress in the second number. The rest were just okay.

The Fearless Prediction: Let’s see, David Cook was clearly the best of the three tonight, but then so was Melinda Doolittle last year and she got the boot. David Archuleta was the worst of the three but did nothing to scare off the tweeners and middle age chicks supporting him, and Syesha Mercado was her usual boring self but still has the demographics on her side. So I’m faced with a tough choice here. At this point I’m rooting, albeit only three-quarter heartily, for David Cook, so I won’t pick him. Dial Idol is predicting that Syesha Mercado will be voted off so I will go with her. That way if I’m wrong I can blame someone else.

Happy Mother's Day from the Stage Dad from Hell

Who knew that the Associated Press would be a source of American Idol gossip? Last week it was news of the ratings decline. This week it's America's favorite Stage Dad Jeff Archuleta.

David Archuleta's dad loses 'American Idol' backstage pass

By LYNN ELBER, AP Television Writer Sat May 10, 6:45 AM ET

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Backstage meddling has caught up "American Idol" favorite David Archuleta's dad, who's been banned from rehearsals, a person working for the TV talent contest said Friday.

Jeff Archuleta was told this week by producers that he can no longer join 17-year-old son as David as he prepares for the show, the person familiar with the matter told The Associated Press. The person wasn't authorized to comment publicly and spoke on the condition of anonymity.

The show's action was first reported Friday by the online Web site TMZ.

David Archuleta of Murray, Utah, is one of three contestants left as the top-rated Fox show heads toward the Jan. 20-21 finale. The fresh-faced teenager with the big voice has consistently been deemed a front-runner by the judges and been a consistent fan favorite.

Jeff Archuleta's intense backstage involvement had become a source of concern for the series, the person connected with "American Idol" said — but it was a lyric change on Tuesday's show that pushed producers to act.

Despite a warning, Jeff Archuleta insisted on altering "Stand by Me," one of two songs his son sang on the show Tuesday. By adding a verse from Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls," the father incurred additional costs for "American Idol," the person said.

Fox declined comment. Attempts to reach Jeff Archuleta for comment were unsuccessful. A phone number listed under his name in Murray, Utah, was no longer in service, and Fox did not immediately respond to a request Friday evening for help in contacting the family.

Earlier Friday, David Archuleta was honored at a hometown celebration held at his high school in Murray, during which Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman declared "David Archuleta Day."

The singer and his family declined to be interviewed at the event, but David Archuleta did speak with the Salt Lake City Fox affiliate, KSTU-TV. "Wow," he exclaimed as he viewed the cheerleading squad outside his stretch limousine.

The other finalists left in competition for the "Idol" title and a record contract are David Cook and Syesha Mercado. Cook, a native of suburban Blue Springs, Mo., had his own homecoming celebration Friday in Kansas City, while Mercado was feted Bradenton, Fla.

So only when Stage Dad causes the Idol producers to fork over more money in song rights fees do they act, even though by some accounts he's been putting the fear of God into everyone on the show since the beginning. No one Wonder Boy has had looked like a deer staring into headlights every time he takes the stage. If this story is in fact true and Stage Dad is kept away from his son during rehearsals, when as we found out the judges determine their comments, it'll be interesting to see how Wonder Boy does. It'll also be interesting to see how Randy Jackson comments on David's performances.

If you are interested in getting the more juicier aspects of this story check out the TMZ web site here. Among other things it has a very interesting picture of Stage Dad and claims that he has been badgering the other contestants as well as his own son and the Idol staff.

I also didn't know that a recording contract was one of the prizes given to the Idol winner. Nowadays when just about everyone in the Top 12 gets a record deal it doesn't seem to matter as much. Maybe that is why Clive Davis doesn't appear on the show anymore.

I Shot The Tambourine Man

Within 30 seconds of tonight's show everyone knew that Jason Castro was the one being sent home tonight. Even before Trained Seal said "this....is American Idol" he told the audience that the Top 3 were within one million votes of each other, which meant that #4 had to be way below in the vote count, and there was only one guy that could have applied to. Not even the support of Vote for the Worst.com was enough to generate the sympathy votes that Quiet Man needed to make it to the Top 3. Quiet Man's reactions tonight were also a clear sign that even he knew he was in trouble. To wit:

"Dude, you gonna tell us now?" he asked Ryan before the customary mid-show tease.
"The brain being dead," in response to a caller's question on his biggest challenge he's had to overcome on the show.
"I was thinking Bob Marley!" when Captain Jack asked him last night what he was thinking.
"I've packed my bags," when Ryan reminded him of Simon's parting comment from last night.
"Somebody told me that I shot Tambourine Man yesterday. I thought that was pretty funny," said just before his elimination was announced.
"I am relieved," he told Ryan when the results were announced. "They gotta sing three songs next week. How was I going to do that?"

You have to give Quiet Man credit for one thing though. He wasn't shown in any of the auditions shows or the Hollywood Week show and yet he still made it to the Top 4. Pretty impressive if you ask me.

Some things that make me ask hmmm... Why does Wonder Boy always look surprised when Ryan announces that he is safe? He has never been in the Bottom 2 or 3, even when he flubbed the lyrics of the Beatles' song. What was Maroon 5 doing performing on Rock and Roll Hall of Fame week? Couldn't they have found at least one Rock and Roll Hall of Famer to perform? Was Ozzy Osbourne unavailable or something? Why does The Dawg think Rocker Dude is one of the most original Idol performers ever? The dude has even admitted that he steals his arrangement ideas from other artists. Why did Syesha again compare her experience on Idol to the civil rights movement? Wasn't three times last night enough?

We also learned tonight that Randy felt bad for making Syesha cried even though Syesha admitted that it was Paula that prompted the tears; that Jason is scared of girls who randomly kiss him; that Rocker Dude already has a groupie waiting for him in Pittsburgh; that Paula loves being the only chick on the judge's panel, for however long she'll be allowed to sit there; that Syesha loves dolphins; that Bo Bice thought some of the contestants hid behind their instruments; and that if the crowd in Vegas and the callers on tonight's show are any indication the audience for American Idol has dwindled to tweener girls and middle aged women.

Next week is one of my favorite weeks, the one where the 3 contestants have to sing a song chosen by one of the judges along with 2 others. Which one will be stuck with Paula and what sappy song will Drunk Chick choose? And will Clive Davis boycott the Top 3 show like he did last year? Again, things that make you ask hmmm.

We're Brothers Forever

I've noticed that my hit rate has been dropping over the last few weeks, perhaps indicative of the general malaise that has descended on the show and everyone associated with it, including the audience. Even I, your humble servant, am not as enthusiastic about this show compared to how I felt 5 months ago. It seems like Renaldo Lapuz's audition of “We're Brothers Forever” was 5 years ago. I will continue to press on though, especially since the Sharks have been eliminated from the Stanley Cup playoffs and left me without anything else to watch.

Maybe it is just the malaise talking, but Ryan’s hair seems to be getting pointier every week. Trained Seal opened the show by ordering us to vote and telling us that three of the final four have been Number 1 in the votes. Wonder Boy and Rocker Dude are the obvious choices, but I am having a hard time imagining either Yes In Her Name or Quiet Man being the top choice of any week this year.

Ryan introduced the judges as “guiding stars” before calling out the contestants. At first glance it looked to me that Jason’s hair is getting longer. I learn something tonight when Ryan told us that Ike Turner invented the distortion guitar when his amp was damaged falling from his car. Tonight’s theme is the songs from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Hopefully this won’t mean more Beatles songs. I think we have heard enough from the Lennon/McCartney songbook this season. To the relief of the judges and all of America, except for those hoping for another Paula meltdown, Ryan allowed the judges to comment after each performance.

David Cook, “Hungry like the Wolf” by Duran Duran: This song didn't immediately jump out at him as something to sing on Rock and Roll Night. That makes two of us. Of all the rock and roll songs that Rocker Dude could have chosen he selected a Duran Duran song. What about Led Zeppelin? Black Sabbath? Van Halen? Hell, even R.E.M. would have been more appropriate. I didn't even know that Duran Duran was even in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. During the song Paula bopped along with the sorority sisters in the Peanut Gallery. Randy and Simon, meanwhile, just sat there like rocks as usual, perhaps looking for their notes from the dress rehearsal. I liked how Rocker Dude added some edge to this flimsy song, but still it was a little bit flat and uninspiring. Randy was not impressed and got booed for saying so. Paula expressed her big appetite for Rocker Dude. Simon was not excited but thought it was good enough to get him through. Spontaneous cheers emerged from the Peanut Gallery when Ryan read the phone number.

Syesha Mercado, “Proud Mary” by Tina Turner: Before the break Ryan warned us that Syesha was going to “let it all hang out.” Ryan is such a tease. After the break Syesha was subjected to the Coca-Cola interview. Syesha told Trained Seal that she was soooo excited about the Idol tour because she will get to meet all of her fans. All 10 of them. Syesha told us in her video that “Proud Mary” has been covered over 100 times. What she didn't mention was that Ike and Tina Turner’s recording was one of them. Somebody send Yes In Her Name a Creedence album. Syesha is looking nice tonight. As the only girl left in the competition it makes sense that she would turn up the sex appeal. It may be the only thing that she can offer the producers, I mean voters, that the three dudes can’t. After the slow bluesy start Syesha pulls out the dance moves and the shouting. She didn't imitate Tina as much as she imitated Beyonce' imitating Tina. Well at least she had fun. Randy loved the theatrics, continuing his attempt to push Yes In Her Name to a career in musical theater. The Dawg also felt Syesha's heat, and with her short skirt it was easy for me to see why. Paula babbled for about 10 minutes and I lost track of what she was said, but no one winced so I guess it was somewhat sane. Simon put a damper on things by calling Syesha’s performance a “bad, shrieky version” of a “bad impression of Tina Turner.” Randy explained the difference in opinion between himself and Simon by telling us that he’s from Louisiana and Captain Jack is from England. Syesha didn't care about the difference; she just likes to have fun.

Trained Seal performed his first iTunes pimp #1 while showing off a Jason Castro mask. Then he handed it off to Ringer Girl, still haunting us after being kicked off two weeks ago.

Jason Castro, “I Shot the Sheriff” by Bob Marley: Go figure, Rasta boy sang a Rasta song. Jason started off by emoting more than he has ever had before and, perhaps not coincidentally, by missing a bunch of notes. He settled down a bit once he picked up the guitar, only to go back to the pitchy emotional pitch at the end of the song. It was OK for what it was. If you like Quiet Man’s music you would like this thing. Otherwise it was rather flat. Randy was highly disappointed, to the extent that he pulled out the karaoke word before Captain Jack could. Paula admired how he performed for the audience (I guess for Drunk Chick over-emoting = connecting to the audience) then declared that she wasn't crazy about the Quiet Man’s singing. I guess this was the second song that Paula was commenting about last week. Maybe Ryan was right and she was seeing the future after all. Simon called it utterly atrocious and wondered what Jason was thinking. Dude, I would guess that he was thinking about his next bong hit. Can you guess which contestant the judges think will be eliminated after tonight? Or for you conspiracy minded folks out there, can you guess which contestant the producers want to eliminate tonight? Ryan came to Quiet Man’s defense and accused the male judges of being angry and then asked Drunk Chick to offer up some words of encouragement.

“Little” David Archuleta, “Stand by Me” by Ben E. King: No surprise Wonder Boy got the closer spot. He seemed embarrassed to tell us in his video that he sings this song in his room to his dog. Then again, he sounds embarrassed pretty much every time he says anything. I could comment on how this relates to David's Stage Dad but that would be too cruel, even for me. On the surface it sounded like a good song choice. Wonder Boy goes back to closing his eyes again but he still sounded pretty good, including a nice little falsetto run at the end. I wouldn't buy this recording but it was still pretty good. Best of the night so far at least. Do you think Randy would like it? Of course! The Dawg could hardly contain his excitement. Paula was more subdued but complimentary. After last week’s brain fart Drunk Chick appeared to trying to be less zany than usual. Either that or there was an intervention and she is now on a program. Simon thought Wonder Boy struggled a little bit at the end and Randy appeared ready to jump over Paula and attack Captain Jack along with the sorority chicks. Ryan noted that David always looks like he is about to pass out every time he listens to the judges’ comments. Wonder Boy thought it might be because the Guiding Stars’ faces scare him. I don’t know why, I don’t think Randy has said anything negative about Wonder Boy since he forgot the words to that Beatles song.

David Cook, “Baba O’Reilly” by The Who: David was subjected to Coca-Cola interview #2. David admitted that he was nervous this week because he was expected to perform well. He then admitted that the judges were right to criticize him after the first song. Next thing you know Rocker Dude will admit that he’s been stealing Chris Daughtry's act since the auditions. He chose this song because no one has ever done it on Idol. However, rather than take advantage of the possibility that no one in the audience had heard this song before and sing it straight, Rocker Dude instead put a whole different spin on the song and turned it into a ballad. Interesting. In the second verse he appeared to be slowing down to a Quiet Man-like crawl, and then thankfully he picked it up with the chorus. He tempted us with a fast tempo at the bridge, but he remembered that he only had 1:45 to sing a 5 minute song and immediately jumped to a big note ending. It was a rather abrupt and someone awkward ending. Overall, though, Rocker Dude had his moments. It was not as good as Wonder Boy but it was better than the others including his own first song. Paula wants more, more, more of David Cook and appeared ready to throw him her house keys. Simon was terse and positive.

Rascal Flatts was in the house and helped Trained Seal with his second iTunes pimping. I wonder what happened to that eye candy that could imitate Rascal Flatts and Britney Spears but could not sing in her own voice? Speaking of eye candy, we got a quick shot of Hugh Jackman look-alike Luke Menard lurking in the audience.

Syesha Mercado, “A Change is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke: I liked the song choice, and for once Yes In Her Name was good enough for me to pay attention to her performance. She showed off her big voice at some rather awkward moments, but unlike her other vocal exercises Syesha actually shows some restraint this time. To be honest it didn't connect with me as well as Sam Cooke’s original did but it was more interesting than her usual bland performances. Randy, however, was not happy, I guess because Syesha wasn't pretending like she was in the cast of Hair. The Dawg also didn't like how Yes In Her Name changed the arrangement. Paula gave Syesha a standing seal clap and a 100% opposite critique from Randy, which actually elicited real tears from the Ford actress. I think this was the first time someone has cried after comments from Paula. Usually the contestants just look befuddled. Then everyone looked befuddled when Simon agreed with Paula. The Dawg felt isolated and alone without Captain Jack backing him up and tries to backtrack from his negativity like Drunk Chick usually does.

Jason Castro, ”Mr. Tambourine Man” by Bob Dylan: Go figure, Quiet Man sang a folk song. Going back to the coffee house style that has helped keep him on the show along with his dreads and blue eyes, Jason ditched the band and went acoustic with only his guitar. However, he made the cardinal sin and forgot about two or three lyrics of a Bob Dylan song. If the average age of the American Idol audience is in fact in their 40’s Quiet Man is in big trouble for that mistake. You don’t pull on Superman’s cape and you don’t mess around with Dylan’s lyrics within earshot of Boomers unless you are Bob Dylan. Now I have heard Bob Dylan. Bob Dylan is a friend of someone, and Quiet Man is not Bob Dylan. I know, that was a long way to go for a predictable punch line, but like Jason I’m reaching here. The rest of the song was typical Quiet Man stuff. Ringer Girl gave him a standing O but the judges were not so generous. Randy was ready to slug him. Paula struggled to say something positive. Simon told Quiet Man to pack his bags. Not even Ryan was willing to bail him out this time.

David Archuleta, “Love Me Tender” by Elvis Presley: Again Wonder Boy filled us in on musical history as if none of us knew who Elvis was. David wanted to do this song since he’s never done a romantic song on stage yet. Somebody better alert the paramedics because someone in the Peanut Gallery might pass out. It was an odd choice of song for a 16 year old. He put a slightly different arrangement to the song, which was smart since there was no way Wonder Boy could have hit Elvis’s low notes without wheezing. His odd mouth positioning and eye squinting were accentuated when the camera slowly zoomed in for an extreme close up. Still, it was very well done, especially if you didn't watch what was on the screen. The Peanut Gallery somehow survived without a fatality. Simon thought David crushed the competition. Wonder Boy almost fainted after hearing that.

And now the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen...“bleep” off, and get some sleep.

The Final Score: 12 shots at Drunk Chick, 5 shots at Captain Jack, 12 shots at The Dawg, 10 shots at Trained Seal, and 5 shots at the Peanut Gallery. 1 obligatory Chris Daughtry reference (2 if you count Ryan’s) and 3 references to former Idol contestants, all from this season. 8 references to Rock and Roll performers (not counting the ones who originally performed these songs), 3 references to current performers who may or may not make it into the Hall, 3 scary Guiding Stars, 3 hair references, 2 iTunes pimps, 2 Coca-Cola interviews, 1 superhero, 1 Broadway musical, 1 short skirt, 1 cardinal sin, 0 fatalities, and I learned two things about rock and roll music that I didn't know before, neither of which I learned from Wonder Boy.

Your Three Stars of the Night: David A and Syesha all gave some of the better performances of the competition. David C was alright, and finally we saw some real emotion from Syesha. At least I thought it was real. She can't be that good of an actress.

Idol Gives Back (One Night Only): I brought this back because I forgot to point out last week that with Snow White’s elimination all of the contestants who had recording contracts have been eliminated, leaving only Rocker Dude and the reality show vets. Interesting how all four of them were eliminated one right after the other and only after four of the five amateurs were taken off. Oh yeah, this show is not supposed to be rigged, right?

The Fearless Prediction: I would guess that David Cook will be in the Bottom 2 because his performances were weaker than usual and because this is the week when someone surprising gets in the Bottom 2. However, Jason Castro was so embarrassingly awful compared to the others that it would be embarrassing if he were to move on and Cook were to go home. So I boldly predict that Quiet Man will be sent out to the weeds tomorrow night.

And just in case you forgot "We're Brothers Forever":

Denial is a River in Egypt

Normally I save these posts for Tuesdays but I saw this AP article today and thought it was worth posting. My comments follow:

Erosion in young audience shows cracks in `Idol' future

By DAVID BAUDER, AP Television Writer

NEW YORK - The fevered response to the latest loopy Paula Abdul episode, where she judged a phantom performance, just goes to show how "American Idol" continues to dominate television in its seventh season.

Yet while "Idol" is still a hit, it's no longer necessarily hip.

You can hear it in the lack of enthusiasm in 14-year-old Katharine Bohrs' voice.

"Last year I was really into it, and the year before that," said the high school freshman from Brookline, Mass. "This year in the beginning I was, but then track started up and I have a lot of homework. It's two hours long and I don't have the time."

She used to watch regularly with a friend. Now her friend records it and watches only occasionally, Bohrs said.

Statistics back up the anecdote. Audience declines for "American Idol" are steepest among youthful viewers, the people who set the pop culture agenda and are most likely to buy music made by the show's winners. These are not the people you want to turn off.

Make no mistake, "American Idol" is still the biggest thing on television. It is the reason why Fox will end the TV season later this month as the nation's most-watched network for the first time in history.

The show is averaging 28.7 million viewers this year, according to Nielsen Media Research. That's down 7 percent from the nearly 31 million viewers who watched last year. It's also typical — maybe better than typical: in this writers strike-marred season, "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" has shed 19 percent of its viewers, "Grey's Anatomy" is down 20 percent and "Survivor" is off 9 percent from last spring's edition.

"We're not in denial that the ratings are down," said Preston Beckman, Fox's chief scheduling executive. "There are things that we can control and there are things that we can't control. I defy anyone to show you a hit show that has been on for seven seasons that is at the level this one is on relative to where it started."

Among women aged 18 to 34, the "American Idol" audience has slipped 18 percent this year. Isolate teenagers 12-to-17, and the drop is 12 percent.

The median age of an "American Idol" viewer, once in the mid-30s, is now up to 42, Nielsen said.

And — horror of horrors — viewership is actually UP this season among people aged 50 and over. Those are the folks many television tastemakers pretend don't exist.

At the beginning of "American Idol," contestants like winner Kelly Clarkson seemed more sincere and devoted to their singing, said Chrissy Will, 16, a resident of California's suburban Orange County. Now they seem more focused on publicity and fame, she said.

"It's completely repetitive," Will said. "It's the same thing as the year before."

Her friend, Tina Oram, 17, said "Idol" now seems boring and over-promoted. She's more interested in watching dance contests (ABC's "Dancing With the Stars" is up in the ratings this season.)

"You can't not put your heart into dancing," she said.

Shows focused on the music of Neil Diamond and Andrew Lloyd Webber may also not have been the most youth-friendly choices. But no level of targeted mentoring can trump up the talent.

"The talent this year I don't think is as great as it has been," said Steve Rifkin, rap impresario and founder of Loud Records. "You're not going to hit a home run every year. I still think it's the most powerful show on TV."

Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Clay Aiken and Chris Daughtry set standards for "American Idol" contestants that are hard to top; last year's winner Jordin Sparks has had two radio hits, but so-so record sales. This year has lacked a breakout personality, even in a negative sense. Fans won't soon forget Sanjaya Malakar.

As for this year's contestants, Bohrs, from Massachusetts, just seems disinterested.

"I've only watched half the season so far so I don't know the contestants as well as I did last year," she said. "Last year I felt like I knew them personally and not this season."

Comments like that will likely drive Mike Darnell nuts. The chief of Fox's alternative programming said one of the biggest efforts in the show this year was to try to make the contestants people that the audience felt they knew.

Fox has several theories about the ratings slip this year, foremost that it would have been unusual for it NOT to slip. The writers strike, even though it didn't affect "American Idol" specifically, siphoned interest from TV in general, Darnell said. Young people are most likely to try new technologies, taking away from time spent in front of the TV, he said.

"You can always do things to get younger viewers back," Beckman said. "I don't think you have lost them forever."

Darnell pointed to MTV for the example it set in making itself over several times to appeal to generations of viewers who never heard of Martha Quinn.

"American Idol" needs no such overhaul. But the slippage has been noted and will be responded to, said the Fox executives.

"We've never been apathetic about the show, nor have the producers," Darnell said. "Every year there have been changes."

___
AP Television Writer Lynn Elber contributed to this report.

So basically Fox and the American Idol producers are not in denial that Idol's ratings are down, but they are in denial as to why. The comments from the tweeners tell the whole story. Despite the best efforts of the producers this year's contestant pool is more focused on fame than they are in singing. They don't want it bad enough, it shows in their performances, and the audience has picked up on it. The producers attempted to feature the contestants more than previous years, only to find that the contestants were not worth featuring as much as previous years. This group is boring and plastic, and the producers only have themselves to blame. They are the ones that stacked the deck with the ringers/discovered talent, and they were the ones that booted out the only amateurs that were halfway interesting.

You may think that I am bitter about Idol and ready to jettison this blog. No way, sunshine, this group of posers have given me plenty of material to comment on. And there's always Paula.

Interesting that AP found a music producer who thought this year's talent wasn't as good as previous years, in contrast to what Ryan had been claiming for several weeks (note the use of past tense). Also interesting that the average age of the Idol audience is actually older than I am. That, and the insightful comments from the tweeners, lead me to think I may be more in tune with the Idol audience than I had thought. I doubt it'll make my predictions any more accurate though....

As for the challenge layed down by Preston Breckman, I found that there have been shows that had better ratings in their seventh season relative to where they started. Cheers, Seinfeld, 60 Minutes, Family Ties, Friends, Dynasty, Dallas, and Fox's own The Simpsons all had better ratings in their 7th season compared to their first. Sounds like more denial to me.