The Devil Went Down to Georgia

American Idol pays its fourth visit to Atlanta in 7 seasons. One wonders if it's because it is Ryan Seacrest's hometown. Seriously, how much stroke does this guy have? It's also the 4th audition in the South this season. Let's see, they had one audition in the Northeast (Philadelphia), one in the Midwest (Omaha), one in the West (San Diego), and 4 in the South (Dallas, Charleston, Miami, and now Atlanta). Well now we know why there are so many Idol contestants from Dixieland. Among those who auditioned in Atlanta in the past include Clay Aiken, Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson, and Season 3 winner Fantasia.

We are greeted by a young lad welcoming us to "E-lanta", which is either yet another annoying Atlanta nickname ("Hotlanta", "the ATL", you get the idea) or a new laxative. We're also greeted by Ryan's parents who thankfully don't talk about how great their little boy is but are seen to be very impressed by one dude's spinning wheel rim.

Our first auditioner is 26 year old Josh Jones from Atlanta. He has a "passion for glass" he tells us, though that passion appears to be only in cutting it. You would think someone with a "passion" would be into stained glass or prisms or something artsy. Go figure. He sings Queen's "Don’t Stop Me Now" with a menacing look in his eyes, so much so that it scares the judges. He's got a decent voice though, so the judges give him another chance by asking him to turn around and sing with his back to them. Simon makes his first Clay Aiken reference of the night, and then breaks out both "cabaret" and "karaoke" to describe Jones' performance. Simon is of course a no but Randy and Paula both say yes and he is off to Hollywood. Hopefully he'll buy some sunglasses while he's there.

After two chicks in firefighter garb welcome us to "Hotlanta" we meet J.P Tjelmeland from Auburn, Alabama. He had a brush with fame in Season 4 when he sat two seats away from Carrie Underwood at the auditions. He claims to have spoken to her a few times while they were waiting for their auditions and regrets not "keeping in touch". Betcha Carrie is on the phone right now trying to get a hold of him and renew acquaintances. He sings "Me and My Gang" by Rascal Flatts. Is it just me or are a lot of auditioners this season singing Rascal Flatts' songs? I don't think I've ever heard even one of their songs except on American Idol. Tjelmeland sings it in a high pitched monotone that Simon immediately criticizes. J.P. claims he's a music singing major in college, which blows Randy away. No from both guys, but Paula can't bring herself to say no even though her vote no longer counts. This leads us to a lengthy montage of Paula not being able to say no to the contestants, which actually is more of a feature about Simon pressuring Paula to make a decision than about Paula's reluctance to make one.

Next is Asia Aperson, 18 years old from Joplin, Missouri. She is tonight's One to Feel Sorry For, as her father died in a car accident while she was traveling to Atlanta for the audition. She sings "How Do I Live" by LeAnn Rimes in tribute to her dad, which brings Paula to tears. And no, that's not a criticism of Paula, there's a line that even I won't cross. Aperson has got a lot of air in her voice but she sang it in tune. All three judges praise her for her bravery and vote yes for Hollywood. It'll be interesting to see how she does once she is several months removed from her father's death.

After a much needed break we get a parade of "Georgia Peaches", pretty much all long hair blondes. One of them, 18 year old University of Florida student Brooke Helvie, gets some additional screen time. She's been performing since the age of 4 and recently was crowned Miss South Florida Fair. Insert your own Cuban jokes here if you dare. She wants to prove that pageant girls can sing by doing "Who's Lovin' You" by the Jackson 5. Insert your own Michael Jackson joke here if you dare. Her voice is not great but decent. She gets three yeses from the judges and she rewards them with a loud squeal. Insert your own Mariah Carey joke here. After she leaves Simon claims that Helvie is "possibly the most annoying person I've ever met in my life." Even more so than American Junior Julie Dubela?

Tonight's Medley of Losers is "Glamorous" by Fergie. I've never heard that song before either, and even though I've heard very few Fergie songs I still correctly guessed that it was hers. Apparently I have a better ear for pop than I do for country. Simon comes up with possibly a better name for this segment than mine, "the American Nightmare."

Eva Miller, 26 from Atlanta, walks in with a lot of sass and attitude. After declaring her love for Simon (a popular theme this year) she tries Vanessa Carlton’s "A Thousand Miles" (another song I've never heard of). She starts dancing around, flaying her arms every which way, until she trips and falls on her number tag. She gets right back up and keeps on going, completely out of tune, until she's ordered to stop. Simon is convinced it's all a joke. "This is not no joke," Miller replies in all seriousness (and double negative). She's convinced that the judges were negative only because she fell down. In reality it was probably the only positive thing about her performance, at least Paula thought so when she complimented Miller for getting up and continuing on after she fell. This world needs more positive people like Paula. It's 3 no's, even from Paula, but Miller still loves Simon anyway even though Paula was the only one who said anything positive.

Alexandra Lushington, 16 from Douglasville, Georgia, brought her 93 year old great grandmother to her audition, and the great grandma ends up getting more screen time. I must say that Great-Grandma is looking pretty good for 93. Lushington starts "My Funny Valentine" kind of flat but it got better when she got to the chorus. She gets 3 quick yeses and a ticket to Hollywood. Ryan didn't say if Great-Grandma was going with her.

Much like the tribute Kelly Clarkson got at the Dallas auditions, it's all Clay Aiken all the time here in Atlanta with a parade of dorks who look like Clay but sound much worse. They also showed Aiken's audition from Season 2 and I couldn't believe how much he looked like a geek. I must say he's looking a lot more stylish now.

We next meet 16 year old too cool for school Nathan Hite from Savannah, Georgia. He trashes those "people" who come out of the auditions crying about how Simon can't judge talent because he's British and promises that he won't do the same. He belts out something resembling "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven, adding alternative rock to the genres with songs and bands that I'm not familiar with. Simon pulls out a new name for this one, "bedroom audition," as if it was someone in his bedroom singing along to a song. Hite is impressed by this and wonders if Simon has a written list of catchy phrases somewhere. He then earns Psycho of the Night status by bringing up Simon's boy band producing past as he leaves. I know, it's pretty weak but that was as close as anyone got tonight. I was tempted to award it to Eva Miller but she was more sad than psycho.

Time for the Chris Daughtry moment. Tonight's designated rocker is Amanda Overmyer, a 22 year old nurse from Millbury, Indiana who rides Harleys for fun. She's got a semi Goth look going with the dark makeup, all black clothes, chains, and two toned hair, though she's keeping it real but only using black and blonde hair color. Randy wonders if Overmyer dresses like this when she's working. She assures both Randy and her patients that she does not. Overmyer does a mean interpretation of Janis Joplin's "Mean Woman" (I think there's been about as many people singing Janis Joplin songs in these auditions as there's been those singing Rascal Flatts songs. At least I've heard of Janis Joplin). It's a bit over the top but it's gritty and earthy. It's 3 yeses for the "Rock and Roll Nurse" (Randy)/ "the Female Chris Daughtry" (Paula). I wonder how Overmyer will do if she makes it into the Top 24 because she's definitely not your typical American Idol popster. Then again, I seem to remember saying the same thing about Chris Daughtry and Taylor Hicks.

Our final Atlanta contestant is 18 year old Josiah Leming from Morristown, Tennessee. Leming has been living in his beat up Ford Taurus for the last 10 months after he dropped out of high school and ran away from home. Since Ford is a major sponsor of the show I wonder if they'll give Leming a new "home" if he makes it into the Top 12. It's not clear how he's making a living but he seems to have enough money to do laundry, judging by how full his clean clothes bag was (though his dirty clothes bag was bigger). He sings his own composition "To Run" and does an OK job of it, better than most contestants singing their own songs do. He's got a British accent in his singing voice, though, that both Simon and Randy (and I) pick up on. Simon loves it, Randy not so much. Simon challenges Leming to sing Scotland's Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars" (make that 2 indie rock bands I've never heard of) and he does a better job with that than he does with his own song. Randy's still not thrilled by the British accent but says yes anyway, followed by yeses from Paula and Simon. Simon closes the audition by proclaiming that "the British are taking over." God Save The Queen.

The Final Score: 19 tickets to Hollywood, 4 digs each at Simon and Paula, 3 references to Clay Aiken, 2 to Chris Daughtry, 1 each to Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, 3 bad Atlanta nicknames, lots of long haired blondes, 3 jokes for you to finish on your own, and 4 songs from bands that I've never heard of. These auditions have been quite a musical education for me.

The Stars of the Night: No auditions blew me away but Asia Aperson, Brooke Helvie, Alexandra Lushington, Amanda Overmyer, and Josiah Leming all have potential and will be worth watching next week when they show the Hollywood auditions. I'm not looking forward to recapping that show.

Tomorrow it's the Best of the Rest, including an encore of Renaldo Lapuz's performance, my vote for best audition of the season. I still can't get that song out of my head.