The Kiss of Death in this Competition is to Doubt Yourself

According to Google's stats only 4 people viewed yesterday's post, so far anyway. I must have scared people off by threatening to take this week off.... Yeah, right.

So it's Solo Day for the dudes, the "most important moment of their lives" if Trained Seal is to be believed for the umpteenth million time. Not a day goes by on this show without Ryan claiming it's the most important day/moment/performance/nanosecond of the contestants' lives. You know, this would make for a cool Idol drinking game. Everyone takes a shot whenever Trained Seal says it's the most important whatever in the contestants' lives. Everyone would be so blitzed by the end of the show that they wouldn't be able to vote.

Once again we have another change to the format, as instead of locking the contestants in windowless and chairless conference rooms after their performances the judges announced the contestants' fate right away on the stage. I kind of miss the rooms though, since it was fun to see how the producers would try to mess with the heads of the contestants and the audience by trying to guess who was going home by who was in each room. It was also a challenge to try and guess which judge would bail out of the room tour for some imaginary gig that night.

I hope this doesn't mean that there won't be a chair show...

Last night I joked that the Hollywood shows were being staged in some nondescript theater in the Valley somewhere instead of in Hollywood. Turns out I was right! Hollywood Week was held in a nondescript theater in the Valley, this one. Technically this doesn't count as a Fearless Prediction but I'll take the win anyway. I get the feeling that I'll need it once the live shows start and the texting tweener chicks take over the show.

Jaws was in good form tonight. She first ripped into a guy who sang great but sounded "so defeated" when he talked about how nervous he was before he started to sing. He was still put through. Later she complained that she didn't get a chance to tell the short guy yesterday to stop using his short stature to get sympathy votes from the judges, which drew out eye rolls from both Glitter Girl and Sole Survivor. Funny thing is that Nicki was spot on with that comment. Jaws got really angry with Papa Peachez, who she singlehandedly pushed through to this round even though Papa thought that all the other contestants were puppets. After another lackadaisical performance from Papa Nicki wasn't just disappointed but f***ing disappointed and declared that Papa's flame was dead. Oh the irony. Papa was sent packing after that. Then later when the shy kid sang Jaws declared that she was obsessed with the kid and wanted to eat him. Is this some new thing among the kidz today, to say that they want to eat somebody when they like that person?

Nicki wasn't alone in the criticism though, as the harshest criticism of the night came not from Jaws but from Mr. Kidman, who ripped into a dude who claimed he was chasing his dream. Keith straight up told him that the answer to why someone would go out on the road and rehearse and do all the other things that someone who doesn't look hot needs to do to be a successful singing superstar should never be "chasing a dream." I didn't quite get what Mr. Kidman was going for with that comment but the contestant sure did take it hard. The dude stormed off the set in tears and then after getting cut from the show soon thereafter stormed out of the theater in even more tears.

I am pleased to see that the judges are not holding back on the mean criticism as much as Jagger Lite and J-Lo did. It makes it more fun for me. The real test though will be whether or not they'll be able to make harsh comments while being loudly booed and hissed at by the live audience that goes after anyone, even Trained Seal, who dares utter a word that is even remotely negative or critical.

Finally there was one dude who claimed that the highlight of his Idol experience was getting a standing ovation from Sole Survivor. He must have been really honored then to hear Randy say "no, no, no" at the start of his performance (when he was trying to actually sing the song), then "yes, yes, yes" when he gave up the singing and just belted out some big notes. He was put through to the next round along with the Turbinator and 26 other dudes.

Things We Learned Tonight: Mr. Kidman wants to hear something special, has never had so many questions in his life, and can bring a man to tears with just a comment. Jaws is turned off by dudes that are nervous, has a nasty potty mouth, is no fan of pity parties, and now has two contestants that she wants to eat. And there is at least one guy who respects Sole Survivor. Glitter Girl has been playing things really close to the vest during the Hollywood shows. We'll see how long that lasts when the chicks try to sing one of her songs or when Jaws claims she is being disrespected again.

Sob Stories of the Night: Again, nothing new. Tonsillectomy guy and the short dude who isn't a midget were sent home, but the stutterer and the shy kid (who's suddenly not all that shy) were both put through. I guess we'll find out later about the others. There was still no sign of the guy who faked the IED impotence story at his audition.

The Final Score: 15 more cuts, leaving 28 dudes still on the show and 8 that'll get cut after the chicks' performances. Read into that what you will conspiracy theorists. 2 mentions of former Idol judges, 1 disappearing sob story, 4 dudes who got the chastising of their lives on the most important moment in their lives, 1 preseason victory for yours truly, and no performances with guitars. There's another thing for you conspiracy minded folks to consider. Me, I'm going to bed.