The Grand Finale

I guess this will be my last post on this blog, unless Idol follows through on Ryan Seacrest's threat last night and return. However, before I retire to wherever it is that former show recappers go, I do have a closing statement.

I actually did seriously consider recapping this season since it was the last one. I was watching the audition shows but then got distracted with other things (a.k.a. life) and the next thing I know Idol was doing the Top 3 show, about a month and a half earlier than they usually did. I'm not sure why Fox was in a hurry to get the show off the air before the May sweeps. That can't be that excited about the new John Cena show...

After enduring bloated finales featuring artists with no connection to Idol but were on only to promote themselves, it was refreshing to see that everyone who appeared at this finale was either a former contestant, judge, a former co-host, or was a kid from one of Harry's charities. It actually made the group numbers more enjoyable than usual as I was trying to guess who would appear next.

I would like to thank Idol for giving me an avenue to publish my sarcasm and wit and for introducing me to Cheyennis Doom. I wonder if she still owns and loves that Ford Focus or even remembers this blog. This blog also gave my mom a reason to still pay attention to the show even though she is still upset that Chris Daughtry got voted off in 4th Place back in Season 5. Yes, 10 years ago.

One last feature before I leave, a special edition of Idol Gives Back: The Fearless Predictions. Thanks to Wikipedia and a few other websites, let's see how I did predicting the futures of the Idol contestants in Seasons 7, 8, 9 and 12.

Season 7:

David Cook will have a mildly successful first album, an awful second album that will cause Clive Davis to dump him from the label, and then will end up doing musical theater and singing the Idol going home song 5 years from now, if the show lasts that long. Basically an emo version of Ruben Stoddard.

What happened? His first album went platinum, but his 2nd album sold only 133,000 copies and he was subsequently dumped by Clive Davis’ label. He has occasionally performed on Idol but has never done the going home song even though the show lasted 7 more years instead of 5.

David Archuleta will make a ton of commercials, will be alienated from everyone else on the summer tour, will have a first album that will bomb, then achieve success doing Disney musicals with Miley Cyrus who he will be linked to romantically by TMZ and People magazine. By age 23 David will rebel from his Stage Dad, put out a rock album that will be poorly received but draw the attention of car crash enthusiasts, then finally go through drug rehab and emerge with a decent career on the nostalgia circuit just like George Michael, or maybe Britney Spears.

What happened? David has released 6 albums; one was released exclusively in the Philippines where he apparently is very popular, including acting in a TV mini-series there. He didn’t go on a drug binge but instead did a Mormon mission in Chile at age 21, returning at age 23. However, he did appear on Season 3 of Hannah Montana in 2009 and sang a duet with Miley Cyrus.

Syesha Mercado is destined for a touring company of Rent, and may get lucky and have Andrew Lloyd Weber write a part for her in his next musical, and of course your local Ford dealers will want her back to do some more spots for them.

What happened? Syesha I am proud to say has a career in musical theater just like I had predicted. She was on the national tour of Dreamgirls in 2009 and debuted on Broadway in Book of Mormon in 2014.

Jason Castro will either be coming to a coffee house near you or will fade into obscurity and probably won’t care either way.  

What happened? Jason acted in 2 episodes of The Bold and the Beautiful in 2010, and now is in the band Castro with his 2 younger siblings, one of whom auditioned for Idol in a later season. He married in 2010 and has 2 kids.

Brooke White will be very successful making albums for children, then after seeing her first R-rated movie will go into a sex and drug binge that will put her in the same rehab clinic as David Archuleta.

What happened? Brooke released a Christmas album in 2009 (there is a pattern here as you will see) and partnered with singer-songwriter Jack Matranga to be Jack and White from 2011-2012. She also released an album of lullabies (see, an album for children) for a charity that rescues kids from sex slavery in 2014. She has acted in 2 TV movies but apparently never was tempted to go on that binge.

Carly Smithson will never get another record deal but will parlay her fame on the show to increased business at her San Diego Irish bar and tattoo parlor by offering 2 for 1 deals on either Guinness or tattoos on nights that she sings.

What happened? Carly became the lead singer of a Goth metal band and performed with Cirque du Soleil in "Viva Elvis" from 2010-2012. She also was a table judge for Idol at their 2014 auditions, hosted an Idol boot camp in 2013, and recapped Idol for a Fox San Diego station in 2015. She still lives in San Diego and now has a daughter. I don’t know if she still has the bar.

Kristy Lee Cook will enjoy the most successful music career of all of the Top 12 contestants making country music records because country music fans love their Idols. If Bucky Covington and Kellie Pickler can make a career out of country music then there’s no stopping Kristy Lee.

What happened? Kristy re-signed with Arista Nashville and charted a country album in 2008. She still has a record deal (but with a different label) and hosted a TV show on hunting on Versus in 2011. So yes, she did have one of the most successful careers among the Top 12.

Michael Johns will make an album that will bomb so bad that his label will dump him, then after sitting at home for 2 or 3 years claiming that the label didn’t promote him well enough he will finally come to his senses, hook up with a decent rock band, and end up with an average career.

What happened? Michael’s first album did indeed bomb, but he never got the chance to develop a decent career. He passed away in 2014 from an enlarged heart condition at age 35. May he rest in peace.

Ramiele Malubay will play before packed houses in Manila and will appear in numerous Tagalog movies and soap operas but will never be seen in the United States again except for the sex tapes that will appear on You Tube.

What happened? Ramiele indeed performed in the Philippines, but instead of Manila she now lives and performs in Miami and went back to school and got her nursing degree. She also released a Christmas album.

Chikezie Eeze has already gone back to working security at LAX and looks forward to the day he gets to go through Paula Abdul’s bags again.

What happened? Chikezie went vegan, played a singer on General Hospital in 2009, and was arrested for felony identify theft in the Neiman Marcus in Beverly Hills in 2010.

Amanda Overmyer will sing and run up the tab in bars all over the Midwest as well as Carly’s bar in San Diego, then semi-sober up and have 6 kids and a home in the suburbs.

What happened? Amanda released an album and performed at Whisky A Go Go and the Harley Davidson Summerfest in 2008, has toured extensively in the Midwest since then (see, I told you so), and has her own record label Chile Records.

David Hernandez will set up a one-stop shop for all of your wedding entertainment needs. He’ll sing at your wedding and at your reception, and for only $50 more he’ll perform at your bachelorette party too.

What happened? David performs at casinos with other former Idol contestants, came out as gay, and collaborates with a sideman for private performances around the Western US and Canada. Wikipedia didn’t elaborate on what type of private performances David is doing.

Season 8:

Kris Allen's teen heartthrob status will last until his second album that will bomb, forcing him to go back to college to study whatever it was he was studying. It must be something boring like science or engineering since the producers never bothered to mentioned it. 

What happened? Kris’ second album bombed and he left RCA. Rather than return to college he auditioned for the lead in the Rock of Ages movie but didn’t get the part. He too released a Christmas album in 2012. Kris is still married to same woman he was married to when he was on the show and now has a son with another on the way.

Adam Lambert will star in the next Broadway revivals of Tommy, Hair, and every other rock opera produced over the last 30 years plus of course the new musical version of Saturday Night Fever. And then publicly reveal that he is gay. 

What happened? Adam came out as gay and got ABC-TV in trouble with the FCC after kissing a male bassist and grabbing the crouch of another musician at the 2009 American Music Awards. He was the first former contestant to return to Idol as a mentor and has also been a guest judge. Adam tours with Queen as their new lead singer and was the #1 earner among former Idol contestants in 2015. He hasn’t appeared on Broadway but he will co-star in Fox’s remake of Rocky Horror that will air this Fall. He did not appear at the Idol finale because he was filming Rocky Horror in Toronto.

Danny Gokey will take Taylor Hicks’ place as “Teen Angel” in the traveling company of Grease and will remarry, perhaps to his BFF Jamal Rodgers.

What happened? Danny began a career in country music but that bombed and he was dropped by RCA in 2011. He is now recording Christian music and did a Christmas album in 2015 (see the pattern?). Danny remarried in 2012 (not to Jamal Rodgers) and has two kids.

Allison Iraheta will put out an album that no one but me will buy, go on to college and discover an art class, and tour small houses in New York and L.A. as a bohemian artist and singer.  

What happened? Allison released an album with Jive in 2009 but got dropped from the label in 2011. She is currently the lead singer for Halo Circus, who will be releasing their first album in May, and has been an Idol backup singer since Season 13 (Rickey Minor got her the gig). Her hair is now pink instead of red.

Matt Giraud will have his forehead mole removed and go back to playing in bars, albeit nicer ones than before. Perhaps he may stop by Carly Smithson’s bar in San Diego.  

What happened? Matt performed at the Grand Ole Opry and lived in Nashville for a while, then returned to Michigan and graduated from Western Michigan University. He now plays in clubs around Kalamazoo and Battle Creek (including a dueling piano show at FireKeeper’s Casino) and it looks like he finally got the mole removed.

Lil Rounds will record a Mary J. Blige song that will win her a Grammy, where she will dis Simon Cowell in her acceptance speech.

What happened? Lil began working on an album in 2010 but never got it released. She sporadically performs around Memphis as Lil Coburn.

Anoop Desai will put out an album full of attitude that will bomb, but then he’ll make millions by putting out a brand of spicy southern barbeque sauce full of attitude.

What happened? Anoop released 2 singles and an album in 2010 that sold only 900 copies. He now lives in Atlanta and is working a musical project called “Zero: The Mixtape”. He has apparently abandoned the BBQ sauce idea.

Scott McIntyre will appear in charity events around the country talking about how blind people can do normal things like sing and play instruments, and while on tour will use his special powers to make a blind child see.

What happened? Scott released an album in 2010 that sold 1000 copies (after performing a song from it on Idol), then got married in 2011 and published a memoir in 2012. Scott also released a Christmas album in 2013 and still occasionally performs. He received a 2nd kidney transplant in 2015.

Megan Joy Corkrey will go back into drug rehab. There, I said it. It is my last post of the season so damn the political correctness.

What happened? Megan revealed that she was addicted to alcohol while on the show. Yeah, I had a feeling that something like that was going on. Megan also revealed that she dropped Corkrey during Idol because she was in a child custody fight with her ex-husband at the time. Megan got remarried and made a movie with her new husband in 2012 and also released a Kickstarter funded album that year.

Michael Sarver will have to go back to school and study for a new career since his buddies on the oil rig won’t be able to stop laughing at him.

What happened? Michael signed a record deal and toured with Gina Glocksen, David Hernandez, and Alexis Grace in 2009-2010. He signed another deal in 2010 then left it in 2012, and now bills himself as a country recording artist and released a self-published album in 2015. He never went back to that rig.

Alexis Grace will finally marry the fiancée that she talked about at her audition and led a relatively normal life, provided that she stops listening to Horny Chick’s advice.

What happened? Alexis tried an array of showbiz paths, including musical theater, shows in Branson, writing country music in Nashville, appearing in commercials, and a regular gig as a deejay on a radio station in Memphis. She did get married, but to a Swedish guy and not the fiancée she was engaged to while on the show.

Jasmine Murray will make a cameo appearance on 90210, ride on a float in the Rose Parade, and then will fade back into obscurity, kind of like that teenage girl from Season 5 whose name I cannot remember.

What happened? Jasmine has managed to remain in the spotlight by entering and winning beauty pageants. She was crowned Miss Spirit of the South and Miss Mississippi State University in 2012, Miss Mississippi in 2014, and competed in Miss America and placed in the Top 10. I believe she is the only former Idol contestant who also competed in America’s first reality show competition.

Jorge Nunez is already back in San Juan using his brief time on Idol to impress the chicas.

What happened? Jorge returned to Puerto Rico and fell off the radar.

Season 9:

Lee Dewyze will release an album that will tank and then enjoy a modest career on the county fair circuit as the new lead singer of Chicago.

What happened? Lee released an album in 2010 that sold only 153,000 copies and was dumped by RCA a year later. He started an acoustic tour of small clubs in 2012 and released albums on indie labels in 2012, 2013 (which charted at #116) and 2016.

Crystal Bowersox will be part of Lilith Fair 2011 and then make a Jason Castro baby with her goofy boyfriend, or perhaps with Lee.

What happened? Crystal is still touring clubs around the country, and released albums in 2010 and 2012. She was scheduled to play Patsy Cline on Broadway in 2014 before the show got cancelled. Crystal married the boyfriend in 2010 but divorced him and came out as bisexual in 2013.

Casey James will bring his special form of blues to the Circle M every Saturday night. Girls who bring panties will get in for half price.

What happened? Casey went country instead of blues, releasing a country album in 2012 and a single in 2015. He got married in 2014 (not to Kara DioGuardi) and had a daughter in 2016.

Michael Lynche will become the new spokesperson for GNC and sing the Season 11 (and final) Idol going home song.

What happened? Michael went on a diet and lost 90 pounds, and tours small clubs with his backup band The Black Saints. He too didn’t do a go home song.

Aaron Kelly will land a recurring role in Glee.

What happened? Aaron released a country single in 2012 and formed a country group called Upscale. Glee did not come calling.

Siobhan Magnus will record a duet with Adam Lambert, marry into a rich Cape Cod family, and become the rich but eccentric aunt that we all wish that we had.

What happened? The week after Siobhan’s dismissal, American Idol had its lowest ratings since 2002. She has not recorded a duet with Adam Lambert but performed with Hanson in 2010 and with the band Boston in 2014. Siobhan created an Ella and Frank tribute show in 2015, plays small clubs with her new local rock band, and plans to release a Dusty Springfield tribute album in 2016. She may not be rich but she is still eccentric.

Tim Urban is already in Las Vegas gambling that his run of luck will transfer to the craps table.

What happened? Tim released an EP in 2010, got married and performed at regional Miss USA pageants in 2013. He is not the same Tim Urban who edits a blog and did a TED talk in 2016. He may be lucky but he is not that lucky.

Andrew Garcia will fulfill his father’s dream and become the lead janitor for the Los Angeles Unified School District. The kids will love his appearances as the singing custodian during their holiday pageants.

What happened? Andrew performed in a musical and comedy performing group in 2011 and has been acting in You Tube videos since 2012. It beats cleaning school toilets for a living.

Katie Stevens will have a moment of inspiration and realize that Simon was right and that she can make millions as a country singer.

What happened? Katie is making millions as a TV star instead of a country singer. Since 2014 she has starred in the MTV sitcom Faking It, playing a high school student pretending to be a lesbian to be more popular. Katie also had a guest starring role in the series finale of CSI.

Didi Benami will return to Tennessee and find steady work at Dollywood, which she will use as a platform to tell the world what a terrible judge of talent the Idol judges are.

What happened? Didi moved to LA instead of Dollywood and sang the National Anthem at various sporting events in 2011. She finally released an album in 2014 that was financed out-of-pocket and by crowdsourcing.

Paige Miles will discover the singing voice that the judges kept claiming was there and use it to join the cast of the revival of Dreamgirls.

What happened? Paige moved to LA and recorded songs for an EP that never got released. She starred in a musical called Beehive in 2011 but never got the Dreamgirls gig. Paige however did escape from a burning car in 2011, according to Wikipedia.

Lacey Brown will call Megan Joy Corkrey and tell her that the judges were right to pick Megan over her last season.

What happened? Lacey moved to Nashville and released an EP in 2011, and tours small theaters as a country artist.

Season 12:

Candice Glover might actually have a decent career, unless she follows Nicki’s advice and records a dance music album in Gee Chee.

What happened? Candice released an album in 2014 that peaked at #14 and sold 65,000 copies. She is recording a second album to be released in 2016, but left Jimmy Iovine’s label in January. One web site estimated her net worth at $1M. Candice has also dabbled in gospel musicals in LA.

Kree Harrison will sincerely thank Jimmy Iovine for everything he did for her after he dumps Kree from his label.

What happened? Jimmy never signed Kree to his label. She instead released a country single on an indie label in early 2016.

Angie Miller will team up with her twin sisters Angela Miller and Miley Cyrus to star in a remake of Disney’s The Parent Trap.

What happened? Angie released a Christmas single in 2013 (there is that Christmas thing again), then toured Southeast Asia and released an EP in 2014. In February Angie announced that she would now go by the new stage name “Zealyn” (that’s now three names for her in 3 years) and plans to release an alt rock / electropop album this summer.

Amber Holcomb will be the understudy for Season 7 contestant Syesha Mercado in her role in the travelling cast of Book of Mormon (and not Rent, which I had predicted for Syesha 6 years ago).

What happened? Amber put her music career on hold and gave birth to a baby girl in 2014. She later dumped her manager and is now pursuing a comeback. She performed at the series finale and on a Houston morning news show the day before the finale.

Janelle Arthur will be the lead singer for a Goth rock group after she discovers she’ll make more money in that genre than in the country genre that is too saturated with blonde former Idol contestants.

What happened? Janelle went against my advice (again) and released a country EP in 2015. She has appeared at the Grand Ole Opry 13 times in the last 2 years.

Lazaro Argos will be part of a goodwill mission to Cuba and won’t be allowed to return by the Cuban government that is desperate for role models with special powers.

What happened? Lazaro has built a career performing in parades, including the Magnificent Mile parade in Chicago last November and the Cherry Blossom Parade in DC this April. He is also claiming to be working on an EP.

Burnell Taylor will honeymoon in France with his new bride Candice and show off his French speaking skills to the locals.

What happened? Burnell ditched Candice and Amber and instead performed with Nicki Minaj at the BET Awards in 2014 and at the New Orleans Jazz Fest in 2014.

Devin Valez will first kiss and make up with Nicki, then will come out of the closet by kissing and making up with Lazaro, literally.

What happened? Rather than kiss and make up with Nicki Minaj, Devin engaged in a Twitter war with her when he left the show. He still lives in Chicago and performs at benefits in the Upper Midwest, and yes, he came out as gay.

Paul Jolley will be cast by Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber in his next Broadway musical, "He’s a Little Bit Country".

What happened? Paul released a Christmas single in 2013 and a country single in 2014. He is still a little bit country. Paul moved to Nashville and occasionally performing in Nashville clubs with the band The Pauls. His Twitter account has lots of photos of him working out.

Curtis Finch, Jr. will return the computer that he got arrested for stealing in order to cleanse himself of his sins.

What happened? After Curtis claimed to a radio station that Idol was fixed that season, he mysteriously disappeared…

Oh, and I never did resume the Tuesday nights at the gym or lose those pounds. Perhaps it wasn't Idol's fault after all...

So that's it. We are dismissed...for now