Special Indulgences

Hello and welcome to this special edition of The Armchair Idol Judge! On tonight’s special show the judges select the final 3 contestants for the finals, indulge the 5 remaining others before kicking them to the curb, and cause me to lose even more sleep this week.

As the camera pans around the remaining 8 semi-finalists and the three cold stools positioned at the center of the stage for the finalists, semi-formally dressed Ryan attempts to describe the seriousness of the evening. “It is about the importance of redemption, and the power of tenacity,” Trained Seal tells us. That’s rather arch language, even for Ryan. Apparently Captain Jack thinks so as he makes a comment off camera that stops Trained Seal in his tracks before he gets to “this…is…”

After the credits Trained Seal reviews the protocol for the evening. Each contestant gets a short video intro where they suck up to the judges for bringing them back, and then they sing for their very lives! The judges then get another chance to indulge themselves with more camera time. At the end of the show the judges decide, perhaps after consultation with the producers, which 3 from this group come back for the Top 12. Since the videos do not announce the song each contestant is going to sing and I am about 20 years behind on popular music, it’s going to be challenge for me to identify each one.

Jesse Langseth – “Tell Me Something Good” by Chaka Khan: Jesse wants to show off her vocal range after listening to Sexual Chocolate’s advice. I think she is playing with fire by paying attention to advice from Randy, or for that matter any of the judges. Yes, even me. She starts off mostly in tune and pitch and with an interesting tone to her voice, kind of like Phoebe Snow singing funk. Yes, I am that old. The back-up singers get some airtime after they indulge in some heavy breathing during the chorus that drowns Jesse out. She ends with only a quick shout instead of lots of them. It sounded pretty good to me. I don’t remember her earlier performance but I would bet that this one was better. The audience thinks so anyway, but they are biased. Randy liked the song choice but didn't like the note choice. See, I told you you’re playing with fire when you listen to Sexual Chocolate; do as he says and watch yourself get burned. Horny Chick briefly mentions the pitchiness but then goes on and on about Jesse’s swagger and how well she let lose, even going so far as comparing Jesse to Beyonce’s alter ego Sasha Fierce. Kara looks to Randy while dropping Beyonce’s name as if to get verification from the master name dropper himself. Paula mimics Ryan’s intro by talking about Jesse’s tenacity and determination. Simon confesses that Jesse was the last one chosen for this group. He thought it was better than before but was still “slightly indulgent” and “all about you.” When the other judges complain that tonight is supposed to be about the contestants Captain Jack claims that tonight the show is all about the judges, or basically just him. Jesse thought her performance was great and tries to suck up to Simon by not criticizing his criticism when she is challenged by Trained Seal to do so.

Matt Giraud – “Who’s Loving You” by the Jackson 5: Matt claims that he is “singing for my life,” showing that Piano Man has drunk the Kool-Aid. Thankfully Ryan tells me who originally sang this song, saving me a couple of minutes searching Google for this information. Matt is supporting the stubby beard look tonight along with a goofy hat. Von must be jealous. Little bit pitchy here and there, but then he adds a dramatic pause that gets the tweeners in the audience screaming. Matt then goes on with some self-indulgent runs to close the song. Horny Chick thanks Matt for bringing back the bluesy, soulful guy she wants to sleep with. Paula lauds the song choice and urges him to pick songs like this. Captain Jack exploits Drunk Chick’s odd use of verb tense by peppering her with corrections, which as usual causes Paula to stop talking to the contestant and instead babble about Captain Jack. I suspect that may be why Simon does this so often. Simon thought it was a billion times better than Matt’s last performance but complains about Matt’s outfit and then, as a criticism, claims that he thought Matt was channeling Taylor Hicks. This of course sets off both the judges and the audience. How dare Captain Jack criticize the Soul Patrolman! (who, BTW, is appearing as “Teen Angel” in the touring company of Grease, coming to a playhouse near you). Horny Chick spontaneously shouts “Justin Timberlake”, either to claim that Justin was who Matt was really imitating, or perhaps to demonstrate that she can name drop with the best of them, or perhaps she was starting to describe the long list of singers she would like to sleep with. I get the feeling Horny Chick is getting a high score tonight. Sexual Chocolate thinks Matt put the fear of God in the other 7 contestants. I’m not so sure that the other 7 contestants are not already scared out of their minds tonight to the extent that Matt’s little ditty probably didn't make much difference.

Even though this is a special show Trained Seal still has time to pimp the iTunes store, not once but twice.

Megan Corkrey – “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree” by KT Tunstall: Megan claims that she hopes to rock the house with one of the “jazziest songs around.” I guess they don’t have many radio stations in Sandy, Utah because I can name about 100 tunes that are jazzier than this one. I wonder if she will sit on the stage like Katherine McPhee did both times she sang this song in Season 5. Megan brings back the tummy twist from her last performance, along with a more bluesy tone to her voice. She stays mostly in pitch until the shouting part when she jumps out of key, the opposite of what most Idol contestants do. She ends it with an out of left field screech that the audience loves but sends the guard dogs next door into a tizzy. I know this is supposed to be a singing competition but that stiff butt shake of hers is very distracting, and not in a good way like a sexy chick or a hot fudge sundae. Drunk Chick lauds the sing choice and plays the name game again, incorporating Megan’s middle name “Joy” in her comments. Captain Jack still likes Megan because she is “current” and “original.” I could have sworn it was because Megan is blonde and skinny. He doesn't even bother to criticize her performance even though he has ripped into contestants who have done far better but were not blonde and skinny. Sexual Chocolate likes that she chose a song that fits into the pigeon hole that he wants to put her in. Horny Chick thinks we need Megan because she gives variety to the contestant pool, perhaps because there are only 3 girls in the Top 12 right now and she is probably the best looking of the chicks that are remaining. Well if that is the criteria that Horny Chick is using then Tatiana should be a shoo-in. So if one reads between the lines it would appear that Megan was destined for the Top 12 no matter how she sang tonight.

Von Smith – “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word” by Elton John: Von still has the goofy hairdo so I guess he is not as desperate as his words would have us believe, or else he would have combed it or something. He takes Elton’s vocal and jumps it up a couple of octaves to Justin Timberlake levels. He is back to shouting the chorus again, especially at the end. He promised not to do that, but I guess since everyone else is doing that Von thinks he has to in order stay on this show. I give him points for his sincerity, or at least the appearance of it, in his performance but the shouting and the hairdo kind of put me off. Simon thinks Von is getting to be too boring and too serious, and instead of booing the audience just sighs. Even Paula seems resigned to it. Randy more or less concurs with Simon. Kara thought it went beyond serious and ventured into dark territory. Paula gets really serious, saying that Von seems to be concentrating so much on the technical stuff that his personality is taking a back seat. You know, she is actually right; I can’t make fun of her over this one. It doesn't look good for Mr. Smith. When Paula starts making cogent criticisms of your performance you know you are in trouble.

Jasmine Murray – “Reflection” by Christina Aguilera: In her video Jasmine draws cheers from the audience when she says that she hopes she picked the right song. Why that would draw cheers I couldn't tell you. Thankfully for me Ryan is now telling us the names of the original artists. Jasmine’s dress has an interesting purple shade to it. I would say more but that would be illegal. It starts out rather boring but during the chorus Jasmine starts into an almost straight up imitation of Christina Aguilera, followed by lots of big notes and shouting. At the end Jasmine pulls a swerve and sings the last lines softly. Now if she had only done that for the whole song we would have had something here, but alas Jasmine has fallen into the Idol thinking that big notes and shouting are needed to win this thing. The fact that the audience screams in approval every time a contestant does this is probably the main reason why Jasmine and the others do it. Sexual Chocolate thought it was way better than her last performance but for once doesn't mention Jasmine’s age. While he is doing this Captain Jack is breathing into Paula’s ear. Kara is confused because she didn't think Jasmine had a big voice and now doesn't easily fit into the pop box Horny Chick wants to stuff Jasmine in. Paula lauds her determination and her look. Simon was full of compliments and thought Paula was selling Jasmine short. Captain Jack was joking of course but Drunk Chick was not in on it, as she turns on Simon and asks, with a straight face, “What’s your problem?” Captain Jack blows Paula off and tries to be complimentary to Jasmine while Drunk Chick is pushing him around. Poor Jasmine, it is a good thing viewers are not voting tonight because all of the positive comments would have been forgotten because of these two kids’ antics.

Ricky Braddy – “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder: Hopefully Ricky will sing well enough again tonight to get noticed after the producers forgot to show him during the audition shows. Trained Seal actually claims that Ricky is a “familiar face” even though we have only seen him once. In his intro video Ricky risked his life by inadvertently breaking kayfabe by describing his performance “last night” even though it was 2 weeks ago and we were led to believe that he and the other contestants only found out last night that there would be back for this show. At least that is what Tatiana Del Toro claims later on. Every season at least one singer tries this song and fails to nail it, so with that plus the video thing Ricky is not doing himself any favors so far. Drunk Chick is already on her feet dancing around. He is in fine voice but is slurring half the lyrics. I think he is still singing all the words though. Ricky shouts at end but does it more in tune than most of the other contestants so far. Not great, but not bad either. Horny Chick is happy that Ricky has loosened up and held his own, and ends with a silky “good job” as if she had another picture in her mind. Paula repeats Kara’s comments but without the sexual tone in her voice. Simon liked the vocals but trashes the song choice and the performance as being too clumsy. Randy thought the song choice was too self-indulgent. See, this always happens when someone sings this song. Don’t these kids ever pay attention?

Tatiana Del Toro – “Saving All My Love for You” by Whitney Houston: Tatiana tells us that she has found a love for performing and “is ready to sing for you, America” even though America has no say in her fate this time. To further show just how insane she is Tatiana is singing this song for the third time, even though the last time she sang it two weeks ago the judges panned her for not acting like the drama queen that the producers loved so much and probably got her this far. Trained Seal is very serious as he introduces her, perhaps sensing impending doom and an impending explosion. Again Tatiana shows off her big voice and makes it hard to simply dismiss her as just another Idol crackpot. Paula and Tatiana exchange their love for each other in their unique, wacky sort of ways. For the first time Drunk Chick realizes that Tatiana has an accent, which Tatiana claims is because she was getting emotional like Jorge Nunez was two nights ago when he rediscovered his Puerto Rican accent. I guess if it worked for him Tatiana thinks it can work for her too. It is clear that this girl will do anything, perhaps even sleep with Horny Chick or even Sexual Chocolate, to stay in this competition. Paula’s critique is taking forever because neither she nor Tatiana will stop talking. Simon wonders if Tatiana will sing this song every week and just change the arrangement to fit the designated theme. Tatiana claims that she couldn't clear a better sing with the Idol lawyers in only one day, which Captain Jack dismisses as rubbish since everyone else managed to do that, though apparently Ricky Braddy had two weeks notice. While Tatiana tries to argue that Whitney’s tune is such a good song that she has to sing it again Drunk Chick gets mad at Captain Jack for talking over Tatiana while she pleads her case, even though Paula was doing it too. Hell, all of the judges have been doing that because Tatiana just won’t shut up. Tatiana uses the “if it ain't broke don’t fix it” excuse, which Simon quickly shoots down by pointing that it is broke because that song didn't get her in the Top 12 the last time. Randy pulls a Tatiana and paraphrases the same thing he said last time, and then pulls a Simon and uses a ship analogy to describe how he feels about her performance. Now Randy and Kara are talking over each other as Horny Chick thinks she is watching “The Adventures of Tatiana.” Well of course she is, just as the producers want us all to. Kara also thinks that Tatiana has multiple personalities because she is neither laughing nor crying. Captain Jack dryly predicts that she will, perhaps in, oh, about 10 minutes. Tatiana drops to her knees as she is overcome by the judges’ wacky comments but then stands when she realizes the camera is on her. Trained Seal tells Tatiana that she can stay on her knees, which she quickly does before realizing that either the camera is still on her or thinking that Ryan is planning to propose. She starts walking away as Ryan calls for her to return as he gets on his knees. The judges interpret Trained Seal’s actions as sexual innuendo judging by Horny Chick’s shouts of “family show” and Captain Jack’s claim that Ryan getting on his knees for a chick constitutes a watershed moment in the history of the show.

Well, would you look at that, I took up an entire page writing about this girl. I must admit the Top 12 would be a lot more interesting if Tatiana is in it. I’m sure I’ll find a way to work her into these recaps anyhow.

Anoop Desai – “My Prerogative” by Bobby Brown: Anoop gets the closer spot, not too much of a surprise since most observers, including me, figured that he was one of the favorites to come out of the wild card round into the Top 12. He too chose a song he sang before so we’ll see if the judges get on his case about that like they just did to Tatiana. He tries to sing the low voice part and struggles to make it down to the bottom of the register. His later shouting is much better, though the back up singers are singing more than he is. The second verse is better than the first and he finishes on a strong note. The audience screeches their approval as the judges all have goofy smiles on their faces, which suggests that they have already decided to put Anoop through. Captain Jack compares Anoop to an enthusiastic dog (or should it be “dawg”) and no one boos him because they are still whooping it up for Anoop. They eventually get around to booing Simon when he states that Anoop is not the best singer in the competition. Now it is Captain Jack that breaks kayfabe by revealing that the judges are looking to “cast” the Top 12 with personalities and not just good singers. The audience takes that as a compliment and cheers. Sexual Chocolate is actually OK with Anoop singing the same song twice because he thought Anoop did it better this time. Horny Chick wanted to get up and dance, and then gets all excited when Anoop sucks up to her by mentioning their shared Tobacco Road roots. Paula admires Anoop’s nasty moves and praises him because the audience loved it.

It is now 8:50 pm according to my DVR so it means we will have to endure 10 minutes of Trained Seal dragging out the results of the judges’ vote rather than just telling us what we pretty much already know. Another sign is that when we go to break the judges are not talking to each other. You would think if they were still deciding on the final 3 that they would be at least talking to each other since they only have about 2 minutes to come to a decision. Instant fearless prediction – Anoop and Megan are sure things. I doubt the judges have the courage to put Tatiana through. I think it is between Matt and Jasmine, and I will vote for Jasmine only because the producers need more chicks in the Top 12.

We are back and right away I am back in the win column when Jasmine is told by Randy that she is in the Top 12. After Ricky is dismissed by Kara Tatiana and Megan are called up to the stage together. Tatiana is already crying because she too thinks that Megan is a shoo-in and it means curtains for her. Drunk Chick drags out the agony by going on and on about how it is not over for the loser even though we all know that it is, though Tatiana might prove to be an exception to that rule. She finally gets around to declaring that Megan is moving on and Tatiana is about to collapse into Ryan’s arms. Instead she collapses in front of the judges’ table as Paula and Kara try to console her. Trained Seal quickly cuts to a break just in case Tatiana goes off the deep end on live television, which will delay getting to Chef Ramsey. Simon tells Jesse that she nearly got in but didn't. Ryan goes back to Paula to let her ramble about Von before she dismisses him. The final two are Matt and Anoop and Captain Jack shocks us all by declaring that Matt is going through. Then comes a bigger shock, Anoop is in too and the Top 12 becomes the Top 13. Now it is Anoop who is ready to collapse though for a much different reason than Ms. Del Toro. The show ends with a group hug on the stage and more screeching from the audience.

And now, the continuation of Hell’s Kitchen…

The Final Score: 15 shots at Captain Jack Simon, who again beat out Paula this week. That has never happened 2 weeks in a row before. 13 shots at Horny Chick Kara, beating out her career best in only 2 days. 11 shots at Trained Seal Ryan, above average for him. 8 shots at Sexual Chocolate Randy, about average for him, and only 8 shots at Drunk Chick Paula, who amazingly finished last this week. That has never happened before either. I told you it was a special show. 12 shots at the audience, 2 direct references to former Idol contestants, 5 references to other non-Idol performers, 8 instances of sucking up, 4 indulgences, 2 references to Chef Ramsey, too many shouting singers too count, a bunch of excuses, 2 shocking endings, 2 analogies, 2 breaks of kayfabe, 1 new Idol nickname, 1 creative use of verb tenses, 2 iTunes plugs, 1 plug for a traveling roadshow, 1 watershed moment, and a hot fudge sundae.

Your 3 Stars of the Night: You know, despite the fact that this was a special show no one really stood out to me tonight. So I will take a pass and come back with this feature next week.

Idol Gives Back: When I first typed up the recap for Group 3 I had predicted that Lil Rounds, Scott McIntyre, and Jorge Nunez would get through. However, when I started posting it I had a change of heart and went with Ju’not Joiner instead. That change of heart cost me my perfect record this season. The lesson learned here is to trust my instincts, even though my record in the finals last year would suggest otherwise. At least now I don’t have to deal with the pressure of trying to stay undefeated from this point forward.

The Fearless Prediction: See above. I may no longer be perfect but I am still damn good.

Shopping For Hits

I’m running a little late here tonight. My docket is quite full this week and it took a while to convince my computer to work tonight, but nevertheless here I am. While posting this late and being on the Left Coast means that many of my potential readers have already gone to bed, it does allow me to get more Google hits from people browsing at work tomorrow morning, usually searching for the latest on either American Idol or Cheyennis Doom. It is a tight race between her and Danny Gokey for the person who has generated the most hits to this web site this season.

OK, by now you should all know the drill, so let’s get this started before the storm outside takes out my DVR.

Trained Seal claims the contestants have sacrificed their very lives to be on Idol, including “abandoning their families.” He makes it sound like jury duty. Makes you wonder why 100,000 tryout every year. The judges have returned to their original positions. Ryan asks Simon why he doesn't choice the songs since he is always criticizing the contestant’s song choices. Captain Jack quickly volunteers to take the producer’s job and have a Simon selects night.

Von Smith – “You’re All I Need to Get By” by Marvin Gaye: Von admits that he shouted his songs during Hollywood Week and vows to change and be “the real me.” Yeah, we've heard that promise before, pretty much all of last season’s contestants made that same pledge. Von starts out in fine voice but with an odd looking hairdo. No wonder he wears those goofy caps all the time. Of course he shouts the chorus again, even after promising that he would not. It is more restrained than he was before though, I’ll give him that. Von has some style but it seems a little too theatrical to me, but of course this very thing thrills the audience. Von does show off a nice little rap at the end, which gets his mom jumping out of her seat. Randy thought the performance was hot and was happy that for once the first singer sang a song well. Von wasn't that great but it was better than the first singers the other two nights. Kara thinks Von is more comfortable now compared to before and complimented him for taking Captain Jack’s advice during Hollywood Week. Wait a minute; I thought it was Horny Chick’s job to criticize Simon’s advice. I am so confused. Paula thought it was a “memorable first,” which I’m sure she will forget in about a week. Booze has that effect you know. Von reminded Simon of Season 2 star Clay Aiken, right down to his “appalling” dress and good voice, and meant it as a compliment. Von tries hard to interpret it as such.

Taylor Vaifanua – “If I Ain't Got You” by Alicia Keys: This is the tall chick from Samoa by way of Hurricane, Utah that Sexual Chocolate compared to Jordin Sparks because she is tall and has a natural tan. She is taking on a big vocal song so it should be interesting. Not too many contestants sing Alicia numbers, perhaps for good reason. Taylor too starts out in good voice, and unlike most Idol contestants she is actually blending in with the back-up singers. I think Melinda Doolittle was the last Idol contestant who was able to do that consistently. She showed a wide range of vocals too. I think her song was very well done. It really did remind me of Jordin Sparks. However, the judges disagree. Horny Chick wants to see more personality, and wants to know through her singing what is like to go shopping with her. Paula is perplexed because Taylor chose to sing a song that she sang at Hollywood Week. Paula wants Taylor to sing something new, even though none of the viewers at home, who in theory at least are selecting who is going into the Top 12, saw that performance. It is new to 30 million people if not to Drunk Chick. Simon doesn't get Horny Chick’s shopping reference and the other three judges talk over each other trying to explain it. Captain Jack then basically says the same thing as Kara, only without the shopping references. The music cue kicks in before Randy has had his say, but then all Sexual Chocolate does is repeat what Kara and Simon said. All this talk about shopping brings Taylor to tears and leads Trained Seal and Captain Jack to talk about shirts.

Before introducing Alex, Trained Seal pimps the new Coca-Cola contest where people are supposed to design the glasses that Drunk Chick gets her fix from. It is only a matter of time before Ryan starts pimping the Idol songwriting contest.

Alex Wagner-Trugman – “I Guess that’s Why They Call It the Blues” by Elton John: Trained Seal promises attitude from Alex while he waves from the Coca-Cola Room like a 12-year old. He certainly does not have that ‘tude look, though like age I suppose it is all in the mind. Alex was hurt by the comments from the Internet that he was a dork and that to fix this he started going to the gym to be more like Captain Jack. Hey, it wasn't me. Alex dedicates this song to his long time girlfriend, even though it is a sad song and he is only 19. Seriously, how long-term a relationship can a 19 year old have? He seems to be overcompensating for being a dork by being very dramatic, slurring about half of the lyrics and trying to reach for a deeper voice that just isn't there. Sexual Chocolate did say at Alex’s audition that his voice sounded like Joe Cocker’s, which may explain why Alex is trying to channel the Mad Dog here. To emphasize the point he kicks the mic stand down at the end of the song. Drunk Chick compliments his showmanship and trades barbs with Captain Jack while not saying anything about his voice. Simon claims he didn't have fun listening to Alex and the audience boos him. Captain Jack also whined about Alex kicking over the microphone stand at the end, which Alex claims was “just an accident.” Sure, he says that now after he gets criticized for doing it. If he truly was not a dork he would have said that he meant to do that and would do it again if he is invited back to the show. Captain Jack reaches for the metaphor bin and comes up with “a hamster trying to be a tiger.” Alex looks impressed by Simon’s creativity, though I think Captain Jack has used that one before. Drunk Chick leads the crowd in a mock tiger roar. Randy thought it was crazy in a “buck wild” sort of way and gets booed for trashing the vocals. Horny Chick compliments Alex for being him, even though we never saw this him before, only the dork. Trained Seal forces Alex to confess that he sang it straight in rehearsals and changed it at the last minute. Funny that Drunk Chick didn't mention that; she must have forgotten.

Arianna Afsar – “The Winner Takes It All” by ABBA: She wants to be taken seriously as a singer after the judges talked about how cute she was at her audition, so naturally she selects an ABBA song. She starts out singing the song like a slow ballad, which is a genre I don’t think ABBA ever tried to do. Well that is one way to get around the seriousness problem. Too bad Arianna’s voice is too shaky to pull it off. Again, like many contestants before her she overcomes her pitch problems by shouting the final chorus, though it still sounds like a dirge. I thought ABBA songs were supposed to be upbeat and happy. This one sure wasn't. Arianna looks like she is about to cry when she ends her song, long before Captain Jack has said anything. I guess the song depressed her too. Simon as expected thought it was a terrible performance and a dreary arrangement. Arianna claims that she tried to make it more contemporary and I have to agree with Simon that she failed. Sexual Chocolate goes off on the age thing again, talking about 16 year olds are not supposed to be sing serious songs unless they sing it well, in which case he is amazed at how serious they are. Horny Chick is depressed that the cute beams of sunshine that Arianna showed at her audition were missing from her performance tonight. You only have yourself to blame, girl. You were the one who went on and on about how cute Arianna was, so much so that she felt the need to be serious this time. Paula appreciates how Arianna turned the song into a dirge but then says that she would have preferred her to sing it straight. Hopefully Arianna will learn from this that looks do play a role in deciding who advances and who does not. Embrace your cuteness, girl, because it will take you far, and for God’s sake don’t listen to the judges’ advice.

Ju’not Joyner – “Hey There Delilah” by Plain White T's: He has been flying under the radar up until now even though he is the only contestant this year with an apostrophe in his name. I think there were, what, at least 2 or 3 last season. Ju’not dedicates the song to everyone who believed in him. I would believe in him if he had told me who originally sang this song. His voice is good, but I keep getting distracted by the handcuffs that are hanging from his trousers. There are some pitch problems here and there, so of course Ju’not starts shouting to overcome them, though it is more restrained than most are when they do that. Randy appreciates the restraint. Horny Chick appreciates the smooth spin but wants to hear more shouting. Drunk Chick wants to know where Ju’not’s little boy, the one that got him the ticket to Hollywood, is and then compliments Ju’not for following the advice that she gave Taylor a half hour ago about singing a song that was he sang at Hollywood Week. Man, if he changed up the entire song in that short a time frame he deserves to be in the Top 12. Simon thought is was better than it was going to be and gets applause. Captain Jack actually acknowledges how well Ju’not was able to overcome his nervousness, which Ju’not thought was from the cortisone shot in the butt that he received earlier in the day. The reference to his rear leads to much bantering amongst the judges. Ju’not claims the shot was for his voice, but I don’t know… If he makes it to the Top 12 will we need to put an * next to his name?

Kristen McNamara – “Give Me One Reason” by Tracy Chapman: She battled her way through Hollywood Week, won a sing-off on the Chair Show, and was told by Captain Jack that she wasn't pretty enough to be in the Top 36, and somehow that was not enough to drive her to quit. We can now add a new item to this list of adversity and understand why she wasn't shown during the auditions, as she showed up in Louisville with a scary purple dye job. I liked the short skirt she wore though. Just to remind us all of Kristen’s travails Trained Seal relives Hollywood Week with her and Nathaniel Marshall. She has her mouth so close to the mic that it looks like she is trying to swallow it. There is a big dichotomy between Kristen’s stiff physical movements and her dynamic voice. She has a great singing voice but I don’t know if it is good enough to overcome everything else and get her through to the Top 12. Horny Chick likes Kristen’s blonde dye job instead of the purple one but wanted her to sing a Kelly Clarkson or a Pink song instead. Horny Chick has fit nicely into Idol judge mode, as she is actively trying to pigeonhole the contestants into specific genres. Paula picks up on the Kelly Clarkson theme by reminding Kristen that she sang one of Kelly’s songs during Hollywood Week. Simon is puzzled that Kristen’s look doesn't match her voice. Randy says the K word. In response to the judges’ complaints that they don’t know who Kristen is, Trained Seal asks “Who are you?” The reply: “I’m Kristen McNamara.” That exchange pretty much says it all. Kristen goes on to admit that she has always struggled with her clothing selection, with a look of doom on her face as she does so. So basically the consensus is that if she does'’t get through it would be because of her looks and not her singing, and the producers still claim that Idol is a singing competition.

Nathaniel Marshall – “I Would Do Anything for Love” by Meatloaf: The self-professed “drama queen” who like Kristen had a rough Hollywood Week. Oh, the forces of evil are going to have fun with him if he makes it into the Top 12. Interesting song choice, though there usually is at least one singer in the semis who tries a Meatloaf song, usually with bad results. He starts out singing the song as a ballad and I can imagine Meatloaf watching at home throwing up the meatloaf that he had for dinner. Marshall then quickly changes to a more straight up version of the song and Meatloaf loses the carrots and broccoli. The audience eats up the dramatics but I am not impressed. Naughty Simon claims that Nathaniel is desperate for love and then goes off on the headband while the audience boos him. Unexpectedly Captain Jack retracts his evil comments and actually tries to be positive by apologizing for the harsh words and talking about how much fun Nathaniel is. Wow, what brought that on? Randy can’t wrap his head around the song choice. Nathaniel says he chose the song because he and his mom used to dance around the house to it. Simon offers up a suggestion that Nathaniel should do a workout video and gets smacked down by Horny Chick. Horny Chick wants to see the more serious side of Nathaniel and then declares that she wants to go to karaoke with him. I’m not sure that he is your type girlfriend. Nathaniel’s grandma interrupts Paula to say that she is “used to Nate’s music.” I’m not sure if this is a compliment or not. Paula thought Nathaniel was cool when he sang “Distrubia” during Hollywood Week but thought that the coolness was missing tonight. Drunk Chick adds that that she thought it was the “Boy George” version of the song, and the look from Captain Jack was priceless. Ryan brings Nathaniel over to the table and lots of homo-banter follows, which drowns out Trained Seal’s spiel when he was giving out Nathaniel’s phone number.

Felicia Barton - “No One” by Alicia Keys: If you don’t remember her from the auditions don’t worry, neither does anyone else. Felicia is the girl that replaced the ringer Joanna Pacitti after Joanna was kicked off the show for her “close association” with the producers who pushed her though to the Top 36. The sad part for Felicia is that it puts her at a disadvantage even before her first note. The producers actually pointed out that Felicia got cut during the Chair Show, though no explanation was given for why she was reinstated. Her voice changed when she announced her song in her video, which leads me to think that she changed it at the last minute. Kara ripped Felicia at the Chair Show for just singing rungs so guess how Felicia starts this song. Yes, with a bunch of runs. That pretty much describes her entire performance. Paula gets all philosophical and claims her talent is unbelievable. Simon thought that her performance with a bit copycat but stops short of using the K-word. Randy is happy that she was brought back and thought it was hot. Horny Chick likes the look and claims that this was the first time that she noticed Felicia. Trained Seal relives the moment when Felicia was notified that she was back on the show, though again he refrains from revealing why.

Scott McIntyre – “Mandolin Rain” by Bruce Hornsby: Before the show I was thinking what kind of social experiment it would be if Scott makes it into the Top 12. How many people will vote for him because of his voice and how many will vote for him because he is legally blind? Granted, there have been other contestants who have received votes for much more inane reasons than their eyesight, but still it is going to be interesting to see how far this guy gets. You know, his voice reminds me a lot of David Archuleta, and judging from the chick screams from the crowd that may not be the only thing Scott has in common with Wonder Boy. It was an OK performance, more or less in tune with some soul, though not as much as some others. Sexual Chocolate can feel the passion, though for a while I thought he was going to say how amazed he was that a blind man can sing that well. Kara thinks Scott can move mountains and can feel his heart and looks forward to his piano playing. That’s high praise for a so-so performance. Drunk Chick compliments him for overcoming his challenges but stops short of mentioning the blindness. Simon wasn't crazy about the singing and gets booed, but then claims that Scott is growing on him and has some relevance and gets cheered. And for the first time tonight Captain Jack predicts that someone will get through to the Top 12. Scott and Trained Seal exchange a high five and the audience applauds that a blind man and an ambiguously gay reality show host can do that.

After the break Randy and Ryan exchange seats and Sexual Chocolate fails badly at Trained Seal’s primary job, reading from the teleprompter.

Kendall Beard – “This One’s For the Girls” by Martina McBride: Apparently Kendall has been charged with filling the country girl slot in this competition. Showing her dad doing an alligator dance will certainly help establish that image. This is the first time I've heard Kendall sing and she sounds a lot like Kristy Lee Cook. We’ll see if Kendall has the same staying power. She is a bit pitchy in spots, especially at the end, which is not the best time to do that since that is when the judges are paying attention. Horny Chick loves Kendall’s big personality and how she fits into the country girl box but has issues with the singing. Paula compliments Kendall for the canary yellow dress. Simon too compliments her on doing the country thing but thought it was a bit shrilly towards the end. Captain Jack also mentions that she has a chance because she sang a country song and there are a lot of country fans who vote on Idol. Randy basically repeats what the other judges said.

Jorge Nunez – “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me” by Elton John: The only contestant in the Top 36 from outside the contiguous 48 states, and if the experience of contestants from Hawaii are any indication he has a chance to get through for that reason alone. So the count now stands at 2 Elton songs, 2 Alicia songs, and thus far no one has tried to sing a Whitney, Mariah, or Stevie tune. This one is a challenge though, not even George Michael could do it with any sincerity. Jorge’s pitch is all over the map but the crowd applauds his shouting and seriousness. His accent is kicking in and out too. The audience loves it but I was not impressed. Paula is pushed to go first, and again she talks about how well Jorge took her advice, so much so that she wants to go up and squeeze him. Simon says the exact opposite, saying that he should ignore Drunk Chick’s advice and sing with an accent. Paula wants Jorge to say something in Spanish and Captain Jack is all over her for being so patronizing. Actually, there really is not much of accent in his voice, at least just in that sentence. Randy thought the vocal was really, really good. Kara thinks Jorge was born to sing and is touched by his heart. Jorge gets emotional and the accent returns. He can only express himself in Spanish and Paula gets all excited. Mind you, Drunk Chick was the one who didn’t want to put him though at his audition because she wasn’t sure he could sing a song in English.

Lil Rounds – “Be Without You” by Mary J. Blige: Coming into the Top 36 I considered Lil to be one of the favorites to win this season, so it comes as no surprise that she gets the closer spot tonight. She has that big diva voice that is always popular with Idol voters but is notably lacking in this year’s contestant pool. She does sound a lot like Mary J, justifying the song choice. Lil has some soul and ‘tude to go with it. She struggles a bit to stay at the same pace as the band, but that is about the only negative thing I can say about her performance. Of all the songs tonight this is the only one that I can imagine being on a record. Simon thinks Lil should try another song besides a Mary J tune because she sounds so much like her, but otherwise he thought it was a brilliant performance. Randy loves the vocals and the swagger. Kara thinks Lil is a powerhouse and compliments her from not changing her style. Paula thinks we’ll be seeing her for many more “lil rounds,” and for once I’ll have to agree with Drunk Chick.

The Final Score: 18 shots at Captain Jack Simon, who actually beat out Paula this week. 12 shots at Horny Chick Kara, a career best for her. 11 shots at Drunk Chick Paula, who finished third for the first time since I started counting my insults. 9 shots at Trained Seal Ryan, about average for him. 7 shots at Sexual Chocolate Randy, about average for him too, not because I’m being too kind but because he is more boring than the other judges. 8 shots at the audience, 7 direct references to former Idol contestants, 6 references to other non-Idol performers, 3 shouting singers (at least identified), 3 uses of the K-word, 2 singers with ‘tude, 3 references to colors, 3 references to animals, 2 references to shopping for clothes, 2 iTunes plugs, 2 Coca-Cola plugs, 1 Ford plug, an *, and a shout-out to my favorite Ford Focus driver.

Your 3 Stars of the Night: Lil Rounds was expected to be the best of the night and did not disappoint. Ju’not Joiner wasn’t expected to do anything and exceeded expectations. I’ll give the third star to Taylor Vaifanua not only because I thought she sang well but also because I’m apparently the only one who thinks so, which means she likely will not be back.

Idol Gives Back: My perfect record extended to a second week as I again correctly predicted all three finalists. I will admit, though, that after my post last week I wasn’t sure about Kris Allen. I suspected that there would be a lot of support for Megan Corkrey even though Kris sang better than her last week. But, I am not one to go back on my word, so I stuck with Kris and was rewarded with a 6-0 record. This week, though, won’t be as easy.

The Fearless Prediction: Lil Rounds joins Danny Gokey and Allison Iraheta as a shoo-in to get through to the Top 12. I thought beforehand that the only way Scott McIntyre doesn’t get thorough would be if he completely blew his performance, and he didn’t do that. So basically the race is for third place and there are plenty of contenders. Taylor is out because the judges hated her; Kristen McNamara has one of the best voices in the competition but is out because she doesn’t pretty herself up enough (though if you ask me I would not throw her out of the bed). Von Smith and Jorge Nunez are possibilities, as is Kendall Beard because she did the country thing, but I’ll go with Ju’not Joiner to be the third person into the Top 12. It’s a gut feel more than anything else.

No post tomorrow as I have vowed not to recap results shows until they are interesting enough for me to watch, though it looks like I will need to recap the Wild Card show on Thursday in case there is any actual singing. It will be interesting to see who the judges will pick. Anoop Desai and Megan Corkrey are likely in the running, and there are a number of contestants in this group who could be considered as well. And will we see either Tatiana Del Toro or Nick Mitchell? Now that is the question America wants to know the answer to.

Bore Me to Tears of Jupiter

Just how influential is new President Barack Obama? So much so that he got America’s most popular television program to move to the next night to make room for his not the State of the Union State of the Union speech. I am surprised, though, that the president’s daughters allowed him to get away with that. I get the feeling that they are big American Idol fans.

Trained Seal is back with the casual wear, though this time his shirt has a collar. The judges are aligned in a mirror image of where they sat last week. Randy thinks tonight’s contestants have an advantage since they got to see last week’s guinea pigs. The two chicks give useless advice. Ryan claims Simon has problems with the lights, which of course Captain Jack denies. Simon then refuses to give the contestants any advice.

Jasmine Murray – “Love Song” by Sarah Bareilles: This is the poor chick from the homeless shelter, I think. I do remember that she was in one of the featured Hollywood Week groups with Bikini Girl. She starts off somewhat pitchy with the lower notes. The pitch gets better with the louder chorus. I notice a lot of Idol contestants try to solve their pitch problems by singing louder. I would call it shouting but I am no expert. Jasmine has some soul in her voice and looks good while singing with it but all in all it didn't blow me away. Randy agrees with me. Kara lauds her commercialism but also gets on her case about the low notes. Paula wants to disagree with Randy and Kara but can’t bring herself to do it. Someone must have spiked Drunk Chick’s drink with something non-alcoholic because she sounds somewhat sane. It is early, though, so Paula has plenty of time to get that buzz that we all love. Simon goes after the audience for booing him when he agrees with the other judges. Jasmine thought she actually did well and had a good time, at least until all the judges panned her. She still shows the smile as she banters with Trained Seal about her efforts to vote last week. Ryan acts surprised that Jasmine actually tried to vote.

Matt Giraud – “Viva La Vida” by Coldplay: It’s the dueling piano player that sings like Elliott Yamin. Any bets as to whether or not he’ll play a piano if he makes it into the Top 12? It’s an interesting song choice. Matt starts off with a pretty good imitation of Chris Martin, but he soon fades into a more breathy version, kind of like David Archuleta imitating Chris Martin. Elliott Yamin he’s not, at least not tonight. He is putting an interesting spin on the song to venture out of the karaoke zone, but that is about the only positive thing that I can say about his performance. Kara jumps ahead of Randy and trashes the song choice. Paula this time admits that she saw the rehearsal only so that she could be positive and say that he was better now compared to then. Simon accuses Matt of being a wanna-be pop star and gets booed by the audience. Randy agrees with Simon and gets no reaction, then gets applause when he says he still believes in Matt. Matt dismisses them all by saying that this is the kind of songs that he wants to sing instead of the piano bar stuff the judges urged him to return to.

Jeanine Vailes – “This Love” by Maroon 5: Like last week, I won’t get into the bios of contestants the Idol producers didn't bother to feature during the auditions unless they make it into the Top 12. I will point out that Jessie is a bartender only because she is pretty too and I wanted to offer up something besides a comment about her appearance. I don’t want you to think I am shallow or anything. Oh yeah, she’s wearing short shorts to display some nice legs too. She has a ‘tude like Jasmine but she is singing better while displaying it. Overall, I thought it was pretty good, but good enough to get around the fact the producers ignored her? Probably not. Paula thought she had great legs and then passed over to Simon without further comment. Looks like the buzz is beginning to kick into Drunk Chick’s head. Simon agrees with Paula about Jeanine’s legs but then says the performance was terrible. Randy thought the best part of her performance was when it was over, an unusually harsh remark from Sexual Chocolate that causes the audience to now boo him. Kara thought Jeanine overdid the song while the rest of the judges giggle about the legs. Jeanine reveals her frustration that she wasn't seen during the auditions in order to justify her song choice. Captain Jack thinks Jeanine deserves another shot and Trained Seal thinks Simon needs another shot. Drunk Chick seconds the motion as expected. The nonsense ends with a brief discussion about how old Jeanine and Simon are.

Nick Mitchell – “You’re Going to Love Me” by Jennifer Hudson: It’s time for the Idol Wild Card to take the stage. After appearing straight during his video it is Normund Gentle that appears on the steps. After some emoting on stage Normund gets on his knees in front of the judges table and heavily pets the Idol logo. The rest of the performance includes more kneeling and the tossing of various clothing accessories. Well, it was what it was. I really don’t have much to say about Nick’s singing because it was overshadowed by everything else. It was far from a stellar singing performance but it was very entertaining and very memorable. Captain Jack thinks he is speaking for America by saying that he is praying that Nick doesn't go on to the next round, no doubt thinking of Sanjaya Malakar while doing so. I thought that it was Tatiana that America didn't want to move on. Simon even gives Nick’s performance a name: “horrific comedy.” “It takes one to know one sacky pants,” Nick replies to much applause with a karate kick and a towel toss. Randy once again agrees with me, bad vocals but very entertaining. Kara gives Nick a backhanded compliment by saying that he is “not a terrible singer.” Before Paula speaks Captain Jack blurts out a backhanded insult by claiming that Paula can relate to Normund’s ability to perform while singing badly. Paula dismissed Simon and talks about she loves how his performance was a homage to Olivia Newton John’s “Physical” and to Jerry Lewis. Where she got those references, God only knows. Drunk Chick then wonders if Idol is the right stage for Normund, leading to the inevitable question as to why he was put through. Well, there is always America’s Got Talent. Nick might actually have a chance on that show. While commenting on his own performance Nick declares his fear that Captain Jack wants to kill him. This prompts the homo-banter that this show is famous for: Simon: “Ryan, did you like him?” Ryan: “In a different way than you probably would.” Simon: “I could believe that.” Audience: “Whoooo.” Trained Seal then pulls a slight of hand by ignoring Captain Jack and asking Paula if she would vote for Nick based on his singing alone. Drunk Chick’s response, after a swig, was “I saw him smiling the whole time.” After a moment of uncomfortable silence Ryan re-asks Paula the same question. This time Drunk Chick comes back with “I thought you were asking Simon,” and then she babbles on incoherently. Paula obviously does not want to answer the question. Nick saves Paula and brings the homo-banter back by asking Trained Seal why he keeps asking Nick how he feels. Ryan, frustrated perhaps that Nick has outed him, reveals that he doesn't think Nick should go on to the Top 12, prompting Drunk Chick to shout something to get the audience to clap.

Allison Iraheta – “Alone” by Heart: The judges’ dark horse is greeted by Trained Seal in the Coca-Cola loft. Allison is not too excited about not being in regular high school and instead being trapped in Idol high school. She is the first artist tonight to not struggle with pitch during the low notes, and then manages to stay in pitch during the shouting parts. Best of the night so far by a country mile. Too bad she had to follow Normund. Randy loves that we finally had some real singing. Horny Chick thinks Allison is too serious and that she still has some stage fright. Allison didn't look frightened to me, at least tonight. Paula thinks she can sing the telephone book and, in continuation of another common Idol theme, goes on and on about how amazed she is that a 16 year old can sing as well as she did. You would think after 16 year old Jordin Sparks won two seasons ago that the judges wouldn't be so amazed. Simon thought she was too boring in the Coca-Cola room but loved her singing on stage. All through this Ryan was hanging out with Allison’s mom, who was apparently so scared to hear what Simon had to say that she covered her face during Captain Jack’s comments.

Kris Allen – “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson: Like Allison he got 5 seconds of air time during the auditions and will need an Allison-like performance to have any shot of moving on. We learn that at the auditions Simon was put off by Kris’s modesty, which may explain why he only had 5 seconds of air time before tonight. Yet another odd song choice, I don’t think I've heard anyone sing a Wacko Jacko song well on this show. Perhaps they should consider banning Michael Jackson songs. Kris puts more of an upbeat spin on the song, kind of Maroon 5-ish. Not bad, perhaps second best of the night to this point. Horny Chick liked the back, hated the front, and thought Kris’ performance sucked compared to what he did during Hollywood Week, which of course we never saw. For once the audience booed her. Paula proudly proclaims that she disagreed completely to Kara and the audience cheers. Captain Jack agrees with Paula and earns crazy applause from the audience and a kiss from Paula. Sexual Chocolate proudly proclaims that he partially disagrees with Simon but then basically repeats what Simon said.

Megan Corkrey – “Put Your Records On” by Corinne Bailey Rae: I will try and be more restrained in my sarcasm this time because she is a nice girl. She shakes her booty at the start and solicits a couple of whoos from the crowd. OK, this time I think it really was the wrong song choice. She has a nice voice but it doesn't seem to be fitting in well with this song. It is not pitchy or anything, it just seems a little odd. Let’s see if the judges agree with me. Paula of course thinks she picked the right song and did everything right. Simon accuses Megan of being a funny little thing and oversang the second part of the song. Captain Jack is being surprisingly restrained with his criticism but still gets booed. Randy thought it was a nice job. Horny Chick calls Megan a “package artist”, someone who could break out with the right song and video, but then says nothing about her performance tonight. Trained Seal and Megan compare booty shakes and then Ryan suggests that Paula should see his “cold hearted snake.” Believe me, it was not nearly as sexually suggestive live as it appears here in print.

Matt Breitzke – “If You Could Only See” by Tonic: Matt is the welder who couldn't tolerate Tatiana’s meltdown during Hollywood Week. He keeps the blue collar thing going on with the jeans and untucked shirt. He is putting a Chris Daughtry/David Cook-esque rock spin on this pop song and did an OK job with it. He stayed in tune at least. Simon hated the song and is frustrated that Matt chose it. Matt respectfully disagrees. Randy that it was really boring and Kara thought it was really flat. Paula didn't think the song celebrated who she fell in love with. Even after all 4 judges thought it was a bad song choice Matt still disagrees and tells Ryan that he still would have chosen that song.

Jessie Langseth – “Bette Davis Eyes” by Kim Carnes: Again, I’m not going to bother with describing people that we haven’t seen before, though her looks have changed so much from the auditions that maybe we did see her after all. Now this is by far the most interesting song choice of the night so far. I don’t know, she is clearly giving her all but this performance is flatter than Matt’s. It didn't blow me away. Randy was upset that it didn't blow him away too. Jessie scores points by challenging Sexual Chocolate to justify his criticism, asking him to specify what it was that he didn't like about it and what he would have rather seen her do. Randy actually replies with something that makes some sense, saying that he wanted to hear more of a vocal range. Jessie is impressed that Randy actually answered her question with a coherent answer. Kara thought that Jessie was interesting to watch but that there were only moments that she liked, not the whole song. Jessie talks about how much she likes the drum line in the song and Drunk Chick leads the audience in a clapping routine. Paula liked Jessie’s unique phrasing and how cool she is. Simon doesn't want to be rude but thinks she is forgettable and “too cool for school.” Jessie actually has an interesting personality; it’s too bad that we never got to see it during the audition shows.

Kai Kalama – “What Becomes of the Broken Hearted” by Jimmy Ruffin: Mom is still doing OK and is in the audience tonight. Kai carries on tonight’s theme by being in tune, being on pitch, including a little bit of shouting, and mostly being forgettable. If this keeps up Normund might actually have a chance at getting into the Top 12. Hard to criticize Kai’s performance but I can’t really praise it either. Kara thought the song was too old-fashioned. Paula says he was pitchy but was surprised at how well he performed it. Captain Jack thought it was corny and wedding singer-like, nothing distinct or memorable but capable. Yeah, just like I said. Randy thought it was much too safe. Still, he has a shot at getting through unless one of the last 2 contestants break the trend and do something interesting.

Mishavonna Henson – “Drops of Jupiter” by Train: I hope they finally explain the origin of her name. No such luck, but we do learn that she is from the OC. It’s good to see another OC native make good. She is mostly in tune but is struggling to hit the high notes, which again she resolves by shouting through the finale. At spots she has a nice voice but there were some spots that were very shaky. Paula seems sad by the song choice. Simon thinks Mishavonna was too serious and cold and sang the song like a 50-year old, which Drunk Chick by explaining to Captain Jack that the coldness was because “it is drops, from Jupiter.” Simon struggles with the rest of his critique while also trying to make sense of Drunk Chick’s attempt at humor. Randy agrees with Simon and Paula starts laughing. Kara thinks Mishavonna is too “put together” and needs to shake it up more and Paula starts sneezing, which Sexual Chocolate thinks may be a sign of Drunk Chick’s displeasure over her fellow judges’ comments. Mishavonna agrees that she hasn't been crazy enough on stage and promises to be Super Crazy if she gets through to the Top 12. She should have thought of that before singing such a cold song.

Adam Lambert – “Satisfaction” by The Rolling Stones: Broadway Boy gets the closer spot and I have my first contestant nickname figured out. He declares that he was enlightened by Horny Chick’s comments during that the auditions that he was too dramatic. Forget what I said before, this is the most interesting song choice of the night. Adam is in full-on drama queen mode but he’s doing it in tune and in pitch. He is phrasing it well and for once he doesn't sound like he is in the middle of a Broadway production. It was over the top but how else can anyone do that song without sounding like an idiot? Paula thinks she was watching an Adam Lambert concert instead of Idol. Captain Jack thought some parts were horrible and some parts were brilliant and then immediately contradicted himself by calling it a “love it or hate it performance” without really saying which way he was leaning. Randy was feeling the love and thought Adam was one of the “most current” singers in the history of the show. Kara thought his technical ability was crazy and outrageous. After that my picture got jumpy so I don’t know why the chicks were pointing into the audience. The jumpiness continues through the recap so I’m taking this as a sign that it is time for me to wrap this one up.

The Final Score: 14 shots at Drunk Chick Paula, 10 shots at Captain Jack Simon, 6 shots at Trained Seal Ryan, 5 shots at Horny Chick Kara, 5 shots at Sexual Chocolate Randy, and 10 shots at the audience. 8 direct references to former Idol contestants, 5 references to other non-Idol performers, and 5 direct and indirect sexual references. 2 Idol nicknames, 2 backhanded comments, 2 iTunes plugs, 2 common themes identified, 1 karate kick, 1 product plug, 1 plug for another show, a bunch of jumpy pictures, and a shout-out to my old home county.

Your 3 Stars of the Night: Allison Iraheta was the only one that came close to goose bumps. If she keeps this up she won’t be a dark horse for long. Adam Lambert did Mick Jagger justice, and Kris Allen did a respectable job with a Wacko Jacko song. Honorable mention goes to Nick Mitchell for one of the most entertaining semi-final performances in quite some time.

Idol Gives Back: I started the live Idol season by going 3 for 3, picking all 3 finalists. Fortunately I missed most of the results show, catching only the very end when the Idol producers manipulated Tatiana Del Toro’s dramatic tendencies for dramatic effect. I think she was the only person in America that thought that she would be going through instead of Danny Gorky. I love, though, how Tatiana denied the producers what their hearts desired by acting so restrained during Danny’s celebration song. I also noticed how none of the other contestants were paying much attention to her when she finally did start to break down.

The Fearless Prediction: Just like the first Semi-Final 12 there is only one slam dunk finalist, Alison Iraheta. Kris Allen sang better than Adam Lambert but to be honest Adam is much more memorable so I predict Adam will be the top guy through to the Top 12. As for the third finalist, it depends on how America feels about Nick Mitchell. Memorability is not a problem with him, but can an entertainer, as opposed to a singer, make it into the Top 12? My gut feeling is that he won’t and that Kris Allen will get through instead, but it would not surprise me to see Normund strutting his stuff a couple weeks from now.

Sexual Healing

It is back to the future night, as Idol goes back to the original format for the semi-finals. Instead of two people getting voted off three people will be voted forward to the Top 12. No explanation as to why the Idol producers choose to do this, though one could make a guess. It is a lot harder for the forces of evil to keep contestants like Tatiana Del Toro on the show when they have to overcome 9 other contestants instead of just 1 or 2. Just a thought….

So from now until the grand finale I will be typing this as I watch the show instead of taking notes for later broadcast. The idea is that I can get to bed earlier and provide my faithful readers with a more lively experience. Well, it is a fine idea anyway. I will probably still end up going to bed late and only you can say how lively this thing will be.

In keeping with the theme Trained Seal has ditched the suits in favor of the more casual wear he used to wear back when he had a co-host. The judges, of course, are keeping it casual as always. Horny Chick is nervous appearing on live TV for the first time, especially after Drunk Chick starts suggesting that they get under the table again. Ryan looked uncomfortable listening to chicks talk about sex, and then looked even more uncomfortable when Captain Jack compliments his new hair-do.

Jackie Thom - “A Little Less Conversation” by Elvis Presley: Rather than try and imitate The King Jackie gives it a Tina Turner-like treatment, complete with the hot pants. She has a lot of spirit but it’s not exactly a stellar vocal performance. Still, she certainly has her own style and was not afraid to show it here. Randy and Kara both agree with me so I won’t make fun of them, for now at least. Drunk Chick reminds Randy that he used to fit in hot pants. Now that’s a visual that I did not need. Simon thought Jackie played the clown and was “ungamly”, and already the crowd is all over Captain Jack for using one of them foreign words. Jackie’s parents are in the house and Ryan points out that they were staring a hole into Simon while he was criticizing their daughter. We also now know where Jackie gets her off the wall attitude.

Ricky Braddy – “A Song for You” by Leon Russell: This is our first introduction to Mr. Braddy, which in past seasons has usually been the kiss of death. However, last year Quiet Man Jason Castro wasn't seen until the semis and he made it all the way to the Final Four, giving hope to cannon fodder like Ricky. Since Idol never bothered to introduce us to Ricky during the auditions I won’t bother with doing so here unless he makes it into the Top 12, except to note that he used to work in a chicken fast food place. He is a North Carolina guy, home of many an Idol star in seasons past. He has a good voice but he starts this ballad out kind of bland. Hopefully for him he’ll have a big finish. He drops in the falsetto at the chorus and remarkably stays in tune. All in all it didn't blow me away but it was pretty good. I wonder why they have been hiding this guy for so long. Randy and Kara are even more blown away than me. Paula also wonders why Ricky wasn't featured until now. Why don’t you ask the folks who sign your checks, Drunk Chick? Simon attempts to offer an explanation by claiming that Ricky doesn't have any star quality and gets booed for his troubles. Drunk Chick tries to cancel out Captain Jack’s comments by shouting “you’re brilliant!” To Ricky, not Simon.

Forgive me for bouncing back and forth between past and present tense. I’m warning you now that from this point forward I’m not going to bother with correcting myself as I go, otherwise I’ll be here all night and I still have a job to go to tomorrow morning.

Trained Seal brings back the iTunes plugs.

Alexis Grace – “Never Loved a Man” by Aretha Franklin: This is the chick that was advised to get dirtier by have sex with her boyfriend after her audition. Still no mention of the boyfriend but his picture is still in her living room so I guess he’s still around. Alexis claims to be taking a chance with her song choice, even though about 100 prior contestants have sung this song on this show before her. The audience cheers on her shouting, but it’s clear to me that this is not the best song choice for her. She should have gone with a Janis number instead I think. She does have a nice bluesy voice that would be better served by a Janis number compared to an Aretha number. The dress choice was much better though, and at least she didn't pick a Whitney song. Sexual Chocolate is in love with the new dirty girl. Horny Chick is similarly turned on and takes credit for inspiring Alexis to dirty up her image. Drunk Chick is amazed that a 21 year old can display so much soul and confidence after claiming Alexis had neither at her audition, and then tries to go on to keep Captain Jack from saying anything. Simon surprises us all by saying that he liked her performance, even comparing her to Kelly Clarkson.

Brent Keith – “Hick Town” by Jason Aldean: This is the busker that put the two chicks under the table during the auditions. Let’s see if he is similarly inspiring tonight. It doesn't start well for Brent as the director cues up Stevie Wright’s promo instead. Trained Seal tries to improvise but is saved when the correct promo starts rolling. Brent is the first to stake a claim for the country spot, smart move considering how many country singers Idol has produced. It’s a decent Garth Brooks impression, though I don’t think Garth did this song. I’ll need to look it up during the break. After hearing Brent’s performance Sexual Chocolate is ready for a chili cook-off. Horny Chick thought he played it safe and wasn't rangy enough. That’s country music in a nutshell my dear. Paula conjures up the ghost of Bucky Covington. Simon thought it was unoriginal and Drunk Chick can’t believe it. Brent disagrees with Captain Jack and doesn't think country fans will forget his performance. He’s probably right but I doubt it’ll be enough to move on. He continues that thought in the red room with Trained Seal, and in the process pulls a Tony Stewart and refers to himself in the plural first person. We love Smoke and like this guy but we find this very annoying.

Stevie Wright – “You Belong with Me” by Taylor Swift: She doesn't think Captain Jack likes her, so she’s going to act young from this point forward to try and impress him. She starts off kind of shaky with the low notes, but kicks in the spirit with the chorus. The second verse is even shakier than the first, but again she does better with the chorus. I don’t know about this one. Probably the worst vocal of the night so far. Randy is not pleased and gets booed. Kara agrees with Randy and no one boos her. Paula agrees with them and me and no one boos her either. Captain Jack thought it was terrible and gets booed, then gets the other judges on him for saying that she has no chance of moving on to the next round. Stevie’s mom wonders why the judges criticized Stevie for being too young now after they urged her in Hollywood to be younger. Right on, sister.

Anoop Desai – “Angel of Mine” by Monica: Apparently he likes to go by “Anoop Dog.” If Anoop makes it to the Top 12 I’ll need to come up with a better nickname than that for him. A very interesting song choice, I wonder how he will pull this off. He shows off the good voice that we heard during his audition, but to me it was kind of bland. The tweener girls in the audience love it though, as does Drunk Chick. Sexual Chocolate has mad love for Anoop but was not turned on by the song choice. Horny Chick yet again agrees with Randy. Drunk Chick thinks “America has connected with you” but I don’t know if they will remember him after tonight. Simon thought the song was too grown-up and serious for him, but he still likes him. The other judges quickly agree but not Anoop, who instead defends his song choice. I’ll offer up an early fearless prediction, this dude won’t move on tomorrow but will instead be one of the wild cards.

Trained Seal works in iTunes pimp #2 as his makes his way up the stairs. This would seem to be an impossible task but Ryan is a trained professional. I bet you he even does it at home.

Casey Carlson – “Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic” by The Police: Oh yeah, this is the bubble tea girl and it is a song I actually own, though apparently she wants to sing it in another key. At least I hope it’s another key. She shows a little 'tude to get the audience on her side and gets no reaction. No wait, there are a few people clapping along. Randy says the magic word “karaoke” and a duck falls down from the ceiling. No, wait, that was another reality show, sorry about that. For a second there I was channeling Dennis Miller. Kara wonders why Casey even went near a Police song. Drunk Chick compliments Casey’s looks but eventually gets around to saying something critical. Simon seconds the magic word. Casey acknowledged to Trained Seal that the judges were right but that she still had fun, and isn't that why we are all here?

There’s my girl Cheyennis again, this time with a new commercial about her Ford Focus. And thanks to that reference there’s another 15 hits to this site. And on their next shows House M.D. has a heart attack and Chef Ramsey promises to cause one! Let’s see if that gets me some more hits…

Michael Sarver – “I Don’t Want to Be” by Gavin Degraw: Trained Seal calls Michael his twin. In your dreams homeboy. I guess it’s true that ambiguously gay guys love the roughnecks. Michael is having fun too but is more in tune than Casey. Up in the red room Stevie is in the groove but the other contestants look worried, maybe because he’s doing pretty well. Randy wanted to hear more soul and less bounce. Horny Chick again agrees with Randy. Drunk Chick drops her usual compliment and gets cheered, and then she name drops a number of former male contestants who sang the song and in the same sentence complains about how distracted she was by Mike’s mike tossing. Simon was on the fence but still likes him.

Anne Marie Boskovich – “Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin: Hail is falling outside as I type this so I’m hoping the TV signal doesn't go out, or else this is the end of tonight’s recap. She has a nice voice and really nice legs but this song seems too big for her. That’s the danger of picking an Aretha song. The crowd gives her a standing O and she thought she did well, but then Sexual Chocolate disses the song choice and claims that Anne Marie is confusing him. Kara wanted her to sing a fun girly love song, “that’s not as good” Anne Marie replies. Touché! Drunk Chick thought Anne Marie did better than she did in Hollywood Week not because she sang better but because she took a chance. Captain Jack pulls out the hotel singer voice analogy and then gets back at the audience by accusing them of being easily pleased. Touché times 2! Anne Marie takes the awkwardness into the red room by complaining that she sat on a hard spot on the couch. Trained Seal, perhaps still distracted by the roughneck or the vague sexual reference, loses his train of thought and goes straight to giving out the phone number.

Steven Fowler – “Rock with You” by Michael Jackson: This time Steven promises not to forget the lyrics like he did the last night of Hollywood. I hope so because he sounded good before. Interesting song choice that he did alright with, but he may have been better doing a more soulful song than this one. Randy agrees with me once again. Kara thought he did better when he forgot the lyrics. Paula is disappointed by the song choice. Simon thought it would have been better if he had forgotten the lyrics. Probably in the running with Anoop for a wild card spot.

Tatiana Del Toro – “Saving All My Love for You” by Whitney Houston: And now here is the star of our show and right on cue the hail comes back to threaten my signal. I find it interesting that the other contestants are nowhere to be seen in the red room when Ryan announces that she is next. Tatiana is more subdued than the auditions but she is still determined to win this thing at all costs. Alright! She’s singing a Whitney song; this should be either really good or really interesting. The signal is holding and, well, she is surprisingly good. It would have been so easy to jump on her if she messed this up, but she is determined to make this interesting. Randy was happy with the moments. Horny Chick can’t figure out if she is an artist or a character. “I’m both” Tatiana replies. No doubt about that. Paula points out that she is the most talked about contestant so far and the audience cheers. I guess because Paula said it the audience assumed it was a compliment. Drunk Chick also complains that Tatiana is not acting like a drama queen. Captain Jack out and out calls her a drama queen and thinks that she is as desperate to be famous as Drunk Chick. The judges get on Tatiana’s case about being too reserved and not displaying her goofy laugh. She later tells Ryan that the wacky chick we saw in the auditions was not the real her, but before she convinces us all that she is actually a sane person she makes a classic psycho chick pitch to America to vote for her. I would guess that if Tatiana doesn't make it tomorrow, and there is a decent chance that she won’t, that the judges will get more of the drama queen behavior that they will be able to stand.

Danny Gokey – “Hero” by Mariah Carey: The widower gets the coveted closer spot, to the surprise of virtually no one who thinks the Idol producers are trying to manipulate the vote. Of course we hear about his wife again. I sure hope this is the last time we will. He’s a good singer; he doesn't need the sob story. He’s taking on a pretty big song, even for him. It’s a bit pitchy in spots but he is laying it out there. The judges jump out of their chairs, except for Captain Jack of course. Horny Chick and Sexual Chocolate praise him for saving the show. Drunk Chick pulls out an air lighter and claims Danny can sell out arenas right now. He is good, but not Chris Daughtry good, at least not yet. Captain Jack dowses the audience with realism by saying that Danny is only good and that he’s not ready to jump on the Gokey bandwagon yet. Both Drunk Chick and Horny Chick are ready to punch Simon for being such a hater. Trained Seal then indirectly accuses Simon of not having a heart, “the organ the rest of us have.”

The Final Score: 16 shots at Drunk Chick Paula, 12 shots at Captain Jack Simon, 11 shots at Trained Seal Ryan, 8 shots at Horny Chick Kara, 7 shots at Sexual Chocolate Randy, and 10 shots at the audience. 4 direct and 2 indirect references to former Idol contestants. 2 Aretha songs, 1 Whitney song, 1 Mariah song, 3 ad references, 2 iTunes pimps, 2 weather reports, 1 reference to a NASCAR driver, and 1 channeling of a political comedian/talk show host.

Your 3 Stars of the Night: Danny Gokey took advantage of the closer spot and was the best of the show. Ricky Braddy was better than expected, as was drama queen Tatiana Del Toro. Alexis Grace gets an honorable mention because she was the only one that Captain Jack liked.

Idol Looks Back: Will return next week at this same time and same channel.

The Fearless Prediction: The top dude, the top chick, and the next highest vote getter get through so I can’t take the easy way out and predict that the 3 Stars are all moving on. Danny Gokey is an easy choice to be one of the three. The top girl is much harder to guess. Tatiana Del Toro sang well enough to move on but there are as many people who hate her as those who love her, so I will go with Alexis Grace instead. For the third spot it’s a toss-up between Anoop Desai, Michael Sarver, and Ricky Braddy. Ricky sang the best of the three tonight but Anoop and Michael have already made names for themselves during the auditions. Since I've already predicted that Anoop will be one of the wild cards and I suspect that Ricky has no name recognition thanks to the Idol producers, I predict that Michael Sarver will be the third choice.

Uprooted

First the headline: Joanna Pacitti, one of the top 36 contestants for American Idol Season 8, was disqualified today from the competition, Fox announced. Fox did not give details as to why. However, an unnamed source told the LA Times that it was to "avoid the appearance of impropriety."

As most of you who read this blog or watch the show know, Pacitti once had a record deal with Geffen/A&M Records, which lead to accusations that she was inserted as a ringer by the Idol producers. These accusations gained some traction after Pacitti made it to the Top 36 even after performing poorly during Hollywood Week. What may have finally led to her ouster, though, was the revelation in Star Magazine last week that Pacitti had ties with two producers at 19 Entertainment, the outfit that produces Idol for Fox. One of them in fact was her producer when she was under contract with Geffen and is credited in Pacitti's 2006 album for Geffen that sold all of 16,000 copies.

What is interesting to me here is not that Pacitti had a record deal or ties to the Idol producers, both of which had been known for some time, but the fact that she was disqualified one day after she was shown being in the Top 36. If Fox or 19 Entertainment were concerned about giving the appearance of impropriety then why was Pacitti allowed to stay as long as she did? The "controversy" surrounding Pacitti's past experience has been going on since she first appeared in Louisville, so what led the Idol producers to change their minds now? It is not as if she was the first contestant who once had a record deal or had ties to someone on the show.

One possible explanation for the sudden change of thinking may be that the Idol producers had been planning to dump her for some time, but they didn't want to embarrass Joanna by dumping her during Hollywood Week. So instead they allowed her to be awarded a Top 36 spot and then had her leave without having to appear on the live shows. That's my best guess anyway.

There are some, including myself, who believe that the Idol producers have more say into who gets on the show than they want us to believe. Joanna is but one piece of evidence to reinforce this line of thinking. The producers wanted Joanna in the Top 36 and despite an awful Hollywood Week there she was. It would also explain why Tatiana Del Toro is still on the show. Ken Warwick, the chief Idol producer, stated in the press previews that they wanted to present more drama and more character on the show this year to make up for last season's snoozefest, and if there is anything that Tatiana has it is plenty of drama and character.

Taking Joanna's place in the Top 36 is Felicia Barton, a 26 year old bar singer from Virginia Beach, VA. Felicia was at the Louisville auditions and had about 10 seconds of airtime then and no screen time on the Hollywood Week shows. And here again we see potential evidence of producer involvement. No explanation was given as to why Felicia was chosen as opposed to one of the four who lost their "sing-off" on the chair show or for that matter Jamar Rodgers, who still has a lot of supporters if the blogs are any indication.

I guess for the Idol producers that old adage (and Chris Daughtry song lyric) about being careful about what you wish for may be becoming a realty, and the vote rigging hasn't even started yet.

Everyone Take Their Seats

Because of changes to the format for the chair show I actually have to recap it. Thanks a lot, guys. I was hoping for the night off. Even still, since most of the show was still the same stuff we are used to seeing - contestants make a long walk (and this time it was really long), the judges make a long spiel, the contestants learn their fate and then cry a lot – I can keep this relatively short.

54 contestants showed up at a plush mansion that Trained Seal claimed was the “judge’s mansion.” So do Captain Jack, Drunk Chick, Sexual Chocolate, and Horny Chick all live together or something? Is that why Kara was brought in? Such important questions were never explained.

There were 5 sing-offs between contestants that the judges claimed they were on the fence about. Each one was told to sing “for their lives.” I guess the firing squad was hiding in the fireplace. The results were:

- Alex Wagner-Trugman beat Cody Shelton, the high school guy who makes horror movies.

- Kristen McNamara defeated Jenn Korbee. Jenn auditioned with her husband and both of them made it to Hollywood Week, except that we never saw either of them until Jenn was taken down.

- Jessie Langseth beat Frankie Jordan, who was told by Captain Jack that she would not have won anyway just to cheer her up.

- Nathaniel Marshall defeated Jackie Midkiff, a dude we had not seen until now. We also learned that Nathaniel has been bouncing around from family member to family member after his mom was sent to prison on a drug charge.

- Blue collar guys Matt Breitzke and Michael Sarver battled to a draw. Both dudes were put through.

Among the 18 contestants who were sent home was Danny Gokey's BFF Jamar Rodgers, who judging from the reaction of the other contestants was very popular. I would bet if the producers had asked the contestants they would have put Jamar through and sent Tatiana Del Toro home instead, but then the producers have different priorities so Jamar is done and Tatiana moves on. TK Nash from the Jacksonville auditions was also sent home. The rest were all folks that had never been given TV time until they were told they were out. I imagine they would have a hard time convincing their friends that they were even on the show.

And now here is your Top 36:

Adam Lambert, 26, Hollywood, CA, from the San Francisco auditions. He is the “Wicked” cast member whose first concert he attended at age 10 was Paula’s.

Alexander Wagner-Trugman, 19, Studio City, CA, from the Phoenix auditions. He taught himself to sing in his closet and got sick from the mold.

Alexis Grace, 20, Memphis, TN, from the Louisville auditions. The father of her child was off at military school during her audition but she is now billed as a “single mother.”

Allison Iraheta, 16, Los Angeles, CA, from the San Francisco auditions. She had 10 seconds of air time at her audition and had no air time in Hollywood but showed a good voice. The judges consider her to be the dark horse.

Anne Marie Boskovich, 22, Nashville, TN, from the Jacksonville auditions. She was allowed to re-audition after finding a make-up artist in Jacksonville to help her overcome her shyness. She is one of many contestants that Horny Chick thought was “sexy.”

Anoop Desai, 21, Chapel Hill, NC, from the Kansas City auditions. He studied BBQ at the University of North Carolina as part of his thesis on myths in southern culture. Simon thought he was a computer geek.

Arianna Ayesha Afsar, 16, from San Diego, CA, from the Phoenix auditions. She sang in a karaoke bar at age 6 and started the “Adopt the Grandfriend” club at her school.

Brent Keith, 28, Blanchester, OH, from the Louisville auditions. His audition inspired Simon to use the word “buskerish” and inspired Kara and Paula to make out under the judges table.

Casey Carlson, 20, Minneapolis, MN, from the Kansas City auditions. She is the bubble tea maker that may fill the requisite country singer slot.

Danny Gokey, 28, Milwaukee, WI, from the Kansas City auditions. His wife died 4 weeks before his audition. His BFF Jamar Rodgers just missed the Top 36.

Jackie Tohn, 27, Silver Lake, CA, from the New York auditions. She sang like Tom Waits at her audition and like Amanda Overmyer during Hollywood Week. It was after her audition in New York that the window on the set fell on the judges.

Jasmine Murray, 16, Stockville, MS, from the Jacksonville auditions. She survived a rough child birth and then survived Bikini Girl on group night.

Jeanine Vailes, 27, Sherman Oaks, CA, from the San Francisco auditions. Never seen on TV before now.

Jessie Langseth, 25, Minneapolis, MN, from the Kansas City auditions. Never seen on TV until she beat Frankie Jordan in a sing-off.

Joanna Pacitti, 23, Philadelphia, PA, from the Louisville auditions. She is the ringer who once had a record deal with A&M. Despite butchering every song during Hollywood Week she was still put through.

Jorge Nunez, 20, Carolina, PR, from the San Juan auditions. He proved in his audition that can sing in both English and Spanish.

Ju'not Joyner, 26, Bowie, MD, from the New York auditions. He was not seen until Hollywood and flew under the radar all the way to the Top 36.

Kai Kalama, 26, San Clemente, CA, from the San Francisco auditions. He is the guy who has been taking care of his mom after her seizure. He showed off a classic jazz voice in his audition.

Kendall Beard, 23, Austin, TX, from the San Juan auditions. She was not seen until Hollywood. The judges accused her of singing boring songs but she was still put through.

Kristen McNamara, 22, Napa, CA, from the Louisville auditions. She too was not seen until Hollywood, but she more than made up for it with a dramatic Hollywood Week. She survived the tantrums of her teammates on group night and then won a sing-off versus fellow blond Jenn Korbee to get through, even after the two chicks criticized her wardrobe and Captain Jack told her that Jenn was more attractive.

Kris Allen, 23, Conway, AK, from the Louisville auditions. He got 5 seconds of air time at his audition and got 5 more tonight.

Lil Rounds, 23, Memphis, TN, from the Kansas City auditions. She lost her apartment in a tornado. She adequately fills the requisite diva slot and is considered an early favorite.

Matt Breitzke, 27, Bixby, OK, from the Kansas City auditions. He is the welder that pushed Paula to cut to the chase at the end of Hollywood Week but asking “so it’s a no, right?”

Matt Giraud, 23, Kalamazoo, MI, from the Louisville auditions. He is the dueling piano player who reminded Simon of Elliott Yamin.

Megan Corkrey, 23, Sandy, UT, from the Salt Lake City auditions. She is the stringy blond with an arm full of tattoos that got me in trouble for making assumptions about her being a stringy blond with an arm full of tattoos.

Michael Sarver, 27, Jasper, TX, from the Phoenix auditions. He is the oil rig roughneck with a decent tenor voice.

Mishavonna Henson, 18, Irvine, CA, from the Phoenix auditions. She was not seen until Hollywood and was cut last season at Hollywood Week.

Nathaniel Marshall, 18, Malone, NY, from the New York auditions. He was not seen until Hollywood but like Kristen McNamara he more than made up for it. He couldn't explain why he was so full of songs and then had a nervous breakdown during Hollywood Week when his teammates, including Kristen, kept bickering with each other. Like Kristen he too survived a sing-off with an unknown guy.

Nick Mitchell, 27, Brookfield, CT, from the New York auditions. “Norman Gentle” shocked the world by making it to the Top 36. Words cannot adequately describe him.

Ricky Braddy, 25, Nashville, TN, from the Louisville auditions. Never seen until tonight.

Scott MacIntyre, 23, Scottsdale, AZ, from the Phoenix auditions. He is the blind guy who graduated from Arizona State University at age 19 and was a shoo-in for the Top 36 even before Hollywood Week. Horny Chick told him that they “wanted to see him again.”

Stephen Fowler, 26, Beachwood, OH, from the New York auditions. He was not seen before Hollywood. He aced Stevie Wonder on Hollywood Day 1 but then fell apart on Day 4 when he couldn't finish his song.

Stevie Wright, 16, from Phelan, CA, from the Phoenix auditions. She claimed she named after Stevie Nicks. Captain Jack didn't think she was selfish enough at her audition.

Taylor Vaifanua, 16, Hurricane, UT, from the Salt Lake City auditions. She is the tallest female contestant (5’-11”) since Jordin Sparks. Her family moved from Samoa to further her singing career, leading some to suspect that she is a ringer.

Tatiana Del Toro, 23, San Juan, PR, from the San Francisco auditions. Along with Nick the biggest surprise of the Top 36. She is the designated lunatic who resorted to singing every time she thought she was being rejected and is being portrayed as the least popular person among the contestants. When she ran into the waiting room screaming that she was through only Nathaniel applauded, and it looked like it was only because he was on camera at the time.

Von Smith, 22, Greenwood, MO, from the Kansas City auditions. He looks and sounds like an older David Archuleta and was called an indulgent child by Simon after his first Hollywood Week song.

Next week we go live with the first 12 of the Top 36. Once again I’ll try and write the recap as I watch it. It will abuse my DVR remote but I will get to write in the present tense. I have spent countless hours editing my recaps from present to past tense so it will be nice to not do that anymore.

You Oughta Be In Pictures, Part Troi

And now, the continuation of Hollywood Week…

It was Day 4 at the Kodak Theater and tonight the Idol producers decided to play mind games not only with the remaining 72 contestants but also with the viewers as well. For most of the show the audience was bounced back and forth from the auditions at the start of the day to the room announcements at the end of the day. It was a definite challenge to keep up with the tennis match unfolding on my TV screen. I’m still not sure that I picked up everything even after hitting the pause button on my DVR about 50 times.

The show began with the judges already sorting through the photos, and then we were transported to 7 am that morning for the final performances. For this round each contestant performed a song solo with band and back-up singer accompaniment if they wished. The contestants were also allowed to play their own instruments for the first time, continuing the format change from last season. To the contestant’s delight and to my dismay the judges were not allowed to comment after each audition was over.

First up was the guy from “Wicked”, Adam Lambert, who did a ballad version of Cher’s “I Believe.” He had a good voice but it still sounded like a musical theatre performance. Next up was dueling pianist Matt Gerald, who like a number of contestants sang “Georgia on My Mind”. Of course he sang while playing a keyboard. He too had a good voice but it still sounded like something you would hear in a piano bar. After them came the BFFs from Milwaukee, Jamar Rodgers and Danny Cokey. Both did fine with their songs though Jamar wasn't feeling it afterwards.

During the first break there was another Ford commercial, which reminds me to mention that I've gotten a number of hits due to Google searches for Cheyennis Doom, who I mentioned in my recap of the Jacksonville auditions. One could argue that it was the highlight of that show. One of those hits was from Cheyennis herself (no joke!), who did a search of her name and found my little blog. She too did not know the origin of her surname, but she was a very good sport about having it mentioned here. If you are reading this, Cheyennis, thank you again!

And yes, that is her real name and she still enjoys driving the Ford Focus featured in the spot. Take that all you pessimist haters out there….

Back to the future, we were treated to a rapid fire montage of good performances from the morning, including from Anoop Desai, Jorge Nunez, Kendall Beard, Stevie Wright, Lil Rounds, Miskavenna Hanson, and Scott McIntyre. Scott was kind of off tune during his rendition of Chris Daughtry’s “Home” but he still got a standing O from Drunk Chick either because he is blind or because Paula is deaf. Also in this package was Kristen McNamara, who endured the rants of Nancy Wilson and the panic attacks of Nathaniel Marshall during the group round and did a semi-soulful version of “Because of You” in her last audition. We also learned that she has a last name (though not the origin, I would guess it is Irish) and that she is from just up the street in Napa. These folks made up the bulk of Group 1, who was the first to be sent from the main holding cell to their own special holding cell.

Group 2 included Alexis Grace; Kenny Hoffpauer; Jasmine Murray, who also endured group night hell dealing with Bikini Girl; the dramatic Nathaniel Marshall; the ringer Joanna Pacitti; the oil rigger Michael Sarver; Kai Kalama; Casey Carlson, the bubble tea maker who forgot her lyrics in her final audition; and Steven Fowler. Steven was the guy who aced the Stevie song on Hollywood Day 1, but it was a different story on Day 4. Despite rehearsing all night and being allowed to stop and restart ala Brooke White last season, he still couldn't get through his song and walked off the stage ready to pack his bags. The lovable Tatiana Del Toro, who the Idol producers clearly favor as the next Sanjaya, was initially placed in Group 2 but then was called out of the room and sent back to the main hall. Everyone she left behind breathed a sigh of relief.

After playing it somewhat straight on group night, Nick Mitchell brought back “Norman Simple” for his final solo performance and sang “Georgia on My Mind” Liza Minnelli style. He was placed in Group 4 and Trained Seal did the full-on tease by suggesting that the other people in this group were afraid that they were being cut when they saw Nick in there with them. If this were in fact true, imagine how they felt when Tatiana walked through the door to join them. I couldn't help but notice that no one sat within 10 feet of Tatiana. You could really sense that Ryan was trying hard to make this group look like the losers. Also in Group 4 were Anne Marie Boscovich, the welder Matt Brietzke, and Juno Joiner, another guy who used his young son during his initial audition to get a ticket to Hollywood.

Kaylan Loyd, as creative of a name as I've heard, was doing fine during her final number until Captain Jack cut the band off mid-lyric. She was a bundle of nerves as she was assigned to Group 3 along with India Morrison, the KC rapper who is tight with her sister; Jason Castro’s brother Michael; and Laneshe Young, the Sob Story from the Louisville auditions. You might remember how the Idol producers played up how poor her family was. Laneshe was still bound and determined to succeed and showed some soul during her last audition.

It was now announcement time, but suspiciously Captain Jack had to bail to catch a plane for the UK so it was left to the other three judges to tell each group their fate. Since Simon was not around to force the others to just come out and make the announcement, both Drunk Chick and Sexual Chocolate went on and on about how difficult it was for them to decide and how uneven the performances were and how each of them should not give up on their dreams no matter what happens and so on and so on and so..... Every once in a while Horny Chick chimed in, but it was clear that she didn't know the drill and was leaving it to the pros. Group 2 was first and after the rambling they were told that they were through to the next round. While the folks at Vote for the Worst must not have been pleased that Joanna Pacitti passed, I for one was happy to see Steven Fowler go through. Group 3 was next and they got a shorter version of the spiel, which of course meant that for them it was the end of the line.

There was only 5 minutes left in the show and there were still two groups to inform. Group 1 was next and it was pretty obvious from the start that this group was going through given who was in it. The last group to hear was Group 4, and we learned why the Idol producers moved Tatiana to this group from Group 2. They clearly want drama from Miss Del Toro to close the show and she did not disappoint, as she started to have a nervous breakdown while the judges were doing their spiel. Finally Matt Brietzke raised his hand and asked “so it’s a no, right?” to try and stop the madness. I liked that guy at his audition and I like him even more now. I do wonder, though, how he will deal with Trained Seal’s teases should he make it to the Top 12. We may yet find out because Group 4, including Tatiana, Matt, and Nick/Norman, were through to the next round, which is….

The Chair Show!

50 contestants remain and they were invited back to “the judges’ mansion” to sit in the chairs and find out if they are in the semi-finals. Yes, that’s right, instead of folding chairs and folding tables in some abandoned dance studio somewhere, the chair show this year is being held in a plush mansion complete with plush chairs and presumably plush tables. Trained Seal didn't say, though, which judge’s mansion will be used for the shoot. We can probably rule out Horny Chick since she is new and still can’t afford a plush estate. Wouldn't it be ironic if they have it at Paula’s house, right after she complained to Barbara Walters about how Fox told everybody, including her former stalker, where she lived? Trained Seal did tease that there was a surprise waiting for the contestants. Apparently Captain Jack is going to ask one of them to sing while sitting in the chair. More manufactured drama awaits us all tomorrow night.