Everyone Take Their Seats

Because of changes to the format for the chair show I actually have to recap it. Thanks a lot, guys. I was hoping for the night off. Even still, since most of the show was still the same stuff we are used to seeing - contestants make a long walk (and this time it was really long), the judges make a long spiel, the contestants learn their fate and then cry a lot – I can keep this relatively short.

54 contestants showed up at a plush mansion that Trained Seal claimed was the “judge’s mansion.” So do Captain Jack, Drunk Chick, Sexual Chocolate, and Horny Chick all live together or something? Is that why Kara was brought in? Such important questions were never explained.

There were 5 sing-offs between contestants that the judges claimed they were on the fence about. Each one was told to sing “for their lives.” I guess the firing squad was hiding in the fireplace. The results were:

- Alex Wagner-Trugman beat Cody Shelton, the high school guy who makes horror movies.

- Kristen McNamara defeated Jenn Korbee. Jenn auditioned with her husband and both of them made it to Hollywood Week, except that we never saw either of them until Jenn was taken down.

- Jessie Langseth beat Frankie Jordan, who was told by Captain Jack that she would not have won anyway just to cheer her up.

- Nathaniel Marshall defeated Jackie Midkiff, a dude we had not seen until now. We also learned that Nathaniel has been bouncing around from family member to family member after his mom was sent to prison on a drug charge.

- Blue collar guys Matt Breitzke and Michael Sarver battled to a draw. Both dudes were put through.

Among the 18 contestants who were sent home was Danny Gokey's BFF Jamar Rodgers, who judging from the reaction of the other contestants was very popular. I would bet if the producers had asked the contestants they would have put Jamar through and sent Tatiana Del Toro home instead, but then the producers have different priorities so Jamar is done and Tatiana moves on. TK Nash from the Jacksonville auditions was also sent home. The rest were all folks that had never been given TV time until they were told they were out. I imagine they would have a hard time convincing their friends that they were even on the show.

And now here is your Top 36:

Adam Lambert, 26, Hollywood, CA, from the San Francisco auditions. He is the “Wicked” cast member whose first concert he attended at age 10 was Paula’s.

Alexander Wagner-Trugman, 19, Studio City, CA, from the Phoenix auditions. He taught himself to sing in his closet and got sick from the mold.

Alexis Grace, 20, Memphis, TN, from the Louisville auditions. The father of her child was off at military school during her audition but she is now billed as a “single mother.”

Allison Iraheta, 16, Los Angeles, CA, from the San Francisco auditions. She had 10 seconds of air time at her audition and had no air time in Hollywood but showed a good voice. The judges consider her to be the dark horse.

Anne Marie Boskovich, 22, Nashville, TN, from the Jacksonville auditions. She was allowed to re-audition after finding a make-up artist in Jacksonville to help her overcome her shyness. She is one of many contestants that Horny Chick thought was “sexy.”

Anoop Desai, 21, Chapel Hill, NC, from the Kansas City auditions. He studied BBQ at the University of North Carolina as part of his thesis on myths in southern culture. Simon thought he was a computer geek.

Arianna Ayesha Afsar, 16, from San Diego, CA, from the Phoenix auditions. She sang in a karaoke bar at age 6 and started the “Adopt the Grandfriend” club at her school.

Brent Keith, 28, Blanchester, OH, from the Louisville auditions. His audition inspired Simon to use the word “buskerish” and inspired Kara and Paula to make out under the judges table.

Casey Carlson, 20, Minneapolis, MN, from the Kansas City auditions. She is the bubble tea maker that may fill the requisite country singer slot.

Danny Gokey, 28, Milwaukee, WI, from the Kansas City auditions. His wife died 4 weeks before his audition. His BFF Jamar Rodgers just missed the Top 36.

Jackie Tohn, 27, Silver Lake, CA, from the New York auditions. She sang like Tom Waits at her audition and like Amanda Overmyer during Hollywood Week. It was after her audition in New York that the window on the set fell on the judges.

Jasmine Murray, 16, Stockville, MS, from the Jacksonville auditions. She survived a rough child birth and then survived Bikini Girl on group night.

Jeanine Vailes, 27, Sherman Oaks, CA, from the San Francisco auditions. Never seen on TV before now.

Jessie Langseth, 25, Minneapolis, MN, from the Kansas City auditions. Never seen on TV until she beat Frankie Jordan in a sing-off.

Joanna Pacitti, 23, Philadelphia, PA, from the Louisville auditions. She is the ringer who once had a record deal with A&M. Despite butchering every song during Hollywood Week she was still put through.

Jorge Nunez, 20, Carolina, PR, from the San Juan auditions. He proved in his audition that can sing in both English and Spanish.

Ju'not Joyner, 26, Bowie, MD, from the New York auditions. He was not seen until Hollywood and flew under the radar all the way to the Top 36.

Kai Kalama, 26, San Clemente, CA, from the San Francisco auditions. He is the guy who has been taking care of his mom after her seizure. He showed off a classic jazz voice in his audition.

Kendall Beard, 23, Austin, TX, from the San Juan auditions. She was not seen until Hollywood. The judges accused her of singing boring songs but she was still put through.

Kristen McNamara, 22, Napa, CA, from the Louisville auditions. She too was not seen until Hollywood, but she more than made up for it with a dramatic Hollywood Week. She survived the tantrums of her teammates on group night and then won a sing-off versus fellow blond Jenn Korbee to get through, even after the two chicks criticized her wardrobe and Captain Jack told her that Jenn was more attractive.

Kris Allen, 23, Conway, AK, from the Louisville auditions. He got 5 seconds of air time at his audition and got 5 more tonight.

Lil Rounds, 23, Memphis, TN, from the Kansas City auditions. She lost her apartment in a tornado. She adequately fills the requisite diva slot and is considered an early favorite.

Matt Breitzke, 27, Bixby, OK, from the Kansas City auditions. He is the welder that pushed Paula to cut to the chase at the end of Hollywood Week but asking “so it’s a no, right?”

Matt Giraud, 23, Kalamazoo, MI, from the Louisville auditions. He is the dueling piano player who reminded Simon of Elliott Yamin.

Megan Corkrey, 23, Sandy, UT, from the Salt Lake City auditions. She is the stringy blond with an arm full of tattoos that got me in trouble for making assumptions about her being a stringy blond with an arm full of tattoos.

Michael Sarver, 27, Jasper, TX, from the Phoenix auditions. He is the oil rig roughneck with a decent tenor voice.

Mishavonna Henson, 18, Irvine, CA, from the Phoenix auditions. She was not seen until Hollywood and was cut last season at Hollywood Week.

Nathaniel Marshall, 18, Malone, NY, from the New York auditions. He was not seen until Hollywood but like Kristen McNamara he more than made up for it. He couldn't explain why he was so full of songs and then had a nervous breakdown during Hollywood Week when his teammates, including Kristen, kept bickering with each other. Like Kristen he too survived a sing-off with an unknown guy.

Nick Mitchell, 27, Brookfield, CT, from the New York auditions. “Norman Gentle” shocked the world by making it to the Top 36. Words cannot adequately describe him.

Ricky Braddy, 25, Nashville, TN, from the Louisville auditions. Never seen until tonight.

Scott MacIntyre, 23, Scottsdale, AZ, from the Phoenix auditions. He is the blind guy who graduated from Arizona State University at age 19 and was a shoo-in for the Top 36 even before Hollywood Week. Horny Chick told him that they “wanted to see him again.”

Stephen Fowler, 26, Beachwood, OH, from the New York auditions. He was not seen before Hollywood. He aced Stevie Wonder on Hollywood Day 1 but then fell apart on Day 4 when he couldn't finish his song.

Stevie Wright, 16, from Phelan, CA, from the Phoenix auditions. She claimed she named after Stevie Nicks. Captain Jack didn't think she was selfish enough at her audition.

Taylor Vaifanua, 16, Hurricane, UT, from the Salt Lake City auditions. She is the tallest female contestant (5’-11”) since Jordin Sparks. Her family moved from Samoa to further her singing career, leading some to suspect that she is a ringer.

Tatiana Del Toro, 23, San Juan, PR, from the San Francisco auditions. Along with Nick the biggest surprise of the Top 36. She is the designated lunatic who resorted to singing every time she thought she was being rejected and is being portrayed as the least popular person among the contestants. When she ran into the waiting room screaming that she was through only Nathaniel applauded, and it looked like it was only because he was on camera at the time.

Von Smith, 22, Greenwood, MO, from the Kansas City auditions. He looks and sounds like an older David Archuleta and was called an indulgent child by Simon after his first Hollywood Week song.

Next week we go live with the first 12 of the Top 36. Once again I’ll try and write the recap as I watch it. It will abuse my DVR remote but I will get to write in the present tense. I have spent countless hours editing my recaps from present to past tense so it will be nice to not do that anymore.