Everything is Beginning to Suck

Finally after 12 seasons Idol has come to Sole Survivor's hometown of Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Should it mean anything that this is the first time there have been auditions in Randy's hometown but there have been upteen million auditions in Trained Seal's hometown of Atlanta? How bout the fact that in their first season as judges Idol had auditions in NYC, hometown of both Jaws and Glitter Girl? Yes I know that New York and Atlanta are much larger cities than Baton Rouge, but that doesn't quite work with my narrative...

There were no cat fights tonight, funny in that these auditions were 3 days after the auditions in Charlotte where the chicks allegedly went after each other. The only reference was at the very, very end of the show when Mr. Kidman called Nicki "Mariah" and then said he needed to do some Hail Marys for forgiveness. I'm starting to get the feeling that we are being played...

Some of the more interesting contestants included a firefighter that Jaws hit on and thought would make a great country star (see my last post for background on that comment), and a physician. Yes, a real doctor with a real residency. We haven't seen too many of those try out for this show, let alone get a ticket to Hollywood.

Sole Survivor made a field visit to Cafe du Monde in New Orleans to invite a street singer to audition after she was recommended by her grandma. At least I thought she was a street singer until I saw the graphic identifying her as a student from Virginia. She got a Hollywood ticket even though she wasn't quite what she seemed and that she claimed former Idol contestant Haley Reinhart as an influence.

By the way, I love the beignets at Cafe du Monde. If you've never had Cafe du Monde beignets make sure you put that on your bucket list. You'll thank me later.

The producers thankfully decided not to stage any stupid skit playing off on the stereotypes about people from Louisiana, perhaps out of respect for Sole Survivor. Instead we got a parade of psychos who were upset at being rejected, though none of them really stood out compared to past seasons. We haven't really seen as many psychos this season. I don't know if that is because fewer psychos auditioned this year or if someone figured out that psychos don't sell many Fords or Cokes.

Things We Learned Tonight: Glitter Girl was a beauty school dropout and could identify with the shy kid who uses music as "escapism". Jaws has special powers whenever she has a towel over her head and was blessed by running her fingers through the hair of one of the contestants who she nicknamed "Mushroom". Mr. Kidman's astrological sign is Confused. And of course that Sole Survivor was born in Baton Rouge.

Tonight's Sob Stories: A woman who auditioned three days after being in a car accident and was scheduled for surgery right after her audition (the surgery went well we're told); a guy whose grandpa, who was a sergeant in the Army, had just died; a kid who was so shy that his parents thought he was autistic; and a guy whose family lost their home in New Orleans due to Hurricane Katrina. All four were put through to Hollywood. So far the 12 out of the 13 sob stories featured have been put through.

The Final Score (audition edition): 34 tickets to Hollywood; 1 reference to a former Idol contestant, 1/2 a reference to the alleged feud between the chicks; Sharks 5, Coyotes 3;  1 name drop when Mr. Kidman compared the shy kid to David Bowie; 1 contestant (the afore mentioned shy kid) who Sole Survivor thought was "seemingly dark, strange, but cool guy;" and no stupid skit featuring Trained Seal.

Next week the audition shows are from Texas and the Queen Mary in California. No doubt Kelly Clarkson will be name dropped during the Texas show and there'll be stupid skits involving boats during the California show.