Planets Exploding To Life

Well, here we are my friend. We have reached the end of another season of American Idol. Fox announced this week that there will be a Season 13 next year; perhaps to the surprise of some. I was originally surprised, until I realized that Fox probably has nothing waiting in the queue to replace Idol except for maybe another Gordon Ramsey show. Lord knows The X-Factor isn't ready to make the move, at least until Captain Jack can convince Trained Seal to make the jump over to the dark side and take Mario Lopez's spot.

Tonight's show was only an hour long so that Fox could promote Nigel's goofy dance show down the hall, so the show began without the traditional finale opening of Trained Seal standing in front of the audience in a sold out Nokia Theater. The entire theater was never shown so I wonder how full it really was. Trained Seal announced the attendance as 7,000 and the posted capacity of the Nokia is 7,100 so technically it was a sellout, but I don't know...

There was no big voice intro for the judges either so we don't know if either Glitter Girl or Jaws were wearing short skirts. Considering it was Kree and Candice performing I wondered if we would see any shorts at all tonight. Mr. Kidman dressed for the occasion with a T-shirt. Sole Survivor was in a purple sport coat, his traditional finale wardrobe.

Before the singing began Trained Seal asked the crowd for a voice vote on who should win. It sounded to me like Kree had more support, but Ryan didn't bother to say who he thought had a louder reaction. Tonight's themes were Simon Fuller's (aka "the other Simon") choice, the contestant's first single written by some unknown, and a reprise of their favorite song of the season. Unlike season's past the first single was inserted into Round Two instead of at the end, I guess so that the show didn't close on a down note like it did when the final two sang one of Horny Chick's songs or a song from a contest.

In the spirit of speeding up this recap to match the show's pace, I'll return to the old school style of recaps:

Kree Harrison, "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin: Kree won the coin toss and elected to go first, a decision that she might regret later on. She and/or Andy Cap modified the song arrangement to make the song more country, which would have been OK had not Kree tried to rush through it as much as she did. This is not a song that a singer hoping to win would want to rush through. Her performance was OK pitch wise but the pace was off and it was lacking in emotion, another bad thing to do with a song like this. I wonder what Simon was thinking when he picked this song because it really didn't fit Kree very well.

Over the weekend I heard "I'm The Only One" by Melissa Etheridge on the radio. Now that song would have fit Kree well. Oh well, too late now...

Candice Glover, "Chasing Pavements" by Adele: I had to look up who sang this song since Trained Seal didn't bother to announce it. I guess Ryan forgot that not all of us are as in tune into pop culture as he is. Candice began the song mostly in her low register, which was OK but not her strong suit. It's like driving a Honda when you can afford a Porsche. She took it up a bit towards the second half of the song, turning it into a smooth jazz number with a run or two to get the crowd excited. It was a decent vocal but not very inspiring.

After Candice left the stage Trained Seal asked Glitter Girl and Sole Survivor for their comments. Mariah was speechless but still managed to babble on for 5 minutes about how proud of America she was for how they voted. Sole Survivor dropped a YO and gave Round 1 to Candice because Kree's performance was too sleepy. Randy also criticized the song choices of "the boss", which Trained Seal thought Sole Survivor could get away with since he was leaving.

Instead of a Coca Cola Treatment we were treated to Carly Rae Jepsen's Coca-Cola contest song that you all apparently helped write and choreograph. The song was a decent little number but the choreography was pretty weak, especially the fireworks that you apparently designed. Carly wore the first short skirt of the night, thank you to whomever of you voted for that. Towards the end of the song I could tell that Carly was lip syncing. I'd guess Nigel did too since there were no more close ups of Carly singing after that.

Trained Seal introduced Round 2 with a groupie named Gloria draped over his shoulder. He made the mistake of giving her a kiss on her forehead. Trained Seal also pimped Phillip Phillips' single from last season's finale, "Home", as the biggest selling Idol single of all time. I wonder how many people out there can name which song is #2 without looking it up on Wikipedia. No, neither can I.

Kree, "All Cried Out": Kree sang a country ballad for her first single, which you can download RIGHT NOW on the Idol web site. Don't worry, I'll wait...
This song was pretty sleepy too, but Kree clearly tried her best to make the most of it, even throwing in some runs and big notes to try and make it interesting. It wasn't memorable but it was technically better and more emotional than her first performance. Everybody but Jaws gave Kree a standing O.

Candice, "I am Beautiful": Whoever wrote this songs did their homework, giving Kree a country ballad and Candice a power ballad as their first singles. Simon should give that person a raise, especially since that person made Simon's song choices appear even more pathetic. Candice stayed in her mid-range throughout this song, staying out of the low register that she had trouble with in her first song. Towards the end I thought Candice was going to do a Jordin and start crying while she was singing, but she managed to hold it together until the end. It was well sung. She might even make some money for Andy Cap with that single. All the judges gave Candice a standing O, with her biggest fan Glitter Girl the first on her feet.

After Trained Seal shooed Candice off the stage he asked Mr. Kidman and Jaws for their comments. Mr. Kidman thought Candice's song "fit her like a glover" but still gave the round to Kree. Jaws thought Kree reached down into her gut like she never had before but still gave the round to Candice.

Kree, "Up To The Mountain": Kree first sang this song during the Vegas shows. Here's what I had to say then, from February 20:

Next was Kree Harrison, the chick whose parents died when she was a kid. She was the only chick who wore clothes that covered up her thighs but that didn’t seem to affect Nicki’s opinion of her. Indeed, Jaws declared that she thought Kree was “sexy”. Kree revealed that she has worked in the country music “industry” in Nashville, raising the antennas of all those plant watchers out there. Kree sang like a plant with a nice voice, though it didn’t blend well with the backup singers. The other judges all thought that Kree was a natural and heaped nothing but praise on her, even though Trained Seal beforehand warned Kree that the judges were being tough on the country singers.

I honestly don't remember how Kree sang this song the first time. I'm pretty sure that she didn't sing it like this because I would have remembered it if she had. This performance was a gospel ballad that was pretty inspiring actually. Her tone, pitch, and rhythm were all there, and unlike the first song there was plenty of emotion in this one. Kree sang the song like it would be her last. I actually felt a goose bump, the first time I felt one that wasn't during one of Candice's performances. This performance might very well have saved her from losing in a landslide and might even be enough to win. The judges all gave Kree a standing O and got to comment on the performance afterwards. Outside of a YO from Sole Survivor none of the comments were worth mentioning.

Candice, "I, Who Have Nothing": Personally I would have preferred to hear "Love Song" again but this was probably a wiser choice since there was no way Candice could have improved on her performance of the Cure song. Candice did this song on Top 10 week on March 13, when I had this to say:

Trained Seal Coca-Cola'd Candice Glover into talking about her family, who flew out from South Carolina on their first ever plane trip to see her sing. She sang "I, Who Have Nothing", the song that Trained Seal claimed Jordin Sparks won Season 6 by singing. Personally I still remember her performance of "You Never Walk Alone" as being the one that won her that season. I also remember Sole Survivor asking Jordin how a 16 year old who never had a boyfriend could possibly relate to that song. Candice assured us that she had no such trouble relating to this song, and then proved it by emoting big time during her performance. Wow it was good, not just best of the night but best of the season so far. No question I felt goosebumps this time. Mr. Kidman named dropped Shirley Bassey, who I discovered is originally from Wales. Jaws thought Candice sang it so well that no one should ever sing that song on Idol ever again because it would pale in comparison. Sole Survivor dropped a YO and fist pumped the air. Glitter Girl claimed that she would have given Candice a standing ovation but couldn't because her skirt was too tight to allow her to stand up. This revelation inspired the first "Is Trained Seal Gay" banter of the season when Mariah claimed that Ryan knew how to work a skirt.

Candice gave us two surprises with her second performance of this song. The first was that sang the first half a cappella without any accompaniment. The second was that she wore a short skirt for the first time all season. I'm not sure which of the two was a bigger roll of the dice but they both worked. What better way to show off a powerful voice than to sing without a band or backup singers to drown everything out? It was par excellence, even better than the first time she performed the song. 4 more standing O's from the judges, who all rose in unison this time. Mr. Kidman compared her performance to a "planet exploding to life." Jaws admired Candice's legs. Sole Survivor dropped 2 YOs and claimed Candice "shot the night to a whole 'nother level." Glitter Girl thanked Candice for letting her be part of the Candice experience.

Trained Seal signed off at 9:01 and promised lots of surprises for the finale tomorrow, when the results will likely be announced at 9:59.

Things We Learned Tonight: Don Cheadle likes nature shows with penguins. Erica had a rough day. Hyundai's cars can email you and tell you how they feel. There's yet another movie coming out that includes the White House getting blown up. Kree appeared on Rosie O'Donnell's show when she was a kid. Candice tried out in Seasons 9 and 11 but not Season 10 as I had thought. I still blame Sole Survivor for not putting her through though. Carly Rae Jepsen was a finalist on Canadian Idol in 2007. Trained Seal thinks AT&T is your lifeline. Glitter Girl is proud of America because of how they voted. Jaws likes Candice's legs. Mr. Kidman's idea of formal attire is a T shirt. Sole Survivor is now free to criticize "the boss" since he's leaving. What are they going to do, fire him?

Your Three Stars of the Night: Each performance was better than the last, so 2 stars go to Candice and 1 star goes to Kree. It seemed like both Kree and Candice upped their game each time to stay ahead of the other and it was fun to watch. This finale was probably the best since Ruben and Clay battled it out in Season 2, maybe even better. It was like a high scoring basketball game where the winning team would be the team that would have the ball last. I told you that Kree was going to regret choosing to go first and let Candice go last.

The Final Score: 6 ballads; 5 big notes; 2 short skirts; 4 YOs from Sole Survivor; no #POWs from Glitter Girl; 15 standing Os; 3 Nigel Lythgoe mentions; 3 Simon Fuller mentions; 1 Gordon Ramsey mention; 1 mention of a former Canadian Idol contestant, 1 mention of a former American Idol contestant; 2 mentions of former Idol winners; 2 mentions of a former Idol judge; 0 name drops, cute Asian back up singer sightings, or Andy Cap sightings; 1 Trained Seal groupie; 2 foreign phrases; 2 car references; 1 singer caught lip syncing; 7,000 in attendance; and 2 goose bumps.

The Fearless Prediction: I had Kree with a slight edge going into the final stretch, and while she didn't pull up lame Candice was still the better singer tonight. Candice has shown an innate ability to pull magic out of her hat when she had to and tonight was no exception. She's also been my favorite since the live shows so for those reasons, plus the fact that it would be appropriate for the best singer to actually win a singing competition on Sole Survivor's last night, my fearless prediction is that Candice is going to be crown the next American Idol tomorrow night.

Yes, tomorrow night. I love these one hour shows...